Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:06] Speaker B: Welcome to From Caving in to Crushing it, the podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Duraney and I'm your host.
Today's guest is Bill Walters.
Before I became a financial guru, I cared for my mother through six years of dementia.
Her suffering could have been minimized with proper professional care.
I also spent my fatherhood raising a daughter with emotional, medical and psychological needs. I know what it's like to deal with complicated family needs.
Now I'm on a mission to help families like mine achieve a lifetime of financial stability and solvency.
One of my clients who lives in Texas is a great example. Three years ago at the age of 37, she was given instructions to help her get out of debt. She followed them to the letter of the law and emerged debt free. In just 18 months she was able to move out of her parents home and away from their restrictions and she started her own business. She's now saving for retirement and is on track to have a nest egg of nearly a million dollars in 27 years.
In addition to my experience in finance and management, I have co authored two international bestsellers, the Equation and Cracking the Success Code. I serve on the board of directors for three nonprofits and as fundraising chair, I raised $160,000 during a one night fundraising event.
I also sit on the finance committee for two churches and for 12 years I coach street hockey and individuals on the Special Olympics track and hockey teams.
Enjoy the show.
Bill Walters, awesome to see you my friend.
[00:01:53] Speaker A: Thank you for having me. Drew, It's a pleasure and honor to be here.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: Pleasure is all mine, my friend. Listen, I always want to thank the person who introduces me to my guest and this time it's Priscilla Lito, owner of Mission Kids Success.
Priscilla, thank you so much for introducing me to Bill. I know there was a reason and aside from his amazing financial planning advice, is a wonderful human being. So thank you with that audience knows I always talk about in the beginning how I believe we're taught when we're young. Life is linear. We're told. It's not a malicious teaching. If we do A plus B plus C, D is going to happen and we believe it. And for the most part in our younger lives, life is linear until it's not.
Ultimately an external circumstances is going to get in the way of one of those letters and kind of derail us. We go from a straight path to that circuitous route that we're all used to now, when that happens, adversity shows up.
And there's three types of men. Men number one doesn't even notice the adversity. He's just doing what people are telling him to do, living somebody else's life.
And when he gets on his deathbed with nothing change, that's all.
Then there's man number two. A man number two notices the adversity, yet he's the victim. Everybody else is to blame. Life's doing that to me. I can't control anything. He doesn't change a thing. And on his deathbed, a ton of regrets. And then there's man number three. The man or woman I have on this show, it's Bill Walters. Man number three sees that adversity and says, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
That's not a barrier. That's an opportunity for me to do something different, take massive action and become a stronger man on the other side.
So, Bill, do the audience a favor and reach back as far as you need to for that defining moment, that tap on the shoulder, the whisper in the ear, or like I needed two by four upside my head.
That transformed you from man you were to the Bill Walters you are now.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: So it's kind of a threefold story. Okay?
When I was three and a half, I was born with hip dysplasia. And I dislocated my hips, and in the process of dislocating my hips, the only medicine at that time was bed rest for eight weeks at a time.
And during those eight weeks, you were completely, you know, on your own. You couldn't put any weight, bearing weight on yourself. You had to be carried to the bathroom, and then you had to relearn how to walk. And this process happened to me six separate times where I had to walk, learn how to walk, and get my balance. And so I learned how to read. At a young age, my TVs weren't much of an entertainment. It was mostly reruns, you know, Gilligan's Island, Mikhail's Navy, Hogan's Heroes, you know, and so Beverly Hillbillies.
And so I learned how to read, and I read the encyclopedia. And so that's overcoming adversity. Something was placed in front of you, so you make the most of it.
When my.
When my mom moved into my house, her last six years of her life, my dad was on his deathbed. He grabbed me on the forehand and said, hey, take care of Mom.
Yeah, Dad, I got this. And now he said, no. I said, take care of Mom.
I heard you the first time.
And I didn't know what I was signing up for. I just knew that I was taking care of mom and she wasn't going into a home. Right.
So over the next six years, out of love, I made mistakes. But in the process of making mistakes, I learned a lot. I learned what adult incontinence are embed alarms and fall risk and removing them and medicine allocation and how to hire aids and how to prepare your, you know, taxes and lemonade taxes and, and handrails and lift rails and going on doctor visits and setting up senior trips, etc. And learned all this plethora of knowledge so that when I meet someone, I could take six years of love and learning and reduce to 10 minutes so they don't have to go through and make the same mistakes I made.
