[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: The podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Duraney and I'm your host. Today's guest is Alex Abraham. Alex Abraham has spent years researching, exploring and experiencing firsthand the therapeutic treatment options for healing from childhood sexual abuse, psychedelics and integration therapy forever changed his life. When not educating other survivors about the benefits of psychedelics, Alex enjoys traveling the world and experiencing new foods. A connoisseur of food truck fare, he lives in Austin, Texas. Enjoy the show.
Alex Abraham. Good to see you, my friend.
[00:00:58] Speaker A: Great to see you. I'm so happy to be here. Thanks so much for having me on this morning and I'm really looking forward to talking.
[00:01:03] Speaker B: It's my pleasure. And I enjoyed the last time we spoke. And you know, I always help the guests know why they're here. Number one, I always like to thank the person who introduced us and James Bracken IV introduced us, so thank you. James, why. Why are you here? Well, you know, I. I often talk about how in life when we're young, we're taught that if we do certain things in a specific priority and separate specific steps, that linear path, if we do A plus B plus C, then D is going to happen. People want that for us and for the most part, we believe it and we do what we're told. And for some of our life, life is linear and something happens, it gets in the way and. And our life all of a sudden starts to turn a little bit and becomes more circuitous. There's that defining moment that happens.
I firmly believe, Alex, that there's three types of men out there. You have man number one who's got a lot of blind spots, doesn't notice what's in front of him and. And believes life is designed for him and just lives his life the way he feels he's supposed to, the way others want him to.
Man number two has some heightened self awareness, does notice the adversity, yet he sees himself as a victim. He blames others and life in general and doesn't think he has any control. So he doesn't look to change anything. He's the victim and he blames people and he goes forward in life just with stuff hitting the fan and he doesn't do anything about it.
On his deathbed, he has so many regrets because he knows he could have done something and he didn't. And then there's man number three. Bring on this show and you're man number three. Man number three has a more heightened self awareness than man number two is also sick and tired of being sick and tired. So he sees that adversity and he doesn't see himself as a victim. He sees himself as somebody who says, you know, that's not a barrier, that's an opportunity. It's life doing it for me and I'm going to do something about this, do something different and become stronger if you can, for myself and for the audience. Think back as far as you need to for that defining moment. Whether it was the tap on the shoulder, the whisper in the ear, or like what I needed, the 2 by 4 upside my head that got me to want to change, to move from man number one or man number two to man number three.
What's that defining moment for you, Alex?
[00:03:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I would say for me the defining moment would be the first time I took MDMA assisted psychotherapy was at an apartment in New City. And I think it really kind of opened my eyes to sort of how much anxiety I was carrying, how anxious, how kind of angry and upset I was, and how much I didn't like myself. And I think once I saw that and also saw that these compounds, these psychedelic medicines could help sort of rewire my perspective and change my approach, I think it was a real eye opening moment that I could change, that I could make forward progress, that I could sort of reinvent myself and become a new person. And until I started using these compounds to heal from trauma, I felt very stuck and very kind of limited in who I was. And it both these compounds showed me that real change is possible and that I could become from man number one all the way to man number three.
[00:04:22] Speaker B: Wow, that's pretty powerful. Okay, so let's, let's, let's look at this. So I. Is it safe to assume that you didn't go right from not feeling good to right to psychedelics, or did you try other ways to overcome the anxiety and, and get rid of the trauma or, or take, you know, address the trauma. What did you do prior to the psychedelics? Because I don't think you went right to psych psychedelics.
[00:04:46] Speaker A: Right? I did. I did not. So I started having really bad pelvic floor problems in 2017 after a bike ride. I had no idea what was causing them at the time. And so I started seeing all these western doctors, you know, and they're all like, you know, this is all in your head. Like they did some very invasive procedures, Botox and just sort of other things. And really my pelvic floor was Like a clinched fist. It was, like, very uncomfortable and very tight, and it was hurting my ability to go to the bathroom. It was frankly hurting my ability to get an erection. And it was just very uncomfortable and very upsetting. And I spent years like this. I truly had no idea what was wrong. You know, I knew I was sort of anxious. I tried to do a lot of things like sauna and journaling and kind of meditation and talk therapy and, you know, Valium suppositories, which is, you can imagine, is very unpleasant to insert. And so I try to do all those things. And I saw all sorts of wet doctors around the country, like over 20 doctors. I even moved to New York City to get medical treatment, and nothing was working. And so eventually I decided to try MDMA assisted psychotherapy because. Because I was anxious. And so this is about four years into my medical journey and became pretty clear once I started doing mdma, not the first session, but after a couple sessions that had actually been horribly sexually abused by a teacher. And that was sort of the source of all my pelvic floor problems. And so once I started using these psychedelics to kind of uncover that abuse, I also started using them to sort of heal and sort of reset my nervous system and sort of reset my sense of self. And I think the psychedelics, combined with a strong integration practice of therapy, of journaling, of EMDR of a men's group, have all helped me sort of heal from my abuse and. And sort of move through it and go on to hopefully live a better life than I would have otherwise. Wow.
