Episode 84

May 19, 2024


Episode 84 - Aaron Vilaubi - From Corporate Struggles to Personal Triumph: Aaron’s Journey of Growth and Self-Discovery

Hosted by

Drew Deraney
Episode 84 - Aaron Vilaubi - From Corporate Struggles to Personal Triumph: Aaron’s Journey of Growth and Self-Discovery
From Caving In To Crushing It
Episode 84 - Aaron Vilaubi - From Corporate Struggles to Personal Triumph: Aaron’s Journey of Growth and Self-Discovery

May 19 2024 | 00:36:56


Show Notes

This episode: From Corporate Struggles to Personal Triumph: Aaron’s Journey of Growth and Self-Discovery. 


Here’s what you’ll learn about:

Personal growth and career development. (0:07)

  • Aaron Vilaubi shares his journey of self-discovery and growth through interviews with successful men.
  • He reflects on his path to success, crediting mentors and embracing opportunities for growth.
  • Aaron shares two stories from his personal and professional life, including a challenging experience in corporate America.
  • He struggled with a performance plan for 6 weeks, then made errors under microscope.
  • Aaron fought to keep job despite mental health issues and physical discomfort.

Personal and professional growth through self-awareness and taking calculated risks. (6:46)

  • Aaron reflects on personal growth through past relationships and defining moments.
  • He emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and decision-making independence.
  • Aaron describes his fear of public speaking, despite having a natural talent for it.
  • He found his voice through Toastmasters and discovered his passion for speaking.

Identity and how it can be tied to external labels, with a focus on personal growth and self-discovery. (13:38)

  • Aaron reflects on personal growth and identity, sharing insights on conformity and intuition.
  • He shares personal story of losing identity after athletic career ended, still working on finding self-worth.
  • Identity tied to external labels can lead to depression, as seen in friend/colleague who retired from practicing law.

Identity, motivation, and success. (18:26)

  • Aaron Vilaubi: Identity is found through self-awareness and intrinsic motivation.
  • Aaron Vilaubi: Identity shifts over time, but it's okay to adapt and find new motivations.
  • Aaron discusses the importance of surrounding oneself with the right people for success.
  • He addresses the elephant in the room by acknowledging the listener's potential doubts about his credibility.

Personal growth and coaching with Aaron Vilaubi. (24:23)

  • Aaron offers free assessment call to help audience members improve their lives.
  • He provides personalized coaching based on full assessment of client's calendar, habits, and goals.
  • He shares personal stories and advice for young people, including empathy and creativity.
  • Aaron's book chapter highlights a pivotal moment in his childhood, showing the importance of connection and appreciation.


To learn more about Aaron’s mission, go to his LinkedIn profile at https://www.linkedin.com/in/aaron-vilaubi/ 

Or his website at https://www.aaronvilaubi.com/  


Aaron’s Bio: Aaron Vilaubi

Aaron Vilaubi is an authentic, charismatic communicator. He is currently the youngest motivational speaker on the internationally recognized Absolute Motivation YouTube channel with his words and voice having been played over 1,000,000 times across the world. From start-ups to higher ed to corporate to entrepreneurship, Aaron's career, and experiences as an endurance athlete serve as the source of his message and is what led his recruitment by the Absolute Motivation team. Above all, he credits his faith and God with his success. 

Aaron is a sought-after athlete influencer and has delivered motivational talks across the country at private masterminds, universities, and church congregations. He is one of the few Latino motivational speakers under the age of 30 in the country and currently leads a run club out of Orange County where he uses running as a vehicle for helping people discover the best of themselves and others.

For more information, follow him on Instagram where he loves to share motivational messages and fitness content and remind his audience of the greatness within them and remaining authentic.



Website: https://profitcompassion.com/

Email: [email protected]

Free Webinar: How To Be A Man

Register here https://profitcompassion.com/caveman-webinar

Men’s Group Registration: email to learn more at [email protected]

Book a Coaching Discovery Call: https://link.mavericksystems.online/widget/bookings/netweaving/connect30