Now, as you know, at the same time of this occurring in my livelihood, my daughter was reading at a first grade fourth month reading level.
And when my ex was finding herself, my parents and I took my daughter to a class that was called eye therapy. Now you and I know I therapy back in the day as lazy eye.
[00:07:02] Speaker B: Right, right, right.
[00:07:03] Speaker A: So what her pupils were doing was focusing out and in. So she was reading fine, but she wasn't comprehending. So three days a week she was going for eye therapy for an hour, which is not covered by insurance.
And at the end of the year, or 150 lessons, she retested and she went up seven reading levels in one calendar year, which then led her to have us work on her diet and removing allergens and removing brain fog. And she then went on to college and she took small internships at companies like Disney and Kate Spade. And so it has a happy ending. So now we're going to tie this all together with a bow, right?
[00:07:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:07:53] Speaker A: So when life throws you a curveball, you hit it, but you hit it to right field, you delay your swing and you headed to right field. Right. And.
And you adjust because you're adjusting out of love, you're acting out of love. When I was set on the sidelines and instead of moping, I said, well, at three and a half, let's start reading so I wouldn't be bored. And I continued that process.
And it teaches you to over. When adversity hits your square in the forehead, you adjust. So don't complain, don't blame others.
Take this knowledge that you gained and share it with other people so they get help and they learn as well.
Wow.
[00:08:41] Speaker B: All right, so there's a lot here to unpack. I Want to go back to what dad said to you? Take care of mom.
At the time you thought you understood what he meant. What do you believe that meant?
To the core.
[00:08:55] Speaker A: To the core. He's telling me you don't know what you're saying yes to.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: Okay?
[00:09:01] Speaker A: And it's been hidden from you because I hid it from you. Okay? And you, you don't know what it's been like for us the last 10 years because we put on our best face and you know, we're always here for the grandkids. But now you're going to see the real behind the green curtain Oz moment where we're not as sharp as we think we are and we're going to need your help.
Now, they were there for me when I was three through eight with my hips and carrying me to spots.
So there was never any hesitation of that. I was going to take care of them all right?
It wasn't a matter of being inconvenienced. It was my duty and obligation out of love, not for it. I'm also an only child, but I'm not forced.
Right. So that's what he meant.
[00:09:54] Speaker B: Wow.
Yes. You had that. At the same time, with the divorce and your daughter going through what she went through, hope your ex wife found herself because she left you with a lot, a lot to work with.
So how did you. I, I know you basically at, you know, three years old, you're reading and all this stuff and getting yourself through. It must have been a time where you almost thought, considered yourself a victim. Did you ever hit that dark space, that rock bottom where you almost turned to victim mentality? Or did you always stay steadfast and saying, it's not me, it's.
[00:10:37] Speaker A: I had a heart to heart with the doctor at a young age And I said, Dr. Hoffman, if I listen to you, will I be okay?
And he said, if you mean by okay, you'll be able to walk the rest of your life without any fear, then he'll be just fine.
But you have to listen to me.
I'm a very conservative doctor. He might have used patient, but that's what he meant. He was spot on. I mean, so.
[00:11:10] Speaker B: So that, you know, that's a gift. I don't know if you realize it's a gift that you had early on that you're carrying through now, not playing the victim. Because it's very easy to fall into that. It's very easy to slip into that.
[00:11:24] Speaker A: So yes, it is.
[00:11:25] Speaker B: I'm happy for you for that.
Absolutely.
So dad ultimately passed and you were taking care of mom. How challenging was that, taking care of mom?
[00:11:37] Speaker A: You know, I used to be a physically fit person and I probably have gained since 2015, 30 pounds that I haven't lost.
And it was because that my mom would be waking up every night at 3am and the bed alarm would go off and she was a fall risk and I'd have to help her to the bathroom and then, you know, change her diaper and put her in fresh diaper and then put her back to bed and tuck her in.
So when you have sleep patterns disrupted, you're, you no longer go to the gym and you don't eat properly and you have a tendency to gain weight, no regrets.
And because it was making the golden years for my mom as good as it possibly could be.
So that's, that's, that's what happened how.