[00:06:31] Speaker B: So. So it's interesting that it seems like the. The bike. Bicycle accident was like the trigger to the pelvic floor, even though it wasn't the root cause. So quite possibly the trauma of the sexual abuse was the root cause. But it took something like the bike ride to start having you feel physical pain. Is that.
[00:06:51] Speaker A: That's correct. I had no idea I've been abused until I started doing psychedelics. I'd have a lot. I'd have a lot of trouble with sex. I'd have a lot of trouble with women. I had a lot of trouble with self esteem and anger. But I didn't really put all the pieces together. They were just sort of these lingering issues that I had.
And it wasn't until I started doing psychedelic therapy that all these sort of behaviors started to crystallize as what kind of the root cause of all of them, including my physical symptoms. And so. But once I started working through my abuse, that's when I started to heal. And that's when I started to move through those. Those repressed emotions and that repressed sadness and anger and. And try to, you know, be happier and try to, you know, live a more gentler life, maybe.
[00:07:35] Speaker B: No, I get it. I get it. And it's amazing how the human brain will suppress things that happen to us to. It thinks it's protecting us. And so it went down so deep in your subconscious that you weren't recalling it. And. And so tell me about mdma, A, what it is for the audience who doesn't know how it works in the body to release some of this trauma. So you can. You can, A, acknowledge it and B, address the trauma and. And heal.
[00:08:06] Speaker A: Sure. So just as kind of. The brain is always trying to protect you and always trying to kind of push bad feelings, particularly from childhood, sort of to your subconscious, because as a kid, it's very hard to process deep trauma, whether that's neglect, whether that's abuse, you know, whether that's even just seeing traumatic things happening to other people. You know, the human, especially for children, is not wired to do that. So it will literally push that. Those feelings, and sometimes even those memories down to the bottom of your subconscious. And then it just sits there and kind of causes all these problems. You know, the somatic symptoms, you know, IBS and irritable bowel, a lot of chronic fatigue, a lot of those very autoimmune issues, I think, are a real problem. And so what MDMA does is sort of almost tricks your brain to feeling safe, that you can sort of bring those emotions up to the surface. It's sort of a. It's a synthetic molecule. I think it has a plant root, but it is made in the lab. But when you. When you put it with an eye mask and sort of music, particularly in the right set and setting, it can really make your brain feel safe enough to kind of have that trauma come to the surface, and then you can move through it, whether that's screaming, whether that's crying, whether that's literally your body shaking it out like, almost like an animal would after trauma. And I've done all those things or make animal noises, frankly, that sound inhuman, but that is literally, you know, stored trauma coming out of your body. And I think once that comes out, you know, you can sort of like, I used to have a really frozen right shoulder, and now my right shoulder still, and it's still a little tight, but it's much better now. Like I used to. I couldn't raise it over my head, and now I now I easily can't. So things like that because it literally that, that stored process trauma can be let go of.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Now, you know, hearing that from you, I mean, I did. I've been doing a lot of research on why we have physical ailments and I read that 85, about 85% of our physical ailments are due to unaddressed internal stress.
A lot. Because what you said, the subconscious gets, you know, the trauma gets buried in the subconscious and we don't address it and the body finally tries to tell you physically something's going on and you know, and we all try the western medicine and it works for some people. I'm glad you had found that opportunity to, to utilize the psychedelics. How did you learn about what was available out there as far as the mdma? How do you get educated on that?
