Episode 41 - Kevin Juza - And We Had Two Losses. But the Last Baby We Lost, a Week Later, My Boss at the Time Fired Me or Gave Me a Demotion Opportunity.

[00:00:06] Speaker A: Welcome to From Caving In to Crushing It, the podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Deraney and I'm your host, Kevin. Good to see you, my friend. [00:00:24] Speaker B: Hey, good to see you. How you been? [00:00:26] Speaker A: I'm doing well, thank you. And I know we got a chance to talk before we hit record. I'm glad your vacation went well and you're nice and refreshed and renewed and ready to go. So I appreciate you coming on after your vacation here. [00:00:40] Speaker B: No problem, Drew. It was great to kind of it's important for all of us to take a break from our real life and just go somewhere else for a couple of weeks and just forget about everything as much as we can and come back refreshed. [00:00:51] Speaker A: Absolutely. And hopefully you can take some of that vacation mode and weave it in as a habit into your real life. That's the challenge in this show. We talk about how life is not linear. I mean, we are told when we're young, if we do A-B-C and D, it'll get us to E. It's a straight line. It's linear. And that's not true. There's always something that's going to come up that's going to pose a challenge for us and shift our direction. And with that, most of us have defining moments. And those defining moments are either recognized and ignored or recognized and followed through or something changes. And so at this point, we are going to get to that point where you're going to explain to us that defining moment you had which made you realize there is a better way to live. And so we're looking to see what that was and how you did it. So reach back as far as you want and think about that defining moment in your life that shaped who Kevin Juza is. [00:01:57] Speaker B: Well, I'm going to go back about 20 no, not 20, about 17 years ago. [00:02:02] Speaker A: That's fair. Okay. [00:02:07] Speaker B: Fast forward. I have awesome twin daughters. [00:02:10] Speaker A: Okay. [00:02:11] Speaker B: I have awesome twin daughters. And so it ends as a positive thing. But 17 years ago, my wife and I got married 23 years ago. And that was a very linear life. Yes, there were bumps in the road, but I just kept moving forward and things just kept progressing like I expected. Became a regional director for H and R Block. I was responsible for five states to 5000 people, huge budget. It was fun. It was easy for me. It was people connection. I loved it. I love what Hrbach did and all that kind of thing. I was in it and I was moving at the right pace. [00:02:43] Speaker A: Right. [00:02:44] Speaker B: And then my wife and I already started family. And this is a sensitive topic. So if there's anybody that has issues with infertility, I do take it very I just want to say it's about that. So if you are connected to that in your life. I don't want to bring up something that you're not ready for, so I wanted to let you know. But my wife and I had infertility problems, and it was hard. You think it's supposed to be easy to start a family because you've been looking forward to this your whole life growing up and getting to that point where you want to have your own kids. And we had two losses. We heard the baby's heartbeats, and we lost them. [00:03:22] Speaker A: I'm sorry, Kat. Wow. [00:03:23] Speaker B: And in that at that point in my actually the best sales job ever did in my life was I sold my wife to move from California to. [00:03:33] Speaker A: Right. Right. [00:03:34] Speaker B: She's born and raised California. We moved to Minnesota. So we're kind of all by ourselves going through this. So it was kind of a tough, tough time for us. Of course, the last the last baby we lost, a week later, my boss at the time at HR Block fired me or gave me a demotion opportunity. [00:03:56] Speaker A: Yeah. Yes, I know those. [00:03:58] Speaker B: And I was like, wait, what? There was no concern or empathy for me going through what I was going through. [00:04:08] Speaker A: Even they were aware of the whole. [00:04:09] Speaker B: They were aware of but she sent me flowers a week before, and they still did that. I was down because you think about I poured my whole heart and my whole professional career into this company. I saw myself someday being the CEO, managing, being that influencer and that leader, and then we go through, and here I am. And I lost Minnesota middle of like so then had Kim basically finished her teaching year, and then we moved back to California. We wanted to get back know it didn't work out, so we just kind of went back. And this was know, trying to find a place to live now in going leaving California is always great. Coming back is financially. So here we're able my wife was able to get back to where she taught, and we basically had one more chance for IVF under insurance. [00:05:09] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:10] Speaker B: And she was reluctant. Hell of a roller coaster. [00:05:15] Speaker A: Of course. Yeah. [00:05:16] Speaker B: And this was the pivotal moment for me. I was like, there's a reason we have one more chance, so let's take it as a blessing and with as much optimism and belief that we can do it. Let's just be more relaxed this time. Less has us. Have fun. She did some yoga stuff. I was doing whatever. Just kind of