[00:12:34] Speaker B: And I give you a ton of credit for that. I know you don't aren't asking for the credit, but some, some children wouldn't do that for their parents. Regardless, how easy was it to find services or help outside of the family, whether it's government, health care, financial help. While you're going through this, how easy was it? How often did people just say, here's all the information in the path to helping you make this easier?
[00:13:02] Speaker A: Bill I did not learn about respite care until after my mom passed. So I went six years without respite care.
You know, it was very difficult. The help came from my church and from people who were looking for work. And they were the ones who were the caretakers.
They chose the hours that they could work. And then we, the members who were there, we found other people that could fill in, in between and they helped with the selection to, you know, to, you know, they would interview them with me at the same time and fit them in.
You know, they're, it was a process and you have to go through it and to create.
I called it a, a bible, but it was a loose leaf notebook that had the day in the life of my mom so that we could look back and we know what she had for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We knew what her pulse ox was, we knew what her blood pressure reading was, we knew what her mood swings were going to be like when she napped, when she awoke, did she go to the bathroom, you know, what activities she did.
And so we had that. So when we went to the doctor's office for either a quarterly visit or a monthly visit, we were able to say, well, this is the charts and we have everything Organized and nothing stood out to us.
Eventually they would just say, you know, summarize the charts because we know you have them and we would give them, you know, the, the answers.
And it made it very simple. Right.
So for us it was more of a game plan out of love. Right. And to just make mom as comfortable she could be because she wasn't irritable and violent and mean. And you know, her, her worst behavior is she like a scoop of ice cream every night before dinner. I mean, that's, that was. If that was being bad, she thought it was being bad. But outside of that, she was easy that way.
[00:15:16] Speaker B: It's. It's heartwarming that you were able to take care of her, man. So how old was mom during this time?
[00:15:23] Speaker A: She was in her late 80s. Late 80s.
[00:15:28] Speaker B: My mother is 88 and thank God right now cognitively sound and physically sound. But what you are talking about now could be me in a few years. So I'm paying very deep attention here.
[00:15:40] Speaker A: I can help you.
[00:15:41] Speaker B: Thank you, my friend.
So mom passed ultimately?
[00:15:46] Speaker A: Yep. In 2021.
God.
[00:15:50] Speaker B: God bless her, man. Memory eternal.
How did you handle the immediate aftermath? Having poured yourself into this so heavily?
[00:16:03] Speaker A: So I got the practice with my dad passing. My dad passing was a lot harder because he was kind of the quiet glue.
Okay. He got my kids to do things that I could never get them to do like rake the ark, pick up the walnuts or pick up the acorns.
He got them to unload the dishwasher. He got like. He got them to do chores. Yeah, Right. And happy to do it with pop up because he's doing it with them. Of course, my mom was more the studious one. So she's the one that did the homework with the kids after school and pick them up, make sure they got their snack before dinner. Even though dinner was going to be at 6.
In her mind they're getting a snack. So every day was a snack. Don't tell your dad. Even though I knew it's a big secret.
So they really spoiled and provided stability in an unstable environment. Right.
And that's really what the gift back was, you know, Christmas, you know, my Christmases were okay.
They were like their Christmases.
It was whatever I wanted times three, you know, there was no limit on what was being spent on the grandchildren, of course. Spoiled beyond belief. Yep.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: Unbelievable.
So how now we talked about you not knowing what respite care was. So this whole self care afterwards.
Who was Bill Walters after mom and dad were gone?
[00:17:50] Speaker A: Someone who understood that you cherish the moment that you had with them, you created great memories and that you wanted to help others transition into that time of caregiving with as much ease and knowledge as possible so they don't make the same mistakes that you made out of love.
And that's whether it's as a parent of a child on the spectrum or, or a caretaker of someone elderly, you want to help them to the highest degree so that, you know, everybody can be the best version of themselves.
[00:18:29] Speaker B: I love that. Now, while this was all going on, what were you doing professionally? What paid the bills for you?
[00:18:38] Speaker A: So I was a financial advisor.
So while this was going on, I was making ends meet by being a financial advisor.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: And now the people who are watching this on YouTube, they'll see you have a shirt on and it says Transamerica on it.
Was that who you were with and are now with?
