Episode 104 - Tim Croll - Redefining Success: Tim Croll on Overcoming Setbacks, Emotional Intelligence, and Building Purpose-Driven Connections.

[00:00:06] Speaker A: Welcome to From Caving in to Crushing it, the podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Durany and I'm your host. Today's guest is Tim Kroll. What does Tim Kroll do as a business development coach? Tim teaches business leaders and entrepreneurs to develop plans and business models so that they substantially increase profits and are able to scale their business to a seven or eight figure level. He helps business owners achieve this within 60 days using a custom tailored business strategy that takes into consideration the unique qualities each client brings to the table. How he does it Tim provides a done with you coaching service that fuses private and group coaching for leadership members within companies earning $500,000 or more in annual revenue. He shows them how to turbocharge their business sales, leads and revenues using proven digital marketing techniques. Where you've seen Tim leaf to fire get app Sunfrog and Living Fresh What Others say About Tim Tim was an incredible resource and wealth of information. He totally helped me push my first online project over the finish line. We've been growing in revenue ever since. Major kudos to Tim Shoebox Moses Tim Kroll has an extremely unique skill set that allows him to see exactly how to grow a small business. When we did our first whiteboard session together, I was blown away at his ability to take complex tasks and make them simple and clear. Joshua Latimer Quick Talk Podcast Tim Kroll is the man. And I don't know that term. I don't throw that term around loosely. Tim very quickly helped me gain clarity in my business goals as well as some personal goals. When I decided I wanted to start my own business, I was lost in a Google field sea of marketing strategies and business ideas. Tim helped me focus on what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it with a perfect mix of encouragement, wisdom and honesty. He helped me work through some big personal and business challenges over a relatively short amount of time. I now have an amazing business that I am building and I owe a lot of that to Tim. Chris Swan Sole Motivation Records Enjoy the show. Tim. So good to see you my friend. [00:02:30] Speaker B: Hey man, I am really glad to be here. I gotta hit the okay button to make sure I'm okay to record. [00:02:34] Speaker A: All right. All right. So you know, I've been looking forward to this because I know we've, we've known each other for about a year, a little over a year now. And you know, when I, when I saw you were coming up I'm like, it made me smile, no joke. And I know we reached out to each other via LinkedIn messenger to confirm and everything and I was like, this is going to be cool. And I want to thank, I always thank who introduced us. Now we were on a shared connections networking event when we met and since there are three co creators of that, I want to thank them all. So I want to thank. It's Jeff Lord, right? I got that right. Joe Kasachio and Christopher Pry. I want to thank you three guys for introducing Tim and me through shared connection. There is a reason why people meet and it's a higher power. And again I thank you guys. [00:03:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:22] Speaker A: Him. A few reasons why I wanted you on number one. First criteria is you have to be a good human being and you fit that bill right away. Second is you have to have gone through something in life and made it through and willing to share and share with others, to help others. And there are a few more reasons. But I often talk about how when we're born, we're taught from our family and it's not malicious, that life is linear. [00:03:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:47] Speaker A: We're told they try to protect us and they're hoping it happens, that if you do A plus B plus C D is going to happen. You know, you go to high school, you go to college, graduate school, get married, have kids and rinse and repeat. And ultimately at some point life has an external circumstances that it throws your way, that throws off that linear path. And with that we have to make a decision. Now, Tim, in my mind, there are three different types of men and we can be all three of these men in the same day depending on our level of self awareness. There's man number one who's got a ton of blind spots and doesn't notice a darn one of them and goes through life the same every single day. Nothing changes. And then he dies. And then there's man number two who notices the adversity, yet sees it as a barrier. Life is doing this to me. I'm the victim. I'm blaming you. Life sucks. I'm continuing the way I'm doing this. [00:04:44] Speaker B: Yep. [00:04:45] Speaker A: And then there's man number three and that's who I interview. And you're man number three. Man number three is the man with a little higher level of self awareness who notices the adversity and decides, you know what? I'm sick of being the victim. I can control my life a little better. This is life doing it for me. This is an opportunity to become a better man. So my Question to you is that defining moment as far back as you have to go, Tim, Whether it's tap on the shoulder, the whisper in the ear or like I needed the 2 by 4 smack upside the head to say geez, wait, what's going on here, Tim? This is a better way to live. I'm going to do something different this far to give us that defining moment. [00:05:26] Speaker B: Yeah. I think the biggest challenge is we try to define this defining moment. It we have multiple of. And I think you're aware of that too. And I call them bends in the road. Right. Where all of a sudden life, like you said, it's not, it's, it's not linear, it's not going to be this straight path and we are going to have these bends in the road. And I have seen in all of these sometimes it's as simple as a move from one location to another and then other times it's a financial ruin or a bankruptcy or sometimes it's just a loss of a job. And to be quite frank with you, I've had all of those, every one of those. Right. And so when you're asking me the one specific defining moment, let me back up and say my parents were just like what you expected. The society had put rules on. This is how we're going to live, this is what it's going to mean to be successful. And they operated in and under that rule, there's nothing wrong with that, that's just what and how they interpreted the rules of society. So in other words, you go to college, you get a job with a corporation, you stay there for the rest of your life, that's just how you did things. Right. And that doesn't exist anymore. [00:06:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:06:30] Speaker B: So if that still existed and we still had those parameters, that's a great way to live. But when society changes and