[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign, the podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Duraney, and I'm your host. Today's guest is Chris Catania. Christopher d. Catania is 63 years old and president of Catania Design Concepts Incorporated. He is a digital marketer. Enjoy the show, Chris. Good to see you.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: It's good to see you too, Drew.
[00:00:38] Speaker A: I'm thrilled you're here, Chris. And, you know, I. I always, you know, let the guests know why they're here. And, you know, I always have three criteria having people on the show. It's, you got to be a good human being. Number one, you got to be somebody who's gone through something big in life who hasn't. But more importantly, I want people on who have done something with that adversity and after they came through it and thrive to pay it forward and share the story so others can benefit and get better.
And I always also like to highlight how my guests and I met.
And usually I can give an individual person and say thank you to so and so for introducing us or I met so and so at a networking event. You're in. My relationship, I feel, for me, at least, is very unique because, yes, you can meet people on LinkedIn, you can meet people through Instagram, through Facebook. Well, Instagram is how we met, and it was an indirect way. My son, who's 22 years old and he does have level one autism, stumbled upon one of your posts about your daughter and not having sneakers. And we'll get to that story later on, and I'll share your Instagram handle because your stuff is great, but my son shared it with me and said, dad, you gotta. You gotta, you know, read this post or this. And his intent was just for me to read it and enjoy it. When I told him I reached out to you to get to meet you and have you on, he was like, I didn't mean for you to do that. He was a little embarrassed. I'm like, don't be embarrassed. This is a great thing that you did keep doing. I don't want him to stop. Sharon.
[00:02:29] Speaker B: Absolutely. That's great.
[00:02:32] Speaker A: So. So, Chris, you know, in life, when we're growing up, we're told life is linear, and it's with the best intentions. Our family wants us, wants it to be linear so it's easy for us, and they're praying it'll happen. And for the most part, in the beginning of our life, life is linear. We do a Plus B, plus C and D happens over the long haul, though ultimately life is linear until it's not.
Life happens. External circumstance comes along and gets in between one of those letters and kind of derails us.
And it's. It's a. Those external circumstances, those challenges are always good for us because they, they help us determine our level of self awareness.
And in my view, there's three types of men out there. There's man number one, who's got a ton of blind spots, doesn't see anything, is just living his life the way he's always been and nothing changes. And then there's man number two. Man number two has maybe a fixed mindset, but somewhat has a little bit of a higher level of self awareness and notices that this stuff is happening, yet thinks this hap stuff is happening to him. He's the victim, blaming other people. Life sucks that life's happening to me. I'm just gonna. It's the cards I was dealt. I'm just gonna live life this way. And he does, and nothing changes. And then there's man number three and Chris, your man number three. And that's another criteria that I mentioned of people I have on the show. Man number three has more of a growth mindset, notices that adversity, and finally says to himself, chris, this is a bed. There's a better way to live. This is life doing it for me. This is an opportunity for me to make a difference, make a change and become a stronger man. And that's you.
So what I'd love for you to do for the audience is to reach back as far as you have to go and grab that defining moment, that tap on the shoulder, the whisper in the ear, or what I needed five years ago, two by four, upside the head. That got you to that point where you said, enough's enough. I'm sick of this. I'm making a change. I'm making a difference. Can you share that with us?
[00:04:50] Speaker B: Sure. Be happy to.
I'm 63 years old now. I'm one of six children, had incredible parents, most loving family.
I miss them dearly, and they were incredible. But what comes to mind when you ask the question is when I was in my late 20s, my father had a heart attack.
It was pretty devastating. And at the time, I'm the fifth of six. My younger sister and I were the only two at home. So we went with my mother to the hospital and they had done some tests and whatnot. And the doctor said to my mother and my sister and I, through the course of our testing, we discovered that your father has a massive tumor behind his heart and it's inoperable. And, you know, he probably doesn't have much more time to live. And we all just looked at each other and were just devastated. And the doctor said, I'll excuse myself. I'll give you guys some time to talk. Doctor walked out of the room. My father, who was an amazing man, looked at my mother, my sister and I and said, bullshit. And I just. I could just feel the weight come off my shoulders. And. And that's the way my father was. Within two days, he had found a heart surgeon at Mass General. We live outside of Philadelphia.