[00:19:05] Speaker A: I wasn't with Transamerica back then. I was with another company back then.
[00:19:10] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:19:12] Speaker A: But I transitioned to Transamerica two years ago.
Their corporate culture and their values were matching mine. And when I got recruited to move over, I decided to jump ship and join them.
[00:19:28] Speaker B: Yeah, I've heard a lot of wonderful things about Transamerica. And in turn, you have your own business, and I absolutely love. I was telling you before we hit record that, that I trusted you immediately because initially, because it was Priscilla Lito who introduced us. So I trust her. So I trusted you. When I learned the name of your company, that was second reason I trusted you. What's the name of your company?
[00:19:54] Speaker A: It's called Perfectly Imperfect Families, because everybody's family is perfectly imperfect.
[00:19:59] Speaker B: Love that, love that. And, and, and who, or your client base, who do you serve?
[00:20:06] Speaker A: You know, it's kind of diverse. Okay.
So I primarily work with fractionals and CEOs and COOs who left corporate America and have started their own businesses. And that's say 50% of what I do.
[00:20:29] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:20:29] Speaker A: And then 25% of what I do is small business owners. Okay.
You know, less, I, I, you say less than 49 people, but most of the time it's less than 10. That, that type of small and then individual families. So families that have children that are atypical or neurodivergent or, you know, legally special needs, but I don't like that definition. But people.
Yeah, I, I look at it as atypical is, it's probably the kindest way of saying it.
[00:21:02] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:03] Speaker A: Because that child that is atypical really has to adjust to you because you're not on the same level as they are. And they have to slow down for you to learn. It's kind of unique, but you understand that. Yeah. So now and then the last bit is just referrals from friends and family. Like, doesn't matter where they are in their current financial situation.
I've seen it, been there, done there, got the T shirt. So there's no judgment. I meet them at their current state because it doesn't matter how much you save. It's where you save it. It makes the difference. Right.
And there's always time to improve your situation because the best day to do it is today and the next best day is tomorrow.
Right.
[00:21:53] Speaker B: So the audience knows that I have a son who's 23 who has autism Spectrum Disorder. So I'm right now, as we speak, going through this whole, what next?
[00:22:02] Speaker A: What do we do?
[00:22:04] Speaker B: And again, like, like you, nothing was like, handed to me. There was no plan. No plan handed to me for respite care. No even plan about how to help somebody older than 18. Because this country has geared assistance for special needs or atypical from diapers to 18. And once they graduate high school, it's like, okay, go ahead, off to college, get a job. I have such a hell of a time finding the right people to help me guide my son at age, you know, 19 on.
And do you see something changing in this country that are there more. Is there more information available, readily available, or are people still wondering what's next? Where do I go?
[00:22:48] Speaker A: I see that people are made more aware of or being atypical is more common than it was in the past.
But the ability to get help from said government is more and more difficult because either the government employees do not want to work or they're looking for mistakes on your application so that they can deny it.
[00:23:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: So unless you have an advocate who helps you with the filling out of the paperwork, it doesn't really get accomplished.
[00:23:18] Speaker B: Yeah, no, they 100%. I've noticed that in the insurance industry, the health care industry and the government, same type of thing. If you don't cross your T's and dot your eyes. Yeah. You get that denial. And you tend to learn the word appeal very quickly.
[00:23:35] Speaker A: Yes. And the appeal process, it's unfair, but it's true.
[00:23:39] Speaker B: Yeah. So. So what, what can you tell that family that has a special needs child, whether they knew about it from birth or whether they learned about it when he or she was in their young adulthood or youth.
What.
What do you want to tell them about?
Something inspirational, hopefully, or something about them that lets them feel Listened to and important.
[00:24:10] Speaker A: So kind of twofold here. One, that God loves that child from the moment of conception and knows them and cares for them and that they're accepted by him. And number two, that knowing the social aspect of your child, soon to be adult child, can they live on their own? Do they have the social abilities to live on their own? Or do they need to live in more of a protected circumstance, either in a group home or at home?
Getting the action to have guardianship for medical decisions and financial decisions started by the age of 14, so that if it takes time or gets held up in a court system that you still have time to make it official before they turn 18, which is really important.
And to get a special needs trust written. Right. And that trust having inside that trust the ability to have a living trust, which is while you're still alive, while they're still alive a day in the life activity.