Pick up a copy of Drew’s book: https://amzn.to/40dsbyR

View Full Transcript

Episode Transcript

[00:00:06] Speaker A: Welcome to from caving in to crushing it, the podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Duraney, and I'm your host. Today's guest is Aaron Valabi. Aaron Valabi is an authentic, charismatic communicator. He is currently the youngest motivational speaker on the internationally recognized absolute motivation YouTube channel. With his words and voice having been played over 1 million times across the world, from startups to higher ed to corporate to entrepreneurship, Aaron's career and experiences as an endurance athlete serve as the source of his message and is what led his recruitment by the absolute motivation team. Above all, he credits his faith and God with his success. Aaron is a sought after athletic influencer and has delivered motivational talks across the country at private masterminds, universities and church congregations. He is one of the few latino motivational speakers under the age of 30 in the country and currently leads a run club out of Orange county where he uses running as a vehicle for helping people discover the best of themselves and others. For more information, follow him on Instagram where he loves to share motivational messages and fitness content and remind his audience of the greatness within them and remaining authentic. Enjoy the show. Aaron, good to see you, my friend. [00:01:48] Speaker B: Pleasure to see you. Thank you for having me. [00:01:50] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. It's a pleasure for me to have you on. You are one of the few under 30. [00:01:59] Speaker B: I barely made the cut by just a couple of years. [00:02:02] Speaker A: You made the cut by a couple years. And I love talking to the youth in our country because the future is up to you guys. I always say that there's, you know how there's 18 holes in golf. I say that you are in the front nine of your career. I'm in the mid nine of my career. And then we got to help the other people who in the back nine of their career. So for coming on, man, I really appreciate it. [00:02:26] Speaker B: Thank you for having me. Again, even to your analogy about golf, front nine, back nine. You enjoy talking to the youth. The only reason that I have had any level of success, whether in my nine to five job or as an entrepreneur, is because I've learned from people who have walked the path before me, much like yourself, who are leading groups like you are. It makes all of the difference in the world. [00:02:49] Speaker A: It certainly does. So. So thanks again for coming on. I want to thank. I always thank the person who introduced me to my guest and Nate wild, I have to thank for introducing us. I'm grateful for him and for the fact that he thought about putting us together, you know, on, on this show, Aaron, we talk about how when we grow up, people with the best intent tell us that if you do certain things, everything's going to be fine. The linear path, do a plus, b plus, d and e is going to happen, Aaron, everything's going to be fine. Ultimately, we end up doing all the right stuff, and stuff happens. It's because we cannot control external circumstances. And there's three types of men out there. There's man number one, who has a defining moment right in front of him, and he doesn't even freaking notice it. He's, like, so clueless and so just sleepwalking through life. He doesn't notice it, and he's just going to continue his unfulfilled life. And then there's man number two, who sees something in front of him, he looks at it, he goes, oh, man, that's a barrier. I can't get by that. I'm just going to retreat, give up, and continue my unfulfilled life. And then there's man number three, and that's the man I interview, and that's you. That's the man who sees something in front of him, looks at it and says, hey, you know what? I'm seeing that as an opportunity to live a better life and become a better man. I'm going to seize that moment, and I'm going to take on the world. That's who I interview here. And I'd love for you to reach back as far as you need to, to grab that defining moment that you said, hey, aaron, is a better way to live. And now you're doing it, and it's molded you to who you are now. Can you reach back and give the audience a little idea of that story? [00:04:35] Speaker B: Absolutely. So there's two stories that come to mind. One from personal life, one from. One from professional life. I'll start with. I'll start with professional life. From professional life. It was when I was working in corporate America and I worked in higher education. Before that, I was there for about five years, but I knew that I wanted growth in my career. And unfortunately, at the institution I was at and the way that things were going, this was. And I knew that there was a low ceiling for growth with my career in higher education. And for those financial milestones, for those, you know, job title milestones wanted to hit, I knew I would have to make a pivot, either hop to another university or change industries entirely. Sure. An opportunity came where I could change industries and I can move into corporate America. And it was for a small consulting firm out in Orange County. A friend of mine worked in HR there and he said, hey, I think you'd be a good fit. And I'd known him for twelve years. So I said sure. And paid was great. I worked with great people. Some of them are still my friends today. But the job itself was killing me. And I come from relationship management. I love to talk clearly and getting to know people on a one to one level is where I find that I'm best. That's when I show up as my best, that's when I perform my best. But this job was seven and a half hours a day sitting behind Excel looking at Excel files that were so big they damn near crashed my computer. And I'm having to look for a couple of data. It's a lot of data analysis, which I'm doing, but when it's seven and a half hours a day now I'm venturing out of my strengths and I'm now operating from a place that's, I'm