This practiced chest took the tumor out. My father lived another 25 years.
[00:06:18] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:06:18] Speaker B: And it was just that attitude.
I think if you ask any of my sisters or brother, they would agree that he just. His can do nothing based. You know, he'd get hit with horrible things. And I would just say, okay, let's. Let's figure out how to fix it. Okay? He. He was just amazing that way. And, and so I, I think even, you know, in my early 20s, it just dawned on me that he was the rock for our family. And yes, if I'm blessed to have a family, I've got to be the same kind of guy.
[00:06:53] Speaker A: Wow.
Wow. So he, I mean, he, he right there taught you about man number three, that age you can be man number three. And, and God bless him.
What a great one word. Wow.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: It's. It's a. I, My, My kids tease me because I tell that story often, but I just.
[00:07:17] Speaker A: Well, you know what, though? What you've done, if you've. You've passed on your father's legacy of the can do attitude, nothing's going to stop me onto your children.
And they knew they knew him, right? Did they, did they know him? Did they, did they meet him?
[00:07:32] Speaker B: Two older children did. Unfortunately, my youngest didn't, but she certainly hears plenty about him. So.
[00:07:38] Speaker A: Okay, that's great. And then those stories continue to tell them because it will strengthen their knowledge about him and then they'll feel it in their heart. You know, I love that story. Thanks for sharing that, man. I mean, that's a vulnerable. Definitely vulnerable to share that, but it's what people need to hear because there are people in our lives who can impact us tremendously. And we have the choice whether we accept that positive impact or we let it go, don't notice it again, that's the different type of man, depending on our level of self awareness and our readiness to receive that Information.
So with that early knowledge that life doesn't have to put limitations on you, what did you do with that knowledge? What happened after all this?
[00:08:26] Speaker B: Well, I finished, I finished out college and I went into the family business.
[00:08:31] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:35] Speaker B: My father actually was, was an attorney, but.
[00:08:37] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:39] Speaker B: We had a real real estate brokerage as well. And I went into the real estate business for a while and.
[00:08:44] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:44] Speaker B: Didn't love it. But my grandfather was in the construction business and always found that fascinating. So I moved into the construction.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: A number of homes in the area and it was good.
[00:08:57] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:08:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:59] Speaker A: I like, you know, that, that connection though, it's interesting. You got the, built the homes that are already built that you're trying to sell or buy or the ones that you're building and you still can tie each into the other. I'm sure, you know, I'm sure that's, that's how it could have worked out. Right. With the grandfather's business tying into the real estate business.
[00:09:17] Speaker B: Sure. Absolutely.
[00:09:18] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:19] Speaker B: It was a great, great experience. I still am in construction and still are.
[00:09:24] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:09:25] Speaker B: Although I'm getting way too old to.
[00:09:27] Speaker A: Be doing it, but it is a lot. It is a lot. Yeah. So, so that, that industry, very stressful. Correct.
What, what have you done for yourself as far as self care goes in that industry? Because I do know that I've looked into the top like 10 industry or professions that have the highest suicide rates and I know contractors and construction. That's pretty high up there. What have you done? You maybe can help people who are in the industry who are listening to take care of yourself to. I mean, you're still young, you're 62, yet you made, you made it that far and some haven't. How can you do to help? What can you say to help them again?
[00:10:10] Speaker B: I'm blessed with a great family.
Talk to my brothers and sisters and, and you know, they're very supportive and, and, and I think that means everything when you have an, an avenue where you can let things out, it just, it just makes a wonderful difference.
[00:10:33] Speaker A: It does, it does.
[00:10:34] Speaker B: It's, it's. They're not judgmental. They just, you know, say, hey, I'm going through this. And they'll say, you know, well, at once we take walks together sometimes and it's just really nice, you know, I love that.