keep more light heartedness in our we actually bought a house in San Francisco. We got back in, and I got a job too. So we're back off of surfing the sofas for my in laws and family friends and stuff. So we're like, okay, we're going to do this, honey. We're going to think positively. And then on Valentine's Day that year, we found out we were pregnant. [00:06:06] Speaker A: Oh, gosh. Okay. [00:06:08] Speaker B: And so that was awesome. But that's kind of when the mental frustration, fear, stress for us because we've. [00:06:16] Speaker A: Been here before, right? [00:06:18] Speaker B: And so then on Good Friday, which was actually my birthday, we had a sonogram, and they were saying, Your hormones are kind of high. I was like, what does that mean? This is different than what you're talking what are you saying? We think there's twins. [00:06:35] Speaker A: Wow. [00:06:36] Speaker B: And so they saw the Sonic, and we found that we had twin daughters, and they were in the same sack, so we know they're identical. [00:06:43] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:44] Speaker B: But that created some more complications because they were in the same sack. They could swim around and hurt themselves. My wife was on the way of getting through this, and she was bedridden after, like, three months, so she was six months bedridden. And so it was crazy, but out of nowhere, because at this point, Kim didn't want to go back teaching. She wants to take at least some time off. Well, I just had this big mortgage, now over $8,000 a month mortgage in San Francisco. So I went back to the company I was working at after my year. There were supposed to be opportunities for progression, and they didn't give them to me. And so at the same time, fate had it, and I got recruited by a company to move down here to San Diego. [00:07:34] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:07:35] Speaker B: Great promotion. They covered all the sale of my house so I could get out from underneath the I was like, even though it's away from our family again and away from our community of Northern California, but it was in San Diego. Beautiful place. And we moved down here. My wife was still bedridden, sold the house while she was crazy. [00:08:00] Speaker A: Girls weren't born, okay? [00:08:02] Speaker B: They're not born yet. They're not born yet. [00:08:04] Speaker A: These opportunities. Okay, this is great. [00:08:06] Speaker B: So the opportunity came in the middle of the pregnancy, and our doctor was like, Kevin, you can't move her. You need to go down there and go to where you'd have the baby and go look at the NICU and see what a 40 day baby looks like. See what a 50 day baby do. You want to have a baby? That one pound, right? You can't move her at this time, right? And so it got this really fearful and scared. I'm not thinking like that. And we just kind of kept this optimism of what we were doing, and we're just kind of rolling with what was going on. And then we moved down here and the babies I went up there on Labor Day weekend labor Day weekend. [00:08:49] Speaker A: Labor Day. [00:08:51] Speaker B: I drove up there. I flew up there, grabbed her, and put her in her car, and then we just did straight down to San Diego. Nothing happened. And just do it as fast as we can. So we had no problems. [00:09:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:05] Speaker B: So we got into our little house, the little apartment thing. We had for the relocation package, and we got her to San Diego, and then we started to find our house. And then two months later, Megan and Mackenzie joined us in the know. [00:09:22] Speaker A: It's interesting because the fear tactics that are used on us often in many, many different arenas of our life, and it's not like the doctor consciously did a fear tactic. That doctor was probably just going by the book. [00:09:36] Speaker B: Statistically, you got to do that. You got to know options. [00:09:40] Speaker A: Right. But you didn't allow fear to control you. And I think that probably had a lot to do with why your wife was able to conceive and then. [00:09:53] Speaker B: Lucky. [00:09:53] Speaker A: That it came and enjoy life, have fun. The stress level, I'm sure helped. The lower stress level. So happy for you guys and all. [00:10:04] Speaker B: That'S kind of where the name of who I am or what I do as the Tenacious leader, I love it is because you can't give up, right? Absolutely. I did some leadership stuff when I was managing teams, and I always pulled up this video of a guy running in the 92 Olympics and he was supposed to win, and he pulled his hamstring on the back straightaway, and then he got up and had to finish the race. [00:10:34] Speaker A: Right. [00:10:35] Speaker B: And then around the fourth turn coming down, his father broke through and helped his son finish the race. [00:10:43] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:10:44] Speaker B: And so being a Tenacious leader wasn't all about the runner finishing the race. It was his dad dad being there and say, my son's going to finish. [00:10:55] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. Wow. That's a powerful story. And you're right about people think about the runner finishing with the father there to help him help him cross that line. And you knew that you were going to be that type of father for your girls, right? [00:11:10] Speaker B: Yes. [00:11:10] Speaker A: And they're 17 now. So tell me about that shift in mindset, going from believing the fear to conquering the fear, how that helped you as you progressed, a in your career, and B, as a dad and a husband. [00:11:28] Speaker B: Yeah, when I started learning that, basically taking Tenacity and putting it as the verb in my life instead of the adjective to describe the past, I wanted to just own moving forward. And I'm not perfect by any means, but when I know when things aren't working the way there should be or could be or want to, or being on that meandering path getting better, it tends to come back to me getting in my own way, having fear and doubt and worry. And so we are so programmed to have such negative thoughts in our head that how do you really clean that up? And that's my ongoing, everyday kind of goal, is how do I clean my head and just think about what can I do? What's in my empowerment? And it's really me, it's the voice in my head. It's my direction. It's how I want to live my life and be there for my kids right now, as the girls are twin girls, are 17 or about to be 17. I'm not the Superman no more. They made me take my cape off, fold it back up, put it away. Hopefully I'll bring it out someday for grandkids. But right now, I'm just a dad. I'm not a super dad no more, and I have to be there and listen more instead of so it's changing a role in my life that I never really knew to have, but to be a father that wants to be present in their kids life. And absolutely, you have to adapt because there's two different young ladies here, so they're two different approaches, how they're seeing life, too. So 1 minute I'll be over here coaching, counseling. The other one, I'll be listening and not speaking because that's what they both want or need. They just want to know you're there. [00:13:22] Speaker A: That's wonderful. So does that put them in their junior year in high school? Okay. Yeah. My daughter's 17 as well, so I know what it's like to have a 17 year old daughter. It's one of the best things in the world, though best friends. That father daughter relationship. You can't describe it unless you're in it. Right? [00:13:41] Speaker B: Yeah. I think the best leaders are ones that do have families. And I'm biased because I am a father, but you learn the best leaders are ones that the servant leader mentality truly comes from being a good parent. Because you have to serve. You're there taking care of people and you want the best for them, but you can't do it for them. You have to just love them and provide for them. [00:14:05] Speaker A: Right. And also, you have to put your ego aside and realize that you can learn from your children just as much as they can learn from you. I can't tell you how many things I have learned from my three kids because I give them an opportunity to teach me. [00:14:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:22] Speaker A: And I think that's a benefit that some parents many parents don't take advantage of is learning from their children. And people who have difficulty learning from their kids also have difficulty learning in the business world from people younger than they or less experienced. And in my professional life, I've learned a ton from people less experienced than I or younger than I. Everybody has something to offer, and I think that's kind of like what you're explaining right here. [00:14:54] Speaker B: Yeah. When I was at H and R Block, so I was like 24 years old yeah. Managing. My first teams were 70, 80 people, and their average age was 50 something. [00:15:05] Speaker A: Right. Exactly. [00:15:07] Speaker B: I had to learn how to communicate and be also open to their experience, learning from them while I was trying to show them that we can actually grow a business and we can do it all together and creating some unity that they never had before. [00:15:23] Speaker A: Right. [00:15:24] Speaker B: And that was kind of great. But then there's that turn, that pivot, where you're now the older person and now you're being managed by younger people than you or your staff is truly, really younger than you because you're out of college. And how do you adapt and welcome the gen z mentality? The millennial approach of things can really help us understand where we're going. [00:15:52] Speaker A: That's right. You got to be able to adapt to that. And, yeah, if you're in the industry for a while, you are at one point either going to report to or have reporting to you people in different generations. And you got to understand everybody learns differently or was brought up differently, and you have to have an open mind. Absolutely. Question for you, Sydney. When you were a 24 year old manager, I've suffered from impostor syndrome, where you don't feel like you're good enough. Why are they going to listen to me? Did you encounter that feeling sometimes as a 24 year old manager with the average age being 50? That the impostor syndrome. Or did you always have that positive confidence in yourself that you were able to overcome that potential? [00:16:35] Speaker B: Interesting thing, when I was 24, I had no idea what imposter syndrome was. I was the man. I had the vision, the confidence, the communication skills, the charisma. I had vision of what I wanted to do, and I brought people in and they can connect with me. And I think other people that got intimidated by my