forcing, I'm trying to force the proverbial square pegging around the hole. [00:06:16] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:06:17] Speaker B: But, but the trick was, and this is kind of, to answer your question, one of the defining moments was they talk about the square peg in a round hole. [00:06:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:24] Speaker B: For me it was like an oval peg in a round hole where it was like, it was like kind of fitting. And I thought, oh look, look, it's about to fit. It's about to fit. So then I doubled down on it and I. But in more hours and I show up earlier and I stay later. That became my reputation in the office. But I was still struggling. But I came from this, I'm a hard worker background, I came from that, that mentality and I knew that as long as I applied myself, the outcome I wanted was always going to show up. [00:06:51] Speaker A: Right. [00:06:51] Speaker B: But this was the first time when hard work wasn't enough. Hard work was always enough. That's what we are always taught. I know this is the lesson you mentioned earlier. We are always taught if you work hard enough, you'll get the outcome. It was the first time I learned that lesson, that it wasn't always the case because despite how much I worked, I was put on a performance plan. Ultimately I was terminated from that job. But the defining moment for me was this eight week performance plan. Six weeks of that, I was killing it. Flip the switch. I thought, I'm not letting this thing beat me, I'm going to win. I'm not letting them tell me when to go. I'm going to tell them what I'm going. The last two weeks happened. I lose my momentum. And because I'm under a microscope, I made a couple of small errors, none of which a client saw. But because I'm under that microscope, they say, hey, we can't sign you in confidence off on this performance plan. I'm like, man, and I was bummed for about 90 seconds. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Good for you. [00:07:45] Speaker B: 90 whole seconds. And then it clicked like I was actively fighting tooth and nail to keep the job that I hated. I was fighting to keep the job that was killing me. I was. Mental health was suffering, my physical health. Suffering. Needed some discs, and. [00:07:58] Speaker A: Oh, God, it was. [00:07:59] Speaker B: It was in bad. I was in bad shape. Like, lowest point of my life, of course, but I was actively fighting to keep the thing that was killing me. [00:08:07] Speaker A: That's insightful that you. Yeah, yeah. Fighting like hell to keep the job you hated. Think about that. [00:08:14] Speaker B: For what reason? [00:08:15] Speaker A: Yeah, for what? [00:08:17] Speaker B: And all I can chalk it up to for me was those first six weeks was my will. I was forced. And those last two weeks, divine intervention, saying, look, Aaron, if you stay here, it's gonna ruin you. But I have to step in now, because if you stay here, it's not gonna be a good outcome for you. You need to pivot this way. [00:08:34] Speaker A: Yep. [00:08:34] Speaker B: And I was. I was. My last day was on a Monday. [00:08:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:37] Speaker B: I went to an event on a Wednesday, and by Friday, I was offered a position or I was offered a partnership with absolute motivation, which is the brand that I. That I contribute content to, that I'm actively involved with. [00:08:48] Speaker A: Right. [00:08:49] Speaker B: It all happened within the same week. [00:08:50] Speaker A: But here we go. [00:08:51] Speaker B: That was the defining moment. I love that I was fighting to keep something that was killing me. [00:08:55] Speaker A: I love that. I love that. And you know, that that'll teach you both professionally and personally in life to. [00:09:03] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:09:03] Speaker A: To be aware of what you're fighting for, right? [00:09:07] Speaker B: Definitely. [00:09:07] Speaker A: Yeah. So you said you also had a personal pivot moment. Defining moment. Yeah, that's right. [00:09:13] Speaker B: I didn't even mention the personal moment. Yeah. Personal moment for me was. It actually stemmed from a prior relationship that I had. [00:09:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:21] Speaker B: And you know what? I need to get too. Too much into it. [00:09:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:25] Speaker B: It basically came down to this idea of, there's no way that this can be the best case scenario for a relationship. I was like, you know, I was like, man, I really like this person. Love this person. But we fight four days out of the week, five days out of the week. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. [00:09:42] Speaker B: Great. Two days are wonderful. Yeah, but is it worth the two days of joint to put up with five days of whiting and nitpicking? And I'm sitting there like, man. And as a. At least maybe this is for me, not speaking behalf of all men. Right. But as a man, I'm like, I wanna. I wanna be the safe space. I wanna, you know, at the time, this is when I was in college still. But I wanna be as much security for that person as possible. Affirming for that person. [00:10:08] Speaker A: Right. [00:10:08] Speaker B: But it was like I was trying to play that role, but also trying to hold my ground in these. These arguments. And it was, you know, I'm not gonna say it was all their fault, because we had a contributing role. [00:10:19] Speaker A: We all play a part. [00:10:20] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. But it came down to this idea of, there's no way this can be the best case scenario for a relationship. [00:10:27] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:10:27] Speaker B: And. And left that relationship. Spent five years of my life in, like, intentionally single without having a. Like, a titled girlfriend. [00:10:37] Speaker A: Good for you. [00:10:38] Speaker B: And I'm a firm believer that every person, every man should spend an extended period of time single, because you need to know how