[00:10:44] Speaker A: I love that.
Thank you for sharing that. Because I'm a big data person, I like to research the data. So I'm not just reading headlines. I know the data and, and I like to tell, tell a story with the data that kind of is meaningful to people. And one piece of data which just brought you brought to mind is that 85% of physical ailments that happen to us are attributed to unaddressed internal stress.
And for men especially, because we're conditioned not to cry, not to show emotion, not to ask for help, we in essence choose to suppress toxins in our body that are usually released through tears or released through asking for help or sharing stories. And in essence, we're causing ourselves to die younger. So your advice of surrounding yourself with people who are nonjudgmental, who you can share vulnerable your, your emotions with, you're able to release those toxins and give your body a chance to heal itself. And that's one of the things I, that, that you're going to now when people hear this, start doing this, everybody find the right people and let it out. Because you keep this stuff in. You're going to, you're going to die young. That's the honest truth. Younger than whoever intends for you to A lot younger than you when you're supposed to.
[00:12:07] Speaker B: So does, you know, good. That's for sure. It's, I think the other thing is, is just getting, I get, I attribute this to my father. I don't know how we do it, but I'm able to sleep. Owning your own business, I hear a lot of folks say. Yeah, they're constantly. And you have to be able to shut it off and just get sleep. You know, it's. No, it's easier said than done, but.
[00:12:27] Speaker A: Well, all right, it is easier said than done. And I've had, I'm getting better sleep the last couple nights, but, you know, I hadn't for about a week and I, why? Because I, my daughter, I had to send her to college, bring her to college, and so she's there for a summer start. Yeah. So that I know that was why. So tell me, do you have certain things that you do to get yourself ready to be able to get a good night's sleep? What do you do to be able to shut it off? Because that's something people would love to learn.
[00:12:56] Speaker B: Actually, Drew, at 63, I'm exhausted by everybody.
[00:13:00] Speaker A: So there it is, guys. Just, just be, just be exhausted.
[00:13:04] Speaker B: I, I, I honestly, I don't have a routine. It just, I, you don't then just pass out, so.
[00:13:09] Speaker A: Well, there's got to be something if you're able. Are you like, are you able to turn off the stressors from work when you go home and with the family?
[00:13:21] Speaker B: Yeah, that's an interesting point. Yeah.
[00:13:22] Speaker A: All right. So that, that will help your sleep. So how do you do that?
[00:13:27] Speaker B: I.
From early on, I've been able to just sort of say, okay, thinking about, you know, the problem's going to be there tomorrow, regardless.
[00:13:35] Speaker A: So good.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: Somehow I'm able to just convince myself that it's not worth keeping myself awake at night.
[00:13:45] Speaker A: That's another important thing, Chris, because most people do not realize that we control our thoughts.
The thoughts come in from past experiences, and most, a lot of them are negative. Our brain does like to grab onto negative stuff. If we know we have those thoughts, we can turn them off, we can change them, we can change the script. And that's what you do. You're changing that recording in your brain, telling your brain that you're the boss and saying it's off. So, God, there is something to that. You know, basically only 5% of our brain activity is conscious. The rest is all subconscious. So what you're doing in that moment, telling your brain to cut it out, that you're shutting it off, that you can't control it, right now, it is actually doing something to the brain and during that conscious moment. And the more you do that and create a habit that goes into your subconscious behavior.
So that's a lesson that Chris just taught you guys that you probably didn't expect to learn today.
So I know, just because of the whole Instagram thing, that you're a single father and, and I'd like you to share with the audience that journey and what inspired you to start on Instagram, because single fathers raising kids is your handle on Instagram.
How'd you get there?
[00:15:14] Speaker B: Well, I.
There's always something that to talk about.
I, I, again, growing up in a.
I, we were pretty sheltered as kids. We didn't, you know, we didn't realize a lot of the things that go on in the world. And my marriage, my wife had some mental issues, and I just, I had never experienced anything like this. And it got to a point where we got divorced. The police actually had to take her out of the house. And I got custody of my daughter, who was nine at the time. And it was tough.