[00:10:35] Speaker A: Sure, I think I linked to some resources in my book Trauma Next to C, but I think Tim Ferriss, the podcaster, has been real trailblazer on this. He was also unfortunately sexually abused and there's a lot of resources on his website. Another writer, Tucker Max, has a lot of psychedelic resources on his website and I think those two people in particular really helped open my eyes to these compounds and this therapy. And then another book I recommend is called A Dose of Hope by Dr. Dan Engle and that talks all about psychedelic medicine, MDMA therapy, and I think it's a really good resource as well. So I would say those three are some of the best resources for me and kind of ways I was able to learn to educate myself about these compounds and sort of their potential and the downsides and upsides and how they work and really gave me a 360 view of psychedelic medicine.
[00:11:26] Speaker B: Wow, that's wonderful. So, so after you, you utilize the MDMA and this and the psychotherapy, when you were in the city after that, how, how did you main. How have you been able to maintain your strength? Do you have to keep going back for mdma or are there skill? Are there tools and tips to, to maintain or to enhance and thrive?
[00:11:53] Speaker A: So we're almost exactly at the four year mark of my first ever psychedelic MDMA session. And so since then I've done about 20 psychedelic sessions of MDMA assisted psychotherapy, psilocybin, a little bit of LSC and MDMA combined and a little bit of the plant ayahuasca. And I think all those together have really helped me in different ways. MDMA is very different for psilocybin and sort of has different compounds and sort of would be used for different things. And I think those two have been the. The two that have helped me the most, and the two compound I've utilized the most. And so I'm still doing psychedelics every couple months. But you. They aren't really designed to be done forever. It's not like an ssri.
And I will take a long break at some point. I'm not quite there yet. I'm still working through some stuff, but over time, I've done less and less medicine and continue to scale back my medicine, you know, in the years to come.
[00:12:45] Speaker B: Wow. So now it's interesting because I am. I have, you know, a son who's got autism, and, you know, he had used ketamine with a psychiatrist and stuff like that. So I am learning about the psychedelics, the cost of these, since they're not covered by insurance yet, and I hope they will be someday. How does one maintain financial stability? And, you know, it's necessary. It's your medicine. How do you balance that? Because we're struggling on our end with that.
[00:13:16] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm gonna be honest. You know, my parents, they had some issues. And, you know, obviously I was seriously sexually abused by a teach that they trusted, but they have been helping me financially to cover some of these costs. And then I was lucky to make some good investments in, you know, in some speculative assets that have gone well. And so I think those two things together have helped me with the costs. But. But, yeah, I'm going to be honest, healing is not cheap. You know, there's psychotherapy, there's emdr, there's an intimacy coach. I see. I was part of a men's group. I was doing body work. I did a lot of. Yeah, I've done a lot of psychedelic medicine. And so all those together have formed an integration practice for me. And it's very expensive, but I do think in the long term, it's worth it. And, you know, I was really struggling before, and I'm still not doing amazing now, but I'm doing much better now.
[00:14:08] Speaker B: I give you a ton of credit. And. And, yeah, you. There's no one magic pill out there, and you've been able to research and try things that works for you, because there's no one set of things that works for everybody. Right. So you have to investigate, you have to try. And you. You found what's working for you, and I commend you for that. So let's get into your book.
I have a feeling I know what motivated you to write it. Can you tell the audience what's the. What was the motivation to be vulnerable and be authentic and put pen to paper and tell your story in writing in. In hopes to hopefully help others and help yourself?
[00:14:53] Speaker A: Yeah, there were a bunch of motivations at the time. I think some of them have turned out better than others. But initially, you know, I wanted to kind of, I think, as a healing modality for me to write the book and kind of put it all down on paper to help other people and sort of help people that are looking to heal from childhood sexual abuse or other forms of trauma and sort of create almost like a guide or sort of list about how I did it. And maybe they can take things from my journey, incorporate them into their own journey, I think, you know, raising the alarm about my abuser because unfortunately he's still in school now. I did go to the police and I did go to my school system, and it was unsuccessful. And so the hope was that writing the book could help bring awareness to his activity. And then the final thing was the hope that writing this book could potentially help inform what I want to do next career wise and serve as sort of a proof of work and proof of concept that I'm capable of certain things and relatively intelligent things like that. And I think what's turned out to be the case, at least so far, about four months in, is it definitely was therapeutic to write, and I think it has helped other people. My abuser is still at a school now, by the looks of it, and nobody seems super motivated to take a lot of action about that. So we'll see what happens in the future there. And the book has not proven to be helped me much career wise yet, and it might never help me career wise. You know, I think it's a very separate skill set in business versus writing a book. You know, the business world is not, you know, I think most entrepreneurs aren't reading a lot of, you know, memoirs anyway. So I think that that aspect has not proven to be. There's not proven to be much translation there, but I do think it's helped me heal and I do think it's helped other people. And I have gotten a lot of messages about it. So that's been affirming.