you make decisions without being influenced by the bias or being biased towards how somebody else will respond to them. [00:10:50] Speaker A: Jeff. Absolutely, I'm with you. The most important relationship we will ever have is the relationship with ourself. [00:10:57] Speaker B: Yeah. You hear that? It's a great piece of advice. I didn't know what it looked like in real time. Wait. I spent five years learning how to make decisions on my own without wondering, well, how is. How is the girlfriend going to feel about, you know, do I really like it? Do I like it because she likes it? Do I like it because I want her to like me for it? [00:11:19] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [00:11:20] Speaker B: It's. That's. That's an example of, you gotta get to know yourself. [00:11:23] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:11:24] Speaker B: That lesson translated into every area of my life. [00:11:28] Speaker A: Jeff, that's beautiful. So. So you had first the personal lesson lesson, and then that started to guide you, and then you had that professional lesson, which, which took some of what you learned from the personal, put it together with the professional, and you learned something really, really important. So coming out of both that personal defining moment and now the professional defining moment, and working with, as a motivational speaker, how have you taken those lessons that you've learned, and how are you then using the speaking vehicle to let others know that they can make those choices, too? [00:12:06] Speaker B: I'll tell it in a story. [00:12:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:09] Speaker B: More of, like a proverb. There's a man, he's walking on the sidewalk. He's going off for a walk, just enjoying himself. And he walks by a house, and he notices there's an older gentleman on the porch. He's got a dog at his feet. As he walks by the gentleman and his dog, he notices that the dog is groaning. Dog is moaning. He's grumbling. Looks at him and says, hey, the younger man to the older gentleman, hey, what's wrong with the dog? Why is he. Why is he moaning like that? Older gentleman says, he's laying on a nail. Laying on a nail? Why was he laying on a nail? Why wouldn't he move? Older gentleman says, must not hurt enough. And that's the key. I firmly believe without, obviously, an arbitrary percentage, but I think that 90% of society knows they have enough pain in their life to want different, but not enough pain to make them do something about it. Now, me as a motivational speaker, as a speaker in general, I always felt that I could do this. I knew I had a knack first for public speaking. Call it nature, call it nurture. My dad is an extrovert, social butterfly. Never met a stranger that kind of type. [00:13:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Right? [00:13:12] Speaker B: And even. Even growing up, when we would go to church, if elector didn't show up to do the reading that day, he would just volunteer and do it. And they picked, you know, two readers. [00:13:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:24] Speaker B: And he would come up and be one of them without knowing anything. [00:13:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:27] Speaker B: Not knowing what the. What the scripture was that day. He would just go up and speak to the entire church. [00:13:32] Speaker A: Wow. [00:13:32] Speaker B: So seven year old me, five year old me, is looking at this like, must not be a big deal. I guess so. I grew up thinking that it's not terrifying. Good on the irony of it being one of the top peers in the country. [00:13:43] Speaker A: Right. [00:13:44] Speaker B: So that's. That's kind of like a nature nurture element. [00:13:46] Speaker A: Right. [00:13:47] Speaker B: I always enjoyed speaking they. That corporate job that I really didn't do well, I didn't enjoy. They launched a toastmaster chapter, and that's when I was like, I need to. I need to look at this. I need to really launch myself into this and see if I can do something here. [00:14:03] Speaker A: Good. [00:14:03] Speaker B: And I'd received compliments like, hey, Aaron, like, you. You have a good way with speaking. I think you really found your voice. I think some people here are struggling. It seems like you found your voice good. And there's little hints like that that kind of tell you, maybe this is a clue. There's little clues. Right. Tony Robbins. Everyone will say success clues. [00:14:21] Speaker A: Right. [00:14:22] Speaker B: It does. Your own success also leaves clues before you. [00:14:26] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:14:27] Speaker B: You got to have an eye for it. You mentioned about the three different types of men. [00:14:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:31] Speaker B: That first type of man doesn't see the clues. [00:14:34] Speaker A: No. [00:14:34] Speaker B: The second type of man kind of sees them, but it's like, is that a clue? That third one says, let me. Let me take a closer look. It took me. I will not be the person that ever says, I was man number two, and then. Or I was. I was never man number two. I was always man number three. And as soon as I saw the clue, I jumped at it. [00:14:54] Speaker A: Nope. [00:14:56] Speaker B: Years. I thought, it's somebody else's job. [00:14:59] Speaker A: It's. [00:15:00] Speaker B: I'll just. I like to talk. [00:15:01] Speaker A: Right. [00:15:01] Speaker B: But not. Nothing to do with it. It took me years for me to say, well, let me do this. And it took getting let go from my job, getting fired for me to actually make that jump that I needed to make. And then once I made it, things happened in a week. Imagine that. [00:15:15] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. I love the way you told that story, the parable about the dog. I often say that there's four words that start with c, the four c words to avoid, and one of them is complacency. One of them is compliance. One of them is comparison. Comparison. And what's the fourth one, Drew, is compliance. It