It was tough because the woman I married was wonderful and she refused to take her medication and things just went south from there. And no matter how much we tried to convince her and she been committed a few times, and she just refused to take the medication. So.
So my little girl and I, we had to move from a big, beautiful home that we, I had built and into a much smaller home and it was tough, but I was amazed to see how a 9 year old could adapt the way she did. And I'm proud of, and still am fairly proud of her for that.
[00:16:39] Speaker A: Right.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: But it was during COVID and construction business was tough and so I, I realized I had to do something else. I, I needed another source of income. So I started, I searched online and, and I discovered business that I wanted to go into. And so I, I knew nothing about creating content or any of that stuff, but I learned pretty quickly and, and I, I grew my following and, and hopefully it's gonna make it so that this 63. 63 year old bald guy could retire soon and just hang out and. You know, ideally, what I'd like to do, Drew, is, Is. Yes. Is I have, you know, all the tools and the equipment. I'd like to do something safer like Habitat for Humanity, something where, yeah, if I retire, I'm going to die, but if I, you know, trying to do my. Yep.
[00:17:51] Speaker A: Yeah, okay. Yeah, we froze for a little bit. We'll, we'll fix that.
So you'd love to be able to. If you retired, you'd think you'd die. So you want to do something for Habitat for Humanity? Maybe build, build some homes for people?
[00:18:04] Speaker B: Yeah, it'd be great. I met some guys around here that are doing it. It just seems like it's a, it's a great thing and they seem really fulfilled from that, like, to do something like that. So.
[00:18:16] Speaker A: Wow, that'd be wonderful. And, you know, I want to thank you for being vulnerable. I know it's difficult talking about the divorce and, and, and what happened.
You came out of it strong, proud of you. It's a big testament to you how you raised your daughter for her and be proud of her for being who she is.
That certainly leads us into, and you mentioned the Instagram. I want to lead to, into my son stumbling upon one of your posts. And I want you to tell that story.
So when my son came to me, he didn't even come to me. He just like, sent me, like, shared with me a post on Instagram and I went over to it, looked at it, played the video. I'm like, this is pretty cool. It was some guy named Christopher Catania who I didn't know and my son didn't know, but it was a whole thing about his daughter, him not being able to buy his daughter a pair of sneakers. So I'm not going to give the story away.
I'm going to want you to tell the story. But the funny thing about this is. My son just shared it with me because he thought it was touching.
My son's level one autism. He's highly cognitive, but he's socially and emotionally delayed. But he's a sensitive kid, and he saw this, he wanted to share with his dad.
And I watched the video and it touched me.
So I felt compelled to reach out to Chris and introduce myself and tell him my son shared the video with me and I'd like to meet him. So we did a zoom thing, and then I asked him to be on the show. When I told my son that he got embarrassed, he goes, you were supposed. That's embarrassing. You reached. It's all right, it's all right. Don't stop sharing me stuff like that. This stuff can help people. And thank you. So he understands now. So I'd love you to share that story. It's going to impact a lot of single fathers.
[00:20:07] Speaker B: Sure. Sure.
It was a few years ago, my daughter wanted to join the cross country team in the middle school. And she. My. I have three children, two grown now. They all call me Papa. And they. She said, papa, I need this pair of sneak. I need this pair of runnings.
[00:20:28] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:20:28] Speaker B: And it's like, honey, that, you know, I looked and I said, you know, I'll take you out to the sporting goods store. We'll take a look. But I. I really can't afford it right now.
She said, okay. So we went and looked, and on the way home, I happened to get a phone call, and it was one of my sisters. And I told her what was going on, and she said, what. What size shoe does she wear? What shoe is it? And I gave her all the details. And a day or two later, she called me and she said she works for a local university. She said Nike just became our sponsor and we were given some allocation for shoes. And. And she actually got my daughter the pair of shoes.
[00:21:11] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
[00:21:12] Speaker B: Which was amazing. And. And.