[00:16:43] Speaker B: At least tell us the. The name of the book. Do you have a. Do you have a. Do you have it with you? You can show.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: Do I have it with me? You know, I have a bunch of copies in my car. I'd have to look. I don't think I have one in the apartment, but that's all Right.
[00:17:03] Speaker B: I'll put it up on the show notes. But tell people.
[00:17:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:05] Speaker B: What the name of the book is.
[00:17:06] Speaker A: The book is called Trauma and Ecstasy. It's about how psychedelics made my life worth living. And yeah, it came out in December. And yeah, I'm proud of how it's. How it's going. And we pick it up. You pick it up on Amazon is probably the best place. The Kindle version is $4.99. And I'm happy to answer any questions about it, if anyone has any questions. And I do think it can really help people heal from all sorts of childhood trauma and also give more empathy and awareness to what it's like to heal from deep trauma.
[00:17:39] Speaker B: Unbelievable. Unbelievable. So I know the audience has gotten to know you well. I know there's a lot of empathic people out there and a lot of people who are going through similar stuff you're going through that this is important to know. Can you tap into the book and what would be the three key messages that you'd like the reader, if they got nothing else out of it? Three key messages that you think would help them and also give them an impetus to pick up the book and read it? Sure.
[00:18:12] Speaker A: I think the first major message with it, psychedelics can heal childhood trauma and other forms of trauma in a way that no other modalities I'm aware of can. And they represent a huge potential and I think groundbreaking part of mental health or emotional health. And I think they will be one of the positive stories of the century that using MDMA and psilocybin in particular in the right set and setting can help people heal in a way that talk therapy alone can't. My second major message would be that childhood sexual abuse is both, I think, more prevalent than people would like to believe. And it's really horrible. You know, it's. It's a violation of body sovereignty. It really hurts children's self esteem. You know, they think that it's happening to them because of them, and that leads to all sorts of problems, whether that's substance abuse, you know, anger issues, the somatic issues like we were talking about earlier and super debilitating. My hope is to raise awareness about how debilitating, debilitating it is and how common it is. And my third major message I would say, is that I would actually say I have four major messages. Parents, I think, can. Can sort of redeem themselves in certain ways. You know, my mom did not do a great job in a lot of aspects when I was a child. You know, she was not around that much. And she was not super emotionally available for me.
[00:19:30] Speaker B: And.
[00:19:30] Speaker A: And I think that led, unfortunately, to a lot of abuse, although she didn't know it, I obviously no idea. But she was kind of neglectful. And I think as an adult, she's really been there for me and really stepped up and, you know, helped me financially, help me emotionally, help me with a book in terms of marketing it and, you know, paying for it. And so I really appreciate and grateful to her. And I think, you know, there's. I think with parents and children that there's always potential for new narratives and growth and change. You know, both people are open to it. And the fourth major message I would say is that I think public schools are not the right place for a lot of children. And I look at my story both in the fact that, you know, I was serially abused inside the walls of a public school and I. Also the fact that, you know, I went to a public school alerting them about my abuse, and they really chose to do nothing. And, you know, that's their prerogative and that's their right. But, you know, I can't imagine sending my kid to a school like that or any sort of school. And I do think parents are starting to wake up to this fact. If you look at the homeschooling statistics, homeschooling has really taken off since COVID and I think rightfully so. I think it'll be. Continue to be almost an exodus away from these. These schools. And I think that will be really good for children. And I hope my story can serve as a warning of. Of what can happen, unfortunately, in public schools.