confidence, right. Because I was so young and having some really good success, but I wasn't aware of that in the moment. But I think imposter syndrome now comes now. [00:17:09] Speaker A: That's what I was going to suggest. [00:17:13] Speaker B: Now it's the part where I'm trying to pivot and create a new life or COVID hit. I was in a corporate role and I was let go a week before it got to be a pandemic. I was free falling. And a friend, a colleague of mine said, why don't you come help me with my consulting firm? And I helped him out, and he's like, you can do this. I'm like, a whole fake it till you make it kind of a thing. And even though I could do it, he knew I could do it. I didn't know do it, and I was full of imposter syndrome. [00:17:44] Speaker A: It's good you had somebody like that who can help you work on building up your confidence. But I agree with you, though. When we're children, we have these limitless beliefs that we can do anything. And there comes a time where somebody says, you're an adult now. In our minds, we're like, oh, boy, I'm an adult now. I can't let that child, the inner child in me, blossom. Which I think that is another myth that we were sold, because that inner child is always with us, right. The one that does the belly laugh and plays the practical jokes and all that, and for some reason we're taught in this country, too, at a certain time. No, I'm an adult now. I cannot do these things. And I think that's what's hurting us, especially for men, because we don't laugh as much as we should, we don't cry as much as we should, we don't tell people our stories as much as we should. And men are dying younger. We need to start releasing some of this garbage inside of us and allow ourselves to live. And I think you exude a lot of that. You can still be that inner child and still be an adult and a good leader. And that has something to do with that tenacity, because kids are tenacious. [00:18:54] Speaker B: They are, and they're fearless. They're fearless. Fearless and tenaciousness together. You can get a lot accomplished with that, certainly, because we were just a friend of mine, a coach, a friend of mine that we were talking last night, and he's like, do you know how many things happened in the Jetsons that are actually real now? [00:19:16] Speaker A: I love watching that show is real. [00:19:18] Speaker B: But that was Jetson virtual doctor appointments. Now, the question came, was it the thought of that movie that made it come true? [00:19:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:33] Speaker B: Was that the spark that took the engineers that says, we could do that? [00:19:37] Speaker A: We could do that. [00:19:39] Speaker B: So I think it is. Everything we see is going to come one day, because we could think about it. When you have that thought, are you tenacious enough, fearless enough to make it happen or to give it a try? [00:19:53] Speaker A: It's true. Everything does start with a thought. That next step is that tenacity or that willingness to actually take action, right? Yeah, it's very true. It's interesting, too, with the whole impostor syndrome. It makes sense that kids don't have that, because when you think about our brain, you have that prefrontal cortex. Right. The part that's judgment and decision making, the thinking part doesn't mature for men until they're about in their 30s anyway. And I think that around 30, that's about right. Around 30 is where we start to say, what am I going to do with my life? And then around 50, you're like, what's my legacy? So a lot of the stuff is science based. Now, tell us what you're doing now. And then I got a couple of questions for you. [00:20:43] Speaker B: Sure. Well, 2018, I actually was in transition, and I actually ran for public office. [00:20:53] Speaker A: You did? All right. [00:20:54] Speaker B: I did. I've always wanted to do it. I remember sitting in my dad's, my parents house when I was right before I left to college. He goes, what do you want to be? I said, I want to be a senator someday. Why a senator? Because that's the longest tenure job you can get. I ran for school board because somebody said, you should try to do this to help the community out. Because I was very active with my kids in school and stuff. And then I ran into a meta person who kind of was a coach and a life coach. And it hit me as like, that's what I do. My success from H and R Block to everything I've done all the way is I always coached people. When I was at Flipping Burgers at Wendy's when I was 1415 years old, I became a shift leader within weeks. You come to be a coach and a supporter. That's kind of what you are. And so I started studying four years ago, five years ago, how to be a coach, and got certified in doing that. And then that consulting process came along. So currently what I do is I help founders who are the number one salesperson who need to scale, and they got to stop selling. And so I help them put in place their sales teams because I love working with the young youth to try to get them ready, because they're the future CEOs. You have to learn how to sell an idea or a thought or a product so you can influence and lead in the future. So I enjoy that chance to kind of help them build their future company by working with that group. And then in addition, I just love coaching like people own franchises. Okay. There's a lot of businesses that are going to be shutting