And. Well, I don't know if I mentioned this to you before, but what was really even more wonderful for me was my daughter, who I guess she was maybe 10 at the time, 10 or 11. She wrote a thank you note without me pressing her, which was really great. And it just one of those moments as a father where you think, wow, I must have done something right there.
[00:21:37] Speaker A: So, of course.
[00:21:38] Speaker B: And. And the rest of the story is really, she didn't last long on the cross country team, but she got the sneakers.
[00:21:46] Speaker A: So that's a. That's a beautiful story. There's so much in there. Chris and thank you for sharing that. The, the, A, how close you are to your sister and B, you shared the story and you shared the story without any expectation of receiving anything.
And, and I think that's the best lesson is to just share or do or give without an expectation of receiving anything. You never know what's going to happen. And for like what are the odds that it will be that sister you speak with, whom you speak, who happens to work for a university. And the timing of the sponsorship, and not just the timing of the sponsor, the industry the sponsorship was in, which happened to be the same. I mean, I mean really, I mean, those stories mean something because it means there's something bigger than us out there.
And when we feel we're in a position of hopelessness, we need to reach inside and realize that we're not alone. And I think that's the bigger message that you're really telling all of us now. And I thank you for bringing that up.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: Sure. Yeah, you're right.
It's so important to talk to folks. I didn't do it always, I think later in life, but it's. And actually, you know, I mentioned that I do it more with my 13 year old than I did my older two children and I regret that. It's right talking to them, but listening to them. Right. Because you learn so much. You know, it's dinner time. It's now it's just my daughter and I and I hear it every day what's going on at school point where I just want to put a bag over my head.
[00:23:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I know, I know this. I don't need to know, but at.
[00:23:46] Speaker B: Least I hear it. I hear other parents say they don't tell me anything and it's so, it's. I'm happy for that.
[00:23:52] Speaker A: Absolutely. That's a gift. That's a gift, Chris. And then I think parents listening need to realize that when your kids come and talk, speak with you, regardless of the topic, the tone, the information, all that we need to embrace it as a parent because there's so many parents out there who react in a way that makes the kids not want to talk to you, not feel comfortable. And as a parent, just think about the opposite. If your kid doesn't talk to you, you don't know what's going on, then something happens. I mean, it's the worst feeling.
So, you know, embrace what you learn from Chris and embrace when your kids do come to you with, no matter what it is, listen, listen and don't.
[00:24:34] Speaker B: Try and fix it.
[00:24:35] Speaker A: Yeah, we're Not. We don't have to be fixers as parents. Sometimes we just have to be sounding boards.
[00:24:42] Speaker B: Listening sometimes does fix it.
[00:24:44] Speaker A: You're right. Listening does. And that's why God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can listen twice as much as we'd speak. Oh, my goodness. So, Chris, with all you've learned and all you've shared with us, I know you're working in construction now. What. What. What are you doing now to help others transform their lives?
[00:25:09] Speaker B: Well, again, I guess that gets back to my. My online business.
I'm just promoting a mentorship that. That's really been helpful for me. It's.
It's helped me grow my business tremendously.
I'm hoping it'll help me retire sooner than later.
[00:25:27] Speaker A: All right, you know what? Now. Now is a perfect time to do this then, because, audience, you've definitely captured the essence of Chris Catania and reach out to him on his Instagram handle at Single Fathers Raising Kids.
That's it.
[00:25:43] Speaker B: That's.
[00:25:43] Speaker A: That's the thing at Single Fathers. Single father. Single.
[00:25:48] Speaker B: Single father Raising Kids.
[00:25:49] Speaker A: Single father Raising Kids. That's the handle on Instagram. Tell us about the mentorship. This whole.
[00:25:59] Speaker B: It's been really interesting. It's, you know, they say you follow you. If you want to do something, you follow someone who's doing it really well and make them. And. And this. My mentors. He's just amazing.
He's. He's started out living in a basement, you know.
[00:26:20] Speaker A: Oh, wow.