[00:20:50] Speaker B: Wow. Those are three very strong messages, and they're worth getting out in the public and not. Not be something that's pushed under the rug. The psychedelics just. And what you said very importantly, is in the right setting and space for the psychedelics, because put in the wrong hands, they can be dangerous. But put in the right hands, the right setting, and done right, they can be miracle workers. So I understand that piece. Absolutely. The school system is a lot to. Yeah, a lot. A lot of changes that need to be made. And. But the fact that parents are aware this stuff's happening, hopefully the people who are perpetrating this stuff are going to be held accountable at some point. So I give you a ton of credit for coming out there and letting people know your story, Alex. And certainly the audience has captured the essence of Alex Abraham, and they're going to want to get in touch with you, Alex. So, folks, two Ways to get in touch with Alex, go to Instagram, Alex L. Abraham.
And the second place you can go is you can email Alex at alex trauma and ecstasy.com and, and you pick up the book on Amazon and then you'll be able to know, be able to know how important it is to reach out to him and learn about this stuff. Education is, is so important now. You know, Alex has that wisdom now in the experience and he's also got the knowledge. So you want to learn. He's a great source to learn from.
So, Alex, I have two final questions for you. All right, I'm gonna give you an opportunity. You're sitting down with young Alex, young 7 to 10 year old Alex, and you want to give him advice about life. What are you going to tell him?
[00:22:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I think 7 to 10 years old was kind of the peak of my sexual abuse. So I would tell him that, you know, in some ways the worst has already happened because, you know, things that things are, will get up from here because it was a very tough first decade for me and I think, you know, I've spent a lot of time paying the price for that decade. But I also say that the resilience and sort of the determination that was built during that period that was very difficult, I think has continued to serve me. So I would simultaneously say that, you know, you're building the character and resilience now for the future and also that things will inevitably get better.
[00:23:15] Speaker B: I love that. All right, switch hats now you're sitting down with young Alex, the businessman, entrepreneur, and want to give him advice about business.
What would you, what kind of advice would you give him?
[00:23:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I would say Rome was not built in a day. You know, I'm a very impatient person and very aggressive person and sort of very hard on myself. And you know, now that I have turned away from the book a little bit in the sense that I'm starting to think about what I'm going to do now. You know, there's like immediately like, how can I make money quickly? You know, how can I build a company quickly? You know, what can I do to sort of jumpstart my career? And you know, these things take time. Like, you know, I think if you look at, there's very few overnight sensations and you know, people spend five to 10 years, you know, honing their craft and building their platform and, and doing all that stuff. And it's sort of a marath, not a, not a sprint. And also part of the, part of the fun, I think, is the journey itself and Having that sense of purpose and sort of passion for what you're doing. So I would say that, you know, rest is okay and Rome was not built in a day. And I think if I do the right things over time, that doesn't mean there won't be setbacks. It doesn't mean it will be linear. It doesn't mean I'm going to get everything I want or immediately or at all. But over time, you know, if the trajectory is positive, hopefully good things will happen.
[00:24:37] Speaker B: I love that. Great pieces of advice.
So where are you now professionally? What are you looking for? What are you looking forward to do? You can mention to the audience and hopefully there's someone out there who can help you.
[00:24:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I was. I am looking to potentially do sales or customer success for. For some sort of fun startup, maybe, maybe remotely. I think my job search has changed a little bit in the last couple weeks, but I'm still open to a variety of things in technology and kind of around sales and customer support or success. So that's sort of what I'm looking at you now. It's something fun, something with people, something where I can sort of, you know, be social and be positive. So that's what I'm looking to do now.
[00:25:22] Speaker B: All right, well, we will spread the word.
Alex, I want to thank you for coming on and, you know, I want to thank you for being who you are and sharing your story because most of us keep our issues within and sharing our story a can help us heal from within and also help others heal, too. So I thank you for being who you are and doing what you're doing, and I wish you the best success in the future. Thanks. Thank you for coming into my life, my friend.
[00:25:49] Speaker A: Thank you, Drew. I'm so grateful to be here.
[00:25:51] Speaker B: All right, everybody out there, please take care of yourselves.
Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it. I'd like you to answer this question. Are you living the life you want to live, or are you living the life others want you to live? I'd like you to think about that for a second because I strongly suggest you live the life you want to live. If you want to learn more about what I stand for and my services and how I'm able to help many men get out of their own way, please go to my website at www.prophetcompassion.com.
feel free to also email
[email protected]. i'd love to have a conversation with you take care of yourself and choose to write your own story instead of letting others write it. For.