And so that they have a budget so that they if they're on receiving state aid or Social Security or health care benefits, those benefits continue.
Okay. And in the ultimate demise of you having a game plan of protection in place prior to that moment so that the best version, as in your case, for your son to move forward so he is protected, so no one takes advantage that you put like a cocoon around him for protection.
Because, you know, my personality is that I want the best version of life possible for him always. Right. And that's the same thing with your personality. And we want to prevent harmful loving people from taking advantage of a situation.
[00:26:19] Speaker B: Absolutely, absolutely. If there was one, speaking financially, a financial myth that you'd like to debunk for the family with children with special needs.
Is there one you can think of?
[00:26:34] Speaker A: Yeah, it's the one where they get a special needs trust and they think it's, that's it, it's good enough.
And then they didn't take it a step further. Like how do I fund the trust?
How do I protect my child?
How much insurance is enough insurance?
You know, those questions need to be answered because there's this thing called a budget. It's a six letter curse word that most people don't follow.
And they live paycheck to paycheck. And so what happens is that they don't follow that budget. And you really need to have one as an emergency plan if something happens to you as the primary caregiver or to the family.
So setting up a budget for retirement, setting up a budget in the ultimate demise of the primary caretaker is giving guidelines on how it should look and Work for the future. And that's really important.
[00:27:30] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you. So, audience, you certainly have captured the essence of Bill Walters and you're going to want to get in touch with them. Best way to get in touch with Bill, go on to LinkedIn.
There's Bill Walters. You'll find him. Or go to his website. And I Love it. Perfectly imperfectfamilies.com it is dot com, right?
[00:27:49] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:27:50] Speaker B: All right, go to the. It'll. You can get in touch with them through there. But Bill's a wonderful person and, and it's just, it's definitely a blessing for me to be in his life. And I got two questions for you, Bill, to end this. You ready for these? All right.
[00:28:06] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:28:07] Speaker B: Give you the opportunity. Use your imagination. Think of your happy place. And you're sitting down with 7 to 10 year old bill Walters and you're going to give him advice about life. What are you going to tell him?
[00:28:20] Speaker A: So I do this exercise a lot and so don't let your imagination ever stop.
Okay? Imagine daydream.
Focus.
You know, it's okay to paint a zebra orange and blue. Okay. It's okay. It's okay to color outside the lines. Have fun, enjoy life.
Stop and smell the roses. Okay. That's what I would tell.
[00:28:55] Speaker B: I love that, Bill. All right, switch hats. Now you're sitting down with young Bill, the young businessman, young entrepreneur, and you want to give him advice about business. What are you going to tell him?
[00:29:05] Speaker A: Do something that you love and make sure you always do the right thing and everything else will take care of itself.
Meaning operate from the heart, put yourself in the other person's shoes and do what's best for them, not what's best for you or your quota or, you know, do what helps the other person because in the end they're going to be happy. They're going to refer you to other people and they're going to become friends.
And you want to surround yourself with people that you like because you're going to interact with them. If you don't get along with someone, take that as a personal front on your end. You probably did something wrong, don't blame them and just work with people you enjoy working with because it'll be fun.
[00:29:53] Speaker B: Love it. Beautiful advice.
Well, Bill, I want to thank you for coming on. Thank you for coming into my life. My friend, please continue to be who you are. You're a wonderful human being. You're doing wonderful things to help others. Keep it up.
[00:30:07] Speaker A: My friend, thank you so much for the opportunity to be with your friends and audience. I'm here to help and make a difference. And remember one thing, you can attain greatness in life until you heal from within. Right? You heal yourself. That love comes out, people see it and they then they want to interact because you're, you're coming from a heart centered approach.
[00:30:33] Speaker B: Very true, very true. Thank you for sharing that everybody out there. Please take care of yourselves.
Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it.
I'd like you to answer this question.
Are you living the life you want to live or are you living the life others want you to live? I'd like you to think about that for a second because I strongly suggest you live the life you want to live. If you want to learn more about what I stand for and my services and how I'm able to help many men get out of their own way, please go to my website at www.prophetcompassion.com.
feel free to also email me at drewrophetcompassion.com I'd love to have a conversation with you.
Take care of yourself and choose to write your own story instead of letting others write it for you.