doesn't really matter. The point is, though, is that. Is that when you. Oh, conformity. Conformity. And many of us do conform to what we're being told to do, and it's a challenge to become one of those three men, because it's ingrained in us to do what we were told to do. You know, what? We have that there's a part of us that has that intuition, that spiritual being that knows who we truly are. And I give you a ton of credit for noticing that at such a young age, because most men don't wake up until they're in their mid fifties and they're starting to think about their legacy. So I give you a ton of credit, whether it's nature, nurture, or, you know. But you have that inside of you, and you were able to pull it out. So what's one of your like, as far as your talk titles or one of your. Do you have a favorite one? Do you have a keynote? And what is it? What would be, like, that visceral feeling for the audience if they hear you speak? Week? [00:16:51] Speaker B: Sure. So there are two real key talks that I give right now. [00:16:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:56] Speaker B: And then they all kind of fluctuate depending on the audience. Obviously, I would speak differently to a college audience. As I would to a private mastermind, as it would to a company, for example. [00:17:06] Speaker A: Right? [00:17:07] Speaker B: The first keynote that I give is about identity. [00:17:09] Speaker A: Okay? [00:17:10] Speaker B: I'm a first generation college student. I was told to work hard. I was a hard worker, I was an athlete. And then all of that got taken away from me because I got hurt. So even if I was doing poorly in school, at work, at least I could go run. At least I could pick up something that was heavy. And that gave me a sense of value, that gave me a sense of self efficacy. It was so much more than just, I'm gonna go burn calories and look good. It was a sense of, at least I'm useful. But then I got injured. I herniated a disc, had a severely compressed disc right above it. It hurt to put on socks. For any of you who bring you to disc, take that for granted. [00:17:45] Speaker A: Right? [00:17:45] Speaker B: It's not fun. They told me, oh, you'll be back in four to six weeks. It even to this day, I'm still a little bit careful. But it's been over a year for me to feel confident for twelve months, not four to six weeks. But it's been so much trial and error. But I talk about identity because who was left after hard worker was taken away? I got fired. Hard work wasn't enough. Who was left after athlete was taken away? I couldn't run, I couldn't pick up weights, right, what was left. And I had to really dig deep. And so I tell my story and I leave people with. At least my goal is to leave people with a sense of you're more than the labels you attribute to yourself. Love that if you limit yourself to the label. Tony Robbins, you know, many personal development leader will say, you fight for the identities and you fight for the limitations. You get to keep them. Every, whatever identity you have, your lifestyle will reflect behavior that reinforces that identity. I run, I state fit because I identify with athlete. Yeah, I work hard, whether it's washing dishes or sending emails, because I identify as being a hard worker. I do things to reinforce them. And if you take a minute to reflect on the identities that you say, oh, yeah, that's what I identify with. Think about your behavior. You're probably doing things that reinforce them. [00:19:05] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:19:06] Speaker B: Now, keep in mind, I didn't say it was a positive identity. It could also be a negative identity. I'm not immune to that either. And I have to check myself and I rely on others to check me as well, to keep myself in line. But I talk about this because you have to know what to do when those identities get taken from you. And I speak to this, to college students, and that really helps them as well. [00:19:26] Speaker A: So you mentioned identity. I was talking to somebody that told a story of a colleague of theirs or a friend of theirs or somebody they knew was an attorney for, like, 40 years. Right. And all he did was identify himself as attorney, and then he retired, and he had that title at home, and he wasn't practicing, and he kind of lost himself into depression because his identity was, I'm a practicing attorney, and now he's a retired attorney, and he had tied his entire identity on an external label for work he used to do, and he was lost, and he's working on finding himself right now. And it's a very good point that if we tie our self identity to an external circumstance that's fleeting or something that we're chasing, at some point we're going to lose it, and, yeah, we're going to lose ourselves. I've done it. So thank you for sharing that, because I think that's, that's the biggest thing people need that goes back to that relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship, because that's when you find your identity and never let it go. I love that. [00:20:30] Speaker B: I'll add to what you're saying as well, and saying, at least this has been the case for me. Your identity will shift. What you identify with will shift a little bit over time. [00:20:40] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:20:41] Speaker B: And that's okay. It will feel like panic at first. [00:20:45] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah. [00:20:47] Speaker B: It will feel like panic. Like, this is all I've ever known. [00:20:50] Speaker A: Right. [00:20:50] Speaker B: And this is not just professions. [00:20:53] Speaker A: Right. [00:20:53] Speaker B: This is, this is the title of mother and father. [00:20:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:56] Speaker B: And I'm speaking as relationship with my own parents. [00:20:58] Speaker A: Right. [00:20:58] Speaker B: When my, when my older sister moved out, moved out of the house, it was. My mother has had. Well, I credit so much of who I am because I had a two parent household. [00:21:09] Speaker A: Right. [00:21:09] Speaker