down soon if they don't find somebody to buy them. [00:22:36] Speaker A: Right, that's true. [00:22:37] Speaker B: So you're having a way to build up leadership within their company so they can actually transition it to somebody else in their family or neighborhood so they can keep that business going. So basically, I just love helping help businesses keep going, growing and going. [00:22:53] Speaker A: I love that. I love that because I owned a franchise for three and a half years, and I could have utilized somebody like you coulda, shoulda, woulda. [00:23:03] Speaker B: That's how you learn, right? That's how you learn. [00:23:06] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, a couple of questions. [00:23:08] Speaker B: Sure. [00:23:09] Speaker A: First question is, you're sitting down with young seven to ten year old Kevin. [00:23:16] Speaker B: He's cute. [00:23:17] Speaker A: He is cute. He's saying older self. Kevin, I'd like some advice on life. What are you going to tell young Kevin? [00:23:29] Speaker B: Don't be afraid to start your own business. And the sooner you do it, the better off you'll probably be in the long run. Because my mom and dad, they worked for H and R block. They were 40 plus years, 45 years with H and R block. My dad has the big grandfather clock in his living room for being there for so long. My mom was a tax professional with HR, so it's in my blood. [00:23:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:58] Speaker B: Right. So I was in that mindset, I got to get a job, I got to get a job. And then when I lost that job, I got to get another job. Like security. Safety. [00:24:05] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:24:05] Speaker B: And I wasn't built in a family that was all about you. Create your own security and safety with your own business. [00:24:13] Speaker A: Right. [00:24:14] Speaker B: And if I would have figured that out sooner without fear, build off that tenacity that I talk about now, I think it'd be a very interesting place I'd be living right now. [00:24:24] Speaker A: I love that advice. All right, put on a different hat. Now you're sitting with young Kevin, the young entrepreneur or businessman, and now he's asking for some advice on business. What are you going to tell that young Kevin. [00:24:40] Speaker B: You can't go it to. Even though you were successful in your professional career and you kind of were on your own, leading in front of everybody and driving things forward, when you own your own business, you have to bring people in. You can't do it yourself. You have to have an accountant. You have to have a coach or a business or a mentor or somebody to help you still stay accountable. [00:25:07] Speaker A: Yes. [00:25:07] Speaker B: It's amazing. I always thought my dad would be my business mentor, but now he's like, I don't want to fucking talk that stuff. [00:25:16] Speaker A: That's okay. [00:25:18] Speaker B: I want to talk about my tractor. I'm going to go on a tractor ride next week. I'm going to go to Legion and sell 50. Don't want to talk about business. So I learned that you got to find your mentor. You got to find people that there's a coach out there, Rich Litchman, who says, if you're the smartest man in your room, you're in the wrong room. I love that quote, and I see that now as like, okay, I need to be in the room that has the right people around me to influence me, to keep me. [00:25:53] Speaker A: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. I love that. [00:25:56] Speaker B: That's kind of where we met Drew. [00:25:58] Speaker A: That'S yeah, actually, who introduced, I believe who was it? [00:26:02] Speaker B: Was it Keegan? [00:26:03] Speaker A: Let me see. I think it was like to I've been doing that now, looking up to see who introduced, I think no, it was Kevin. It was Coach Keeg, right? [00:26:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:13] Speaker A: Let me see. Sorry, audience, I just got thanks, Coach Keeg. All right, now the audience has gotten to understand the essence of Kevin Juza, and they're going to want to reach out to you, make it easy for them, tell them how they can contact you. [00:26:29] Speaker B: Just go to you know, that's the best way to there's always that reach out to me thing. There's a calendar in there, too. If you want to just have a coffee with me, that's the best place to go. My contact information, everything's there. It's Kevin at the Tenacious leader. I'd love to talk to people. I love connecting with people and seeing how I can help them, service of them in any way I can. And if they have any questions about sales, life, parenting, I love it. Bring it on. [00:26:57] Speaker A: Beautiful. Well, Kevin, thank you very much. I'm grateful you're in my life and that we're friends and we'll be talking a lot more. Keep doing what you're doing. You're doing some wonderful things and keep smiling and keep being tenacious. [00:27:12] Speaker B: Thank you, Drew. Appreciate the opportunity. [00:27:14] Speaker A: Absolutely. Take care, everybody. Be well. Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it. If you find yourself immersed in adversity and would like to find support from other men in times of struggle, please become a member of my Men's Supporting Men Collaboration tribe by emailing me at [email protected] expressing your interest and I'll get in touch with you. Speak to you soon.