[00:26:20] Speaker B: Okay. Sort of grew. He lives in Dubai now. He's actually. It's been quite a story over wow period. So I don't, you know, I'm just really happy with.
With the way it's going, and it's. It's been a tremendous experience for me.
[00:26:36] Speaker A: Well, how does it, how does it work now? Like, do you mentor others? Like, how does.
[00:26:43] Speaker B: Not at this point.
[00:26:44] Speaker A: Okay, so what's the. Is a program, like, up and running yet that you're trying to build?
[00:26:50] Speaker B: It is.
[00:26:51] Speaker A: It's. Okay, Well, I want to promote it right now. I want to hear about. I want the. If. If you're ready. Are you ready to talk about it?
[00:26:58] Speaker B: I think at this point, the best thing. If they just check out my. My page on Instagram.
Kids. That's the best.
[00:27:07] Speaker A: Okay, so the info. Okay, good that guys do that. Because if you want to learn more about it, it's evolving, it's developing, and if you all go to it, hopefully you can help Chris grow it and get it up and running. That. That would bet that would help, right?
[00:27:19] Speaker B: That'd be great. Okay.
[00:27:21] Speaker A: Awesome, awesome, awesome. All right. So, Chris, I have two questions for you. Give me the opportunity. Right now you're sitting down with young 7 to 10 year old Chris and you want to give him advice about life. What would you tell him?
[00:27:37] Speaker B: I would tell him question value.
[00:27:53] Speaker A: You know, he's not going to listen to you. You know he's not going to listen to you, nor do you want him to because you wouldn't be who you are. But if you did want Advice As a 7 to 10 year old, what would you love to hear?
[00:28:03] Speaker B: I think it's just how important your family is, you know?
[00:28:05] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:28:06] Speaker B: You know, don't tease your sisters and, you know, it's, you know, it's something. They're going to be your best friends, you know.
[00:28:14] Speaker A: That'S great advice. That is great advice, Chris.
[00:28:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I guess.
[00:28:20] Speaker A: Okay, we'll go, we'll go with that. Great advice.
You never know who's going to be there for you, so be nice to them.
Okay, next question. Different hat. You're now sitting with young Chris, the young businessman, young entrepreneur, and you want to give advice about business.
What advice would you give him?
[00:28:39] Speaker B: Trust your gut.
[00:28:41] Speaker A: I love that.
[00:28:42] Speaker B: So let people piss on your parade. It's. I've had so many times where people said that that won't work, this will work. And it has. And I just, I. Again, it goes back to my father. It's just, you have to, if you believe in yourself, keep, keep fighting because it'll, it'll work.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: I love that advice. And you know, Chris, that advice is Perfect for Life 2. It's, it's not just business that you gotta trust your gut, Trust yourself, believe in yourself.
Because that helps you surround yourself with the right human beings.
[00:29:19] Speaker B: Absolutely right.
[00:29:21] Speaker A: And, and then, and then when you're surrounding yourself with the right human beings, it helps you make the best decisions for yourself. So great advice both ways. Well, Chris, I want to thank you a for coming into my life. Thank you for putting that post up on Instagram, because if you didn't, my son wouldn't have seen it. Thank you for being who you are, wonderful human being. And thanks for doing what you're doing.
I will pray that your mentorship program explodes in a good way. And just like your mentor. Mentor has touched your life in such a positive way that you will do so for others and are doing so for others. And we'll pay it forward, my friend.
[00:30:01] Speaker B: Thanks, Drew. It's been a pleasure meeting you. And, and thank you.
[00:30:06] Speaker A: I certainly will my friend. All right, everybody, take care of yourselves.
Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it. I'd like you to answer this question. Are you living the life you want to live? Are you living the life life others want you to live? I'd like you to think about that for a second, because I strongly suggest you live the life you want to live. If you want to learn more about what I stand for and my services and how I'm able to help many men get out of their own way, please go to my
[email protected].
feel free to also email me
[email protected] I'd love to have a conversation with you. Take care of yourself and choose to write your own story instead of letting others write it.
[00:31:04] Speaker B: For.