B: My parents have been very supportive, and they provided opportunities that they never had. [00:21:14] Speaker A: Sure. [00:21:14] Speaker B: Like being a first generation college student. [00:21:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:17] Speaker B: But it was later and having, you know, those adult conversations with your parents. My mother mentioned that she had a very strong identity with being a mother, but when there was empty nest, it was like, it was like, uh, what do I do now? [00:21:30] Speaker A: Now? Yeah. [00:21:32] Speaker B: And she's kicking butt right now because she's like, I get it. I know what I got to do now. And she's kicking butt at life. And I love her so much. I'm so, so proud of her. [00:21:39] Speaker A: Beautiful. [00:21:40] Speaker B: But. But even to the point of parent. [00:21:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:43] Speaker B: I'm I'm not a parent yet. Right. But I'll tell everyone this. I look forward to the day of being a father. I don't need to be one tomorrow. I don't need to be one in nine months. But everything that I do, I am so deeply intrinsically motivated. [00:21:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:58] Speaker B: By the one. By one day having children. [00:22:00] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. [00:22:01] Speaker B: And wanting them to know their father, being present, giving them as much wisdom and as much guidance that's grounded in authenticity and truth as possible, surrounding them with right. People, allowing them to fail, knowing how to. How to guide them through those failures. [00:22:16] Speaker A: Right. [00:22:17] Speaker B: Everything that I do is to one day be a great father. [00:22:19] Speaker A: You know, I love when you. Aaron, words are so important, and I don't want to gloss over a word you just used. You said you are intrinsically motivated. That is so crucial. So folks grab on to that word intrinsically because the things that, that disappoint us in life are extrinsic and our reaction towards extrinsic circumstances, that term intrinsic motivation, is key. And thank you for using that word. I didn't want to gloss over that. Aaron, anymore. Yeah, no, absolutely. Any more on your speaking or other stuff that you're doing professionally you'd love to share with the audience? [00:23:03] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah. Another talk that I gave is the rusty nail one. [00:23:07] Speaker A: I would tell you about that. Okay. [00:23:08] Speaker B: Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It begins very similarly with the story of the dog and the nail. It's. It's. You're laying on a nail that hurts enough to know you want different, but not enough to make you want to move. [00:23:17] Speaker A: Right. [00:23:18] Speaker B: And that's. That's a Dane. It's a very scary place to be, and it's also kind of a dangerous place to be. [00:23:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:22] Speaker B: Because when you look at the people who have, who start with nothing, I've certainly started with more than many people I've met and haven't met. There's kind of only one place to go, and it's up. Not saying that they have it better than people in the middle, but there's something to work with. There's raw material. [00:23:38] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:23:38] Speaker B: When you start up, when you, when you kind of have that silver spoon and you're way up the way up the ladder, socio economically, you are surrounded by an environment that supports wealth and supports prosperity. So kind of all you know is success, unless you're the spoiled one. And sure, this case, it's not cut and dry, not black and white. [00:23:57] Speaker A: Right. [00:23:57] Speaker B: But as far as, like, the chances for learning one type of thing that perpetuates success. Yeah. You're surrounded by it because it's your neighbors, it's your parents, it's your school. [00:24:04] Speaker A: Right. [00:24:05] Speaker B: But that middle group is kind of tricky because it's not enough pain to say, I have only one way to go, and that's up. But it's. But, you know, it's not enough because you're looking up saying, well, they got more and so far away, and how do I get there? And I give a talk about that as well and how it's worked for me. I'm obviously not, I'm not claiming to be the top of the ladder. [00:24:25] Speaker A: Right. [00:24:25] Speaker B: But I am claiming to be someone who is in the middle, who has made active steps to move away from it and has now surrounded himself with some of the best speakers in the world, entrepreneurs, people who are investing in me in ways that I would have never known existed. [00:24:38] Speaker A: Yep. Absolutely. [00:24:39] Speaker B: That's, that's a big key component of what I discuss. [00:24:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:42] Speaker B: And the power of proximity as well. You got to get around the right people. [00:24:47] Speaker A: Yeah. So true. [00:24:47] Speaker B: You gotta get around the right people. One of, one of my favorite talks that I like to give. [00:24:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:53] Speaker B: Is, is when I was first speaking, my very first speaking opportunity, it was private mastermind. It was a virtual setting, 17 people, and the audience was between 23 years old. Recent college grads. They're on fire. Ambitious for life. [00:25:11] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. [00:25:12] Speaker B: And 65 year olds who are doctors and lawyers and engineers and sales professionals and real estate, like the whole. [00:25:20] Speaker A: And I'm mix. [00:25:21] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm this. Yeah. And I'm this fresh, new motivational speaker. What could I say to an audience like that? What could, what could I have possibly said that would leave an impact on them? So I give a talk about that as well. So I'm not going to give the spoiler alert. [00:25:36] Speaker A: No, you guys are going to have to find him. [00:25:38] Speaker B: You're going to have to find me for that one. [00:25:40] Speaker A: That is beautiful. [00:25:41] Speaker B: That's another talk I give is like, what do you do when you come up against the question of, I have more money, I have a better job title, I'm bigger than you. Why would I listen to you? So I gave that talk. I'm addressing the elephant in the room. I'm 28 years old. You get a bigger job title, you probably got more money. Without a doubt you do when you probably have a nicer car. Why would I listen to you? Well, why would you listen to me? [00:26:01] Speaker A: Well, this is why I love it. [00:26:03] Speaker B: So I gave that talk as well. [00:26:04] Speaker A: That's a great talk to help people get out of that imposter syndrome feeling where you don't feel comfortable. Like, why would people listen to me thing? A lot of people that. So thank you for offering that, Aaron. So, Aaron, I can guarantee you the audience has now captured the essence of Aaron Valabi, and they're going going to want to get in touch with you. So, folks, here's the best way to get in touch with Aaron. His website is www.aaronvolauby.com. It's pronounced valabi, but it's Aaron vilaubi.com that'll be in the show notes. Reach out to him, upper right hand corner. You'll see all of the social media things, Instagram and LinkedIn. Easiest way to get in touch with him. And Aaron also said that through that there's a contact me page. If the, if you reach out to Aaron via the contact me page on his website and reference the podcast from caving in to crushing it with Aaron Valabi, he'll give you a free assessment. Call in what Aaron, what are you going to talk about if someone reaches out to you? [00:27:14] Speaker B: Yep, we're going to do an assessment of your baseline. Where are you at? I do offer coaching, and this is the first thing that I start with anyone that I work with. The reason that I stress the importance of this is you think about a quote by Aristotle. If a man knows not where he sails, no wind is favorable. You got to know where you're going and you got to know where you're starting. You have to know your baseline threshold. So we're going to do a full assessment of your calendar, time management, lifestyle habits, your fitness, your nutrition, because there are very physical, like, there's a lot of coaches out there who will kind of give you intangible things you can't really hold in your hand. One thing that I do with people I coach is saying no. Like, you are what you eat, the media you consume, what you put in your brain, that your social media feed. [00:28:01] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:28:02] Speaker B: Do a whole head to toe audit of things and say, okay, like, what are you doing that's hindering you being great at your job or you, you wanting to be a better representative of your community or whatever, whatever role you want to improve at. I'm going to meet with you one on one and do an assessment of, let's see. These are some basic rules of thumb that have worked for me, that have worked for everyone that I've ever met who's excelling in life. And I've taken those principles and applied them to my coaching program. I will do that assessment with a person for free. It'll be anywhere between 30 minutes and an hour long conversation. Just depends. And I'll also, I actually didn't mention this earlier. I will also send them an ebook that I provided about the nine ways to optimize your opportunities in 2024. [00:28:46] Speaker A: Oh, love that. [00:28:49] Speaker B: And I stress nine ways to optimize your opportunities. These are the habits, these are the tried, tested and proven method that I use, that I've used for years that have led to landing mentors, that have landed podcast opportunities like this, that have led to speaking engagements, every job that I've ever had. Right. Like, I'm not, I will never bash a nine to five, by the way. [00:29:09] Speaker A: I will never bash. [00:29:11] Speaker B: What I will bash is when you betray your own human spirit in the name of just a job. [00:29:16] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:29:17] Speaker B: You can work a job and still be a very spirited person. Like, that's very possible. I don't, I don't subscribe to the, you know, f nine to five entrepreneurial. No, I don't subscribe to that. Everyone has their own path. [00:29:30] Speaker A: Yep, absolutely. [00:29:31] Speaker B: So. So I will, I will go through a head to toe thing and I'll send you an ebook that goes, beautiful. My nine steps of how I've implemented these exact strategies to lead to every opportunity that I've ever had in life. [00:29:43] Speaker A: Beautiful. So take him up on that. And Aaron, two final questions before we wrap up, my friend. Sure. Aaron, you have an opportunity to sit down with young seven to ten year old Aaron to give him advice about life. What are you going to tell him? [00:30:04] Speaker B: Seven to ten year old Aaron, don't break the neighbor's roof with the soccer ball. [00:30:09] Speaker A: That is a very good advice. He's not going to listen to you, so give him something else. [00:30:16] Speaker B: Yeah, right. He's going to do it anyway. Seven to ten year old Aaron, I put this. I'm actually not as a, like a, like a sneak peek. I'm writing a book right now and there's a chapter in there that I talk that's called I'm not from anywhere. There's a very, a very key moment in my life that happened when I was eight years old. [00:30:44] Speaker A: Okay. [00:30:47] Speaker B: I would say have empathy, get, get to know somebody. I would, I would say get to know somebody. I wasn't a troublemaker kid as much, even though I didn't break a neighbor's roof, I wasn't a troublemaker kid. But there were definitely some other kids that I, that were the troublemaker kids. And there was one one time that I got to know one of them. Turns out the kid was an amazing artist. Amazing artist. He got in the habit of another habit. But he would gift me, like, pencil, the colored pencil drawings. And they were really good. I remember them being very good. Grandma, seven, eight years old. But I knew that when he gave them to me, I appreciated it. And I could tell even at that age, when I told him how grateful I was for it, it lightened him up a bit. [00:31:40] Speaker A: Hmm. [00:31:41] Speaker B: And I wonder what would have happened if I had been his friend a little more, if I had gotten to know where he was coming from. I don't know what happened to him. I just know that this kid was always getting sent to detention. He was always getting told to sit outside. Yeah, because he was disruptive. But I knew that he was an amazing artist. I remember he drew me a picture of a tiger one time. Remember it? I vividly remember it. But I would say, get to know a kid. [00:32:05] Speaker A: I love that. [00:32:06] Speaker B: No kidding. [00:32:07] Speaker A: I love that. All right, so switch hats. Now you're sitting down with young Aaron, young businessman, young entrepreneur, and you want to give him advice about business. What are you going to tell him. [00:32:20] Speaker B: Man? You know, this is kind of a funny question because I would still consider myself relatively new to the entrepreneurial space. Not relatively. I still am new to the entrepreneurial space. [00:32:32] Speaker A: It could be the young business, too, you know, what you encountered. [00:32:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Not, not to discredit myself, I will say that the advice I would give him would be, know your value. Like, like, know your value when you step into the entrepreneur space. And this, this will be a message, a lesson from me to me and me to all of your listeners who are considering the entrepreneurial space. Maybe just starting off in it. [00:33:02] Speaker A: Yep. [00:33:04] Speaker B: If you make the jump from nine to five to entrepreneur in particular, maybe, and maybe I'm speaking for myself, I had this mentality of being the little brother, being kind of everyone's little brother. I'm just here to have a good time. Like, I'm just grateful to be here. The grateful to be here mentality. You kind of have to burn. [00:33:23] Speaker A: Mmm. Love that. [00:33:25] Speaker B: You have to burn that a little bit. If you walk into room saying, I'm just grateful to be here, you will put everybody else on the pedestal above you without knowing that just by you being in the same room as them. Maybe this is an example for me. I showed up to a mastermind event that was invitation only. And it was great. I had a great time. And I didn't really realize until later that just by me being in that room, everyone is going to ascribe a type of authority to me. [00:33:51] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:33:52] Speaker B: I went, but I went in with this mindset that did not reflect being an authority. [00:33:56] Speaker A: Gotcha. [00:33:57] Speaker B: And everyone kind of didn't take me seriously because of it. Hey, I'm brand new. [00:34:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:03] Speaker B: Okay. It didn't really go anywhere, but when I started changing my mindset of stop being a little brother. [00:34:10] Speaker A: Yep. [00:34:10] Speaker B: Stop pretending like you don't have authority or something to offer. [00:34:14] Speaker A: I belong here. [00:34:16] Speaker B: You've cut your teeth. You've done that already. Like, they want to learn from you. Do you understand that? Like, you. You being in that room, you knowing about this event period, means you know something. [00:34:26] Speaker A: Yes. [00:34:26] Speaker B: Walk like it. Stop being a little brother. [00:34:30] Speaker A: Beautiful. Love that. Love that advice. Well, Aaron, I want to thank you, a, for being here, and b, for being. Coming into my life. And I gotta. Again, I gotta thank Nate wild for introducing us. Keep doing what you're doing. You're a wonderful human being, and you are doing wonderful things that are gonna help people in their trajectory towards being the best person they can possibly be. So thank you for doing that. [00:34:53] Speaker B: Thank you so much that, please know, sir, that means the most coming from you because of conversations we've had before and what you're doing right now with the mindful man movement, with your tribal stoic, like, it's really great work that you're doing. It's work that is needed, especially for my generation. I'm on the cusp of 30 years old. I'm a few years out from college, and it's kind of that period where you've had the job, you've gotten a few promotions, you're starting to make adult money, but now you need some guidance going into your thirties about what you're doing with that money, what you're doing with that life. And you think about legacy, like, shocker. Some of these legacies require more than overnight success, right? They require long term work. And if you can start young, you can leave a great legacy. I don't know that. I don't know that unless I'm connecting with people like you. And so, to make a long story short, Drew, the work you're doing is wonderful, and it's needed for this world. And I'm honored to be here. Thank you. [00:35:50] Speaker A: Thank you so much. And I'm privileged to have met you, Aaron. And, again, I'm proud of you and keep doing. You're an inspiration, my friend. [00:35:58] Speaker B: Thank you very much. And, Nate, thank you for this introduction. [00:36:00] Speaker A: Absolutely. Hey, be well, everybody. Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it. I'd like you to answer this question. Are you living the life you want to live, or are you living the life others want you to live? I'd like you to think about that for a second, because I strongly suggest you live the life you want to live. If you want to learn more about what I stand for and my services and how I'm able to help many men get out of their own way, please go to my website at www.prophetcompassion.com. Feel free to also email me at [email protected] I'd love to have a conversation with you. Take care of yourself and choose to write your own story instead of letting others write it for.

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