corporations start laying everybody off and they don't put as much like there's so many things that change that are outside of both my parents control as well as mine. And like you said, they did everything within what they knew and understood. And then to my parents credit, they've also recognized that things have changed. And so they have changed as well. [00:06:54] Speaker A: Right. [00:06:54] Speaker B: But that doesn't change the beliefs that we grow up under. Of course the aspects of okay, well if we do this hard enough, we're going to actually be able to succeed, you do more of what it was and therefore now we're going to be on that straight linear path like what you're talking about. So the first thing, the very first time I have always had a kind of a rebellious spirit in my soul. And not in a bad way. [00:07:18] Speaker A: I get it. [00:07:19] Speaker B: I kind of go outside the box differently. [00:07:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:22] Speaker B: I can recall even as young as 14 and 15, I had. I sold baseball cards at shows and I would just kind of. I was like this entrepreneur. Yeah. When it came to the booster club sales and stuff, man, I was always one or two. I was always up. [00:07:36] Speaker A: I was like, this is exciting. [00:07:37] Speaker B: It's thrilling to me. And if I didn't get first place, I was like, man, that guy, you know, whatever. But I always had that kind of, how can I do more and have that adventure? And so I've always had that entrepreneur spirit. And yet it kind of gets stuffed in that thought process of the way our society is. Just go to school and work for a corporation. Well, what about this adventure aspect of. What about the entrepreneur aspect of it? So after college, I tried to put a bunch of applications out, got shot down in every which way. And I'm like, I'm just going to do my own business. Right. Did that. And I didn't know a lick about business. I didn't know anything about some of the organizational aspects, the financial aspects and that you actually have to take care of some of these bills and you have to lay off employees. You can't have two big of a heart. Because then that. All kinds of things that I just didn't know or understand, frankly. At that point, I was doing in construction and I lost everything. I lost two houses back to bank. I lost a vehicle that was my work vehicle. I mean, we were. When I talk about flat broke, I was playing poker in order to put food on the table kind of broke. [00:08:43] Speaker A: My goodness. [00:08:43] Speaker B: That's just how we were. We were down in the dumps. And this was in Pennsylvania. [00:08:47] Speaker A: Wow. [00:08:47] Speaker B: I was too proud at that moment to really even reach out to anybody to say anything because I had always been taught, you know, you pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Yeah. You don't share the pain. You don't share. If you're alone, you can get through it and just bear up underneath of it. And that was my thought process, what I believed I had to do, man. Long story short on that is obviously as we lost things, I came to the realization that I had to move out of where we were. That was the very first big perspective shift, mindset shift that I had. And realizing that this world is a much bigger place. And so we moved from the Pennsylvania area up into Buffalo and Rochester, and my family was set against it. My wife was set against it. Nobody wanted me or us to be able to move up into Rochester. Hindsight, best thing in the world. It was the best thing in the world for me in the aspect of being able to expand and seeing there was a much bigger world out there. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Right. [00:09:41] Speaker B: Best thing in the world for me as far as with the family, because it forced us to get closer rather than some of the distractions that were there that were dividing us out. So it was, it was literally the best thing in the world. Even though at that time it hurt. We went from a 4,000 square foot home down to a thousand square foot home. Had two kids found. We were expecting our third kid. And it was rough. When I say it was rough. We weren't making ends meet at all. [00:10:03] Speaker A: Right. [00:10:04] Speaker B: And one thing came to another. A lot of really great individuals spoke into my life at that time. Gave me some great education on financial, education on business. Like all these different things that I didn't know I needed to know. [00:10:18] Speaker A: Right. [00:10:18] Speaker B: They started educating me. But that was, like I said, the very first shift that I had right then that led into, well, I'm going to fall back into this belief. I'm getting a job. I finally got hooked up with a corporation. I'm set. That's what the world tells me. I'm set, man. I'm in the corporation, right? So I'm set and I'm good to go. And the corporation moved us down to Philadelphia. Oh, wow. Build up this big part section of this. We were, it's called Lead to Fire. We were doing $15 million a year, excited about it. Company sold it off. Oh, by the way, Tim, we don't have a job for you anymore. [00:10:53] Speaker A: Wonderful. [00:10:54] Speaker B: That, that firing. I did nothing wrong. And in fact, I had grew an industry that it had never been into and I, I was able to break into that industry and do a lot of really cool things. But, oh, sure, we got nothing for you now. [00:11:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:06] Speaker B: Like what? That's it. So my identity had been in the creation of what I could do. The ability to be able to build something and have some. And that just crushed me. I mean, absolutely just crushed me. Because now I'm like, well, if that's not my identity, where do I find my identity? [00:11:21] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:11:22] Speaker B: So the next thing I did is I ended up working with another company and we built another great company, Sunfrog shirts. And we were doing actually $15 million a month in sales on E. Com and expanded into something brand new. And we're using affiliates and I had a hundred thousand affiliates Selling all of these. It was awesome. It was great. And all of a sudden the guy says, well, I don't want to pay you anymore. You got to take a pay cut down to. It was like 10% of what I was making. And I'm like, I'm. Why would I. Why would I. We just built this 15 million, whatever. Then he slapped some lawsuits on me and cease and desist and all these other things that were going on. I'm back at this crap. What am I going to do? What I realized in all of that, and there's a point to all of this, is those each. Each elements made me realize that my identity is not wrapped up in what it is that I'm doing. [00:12:07] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:12:08] Speaker B: Who I am and how I was created. Right? [00:12:11] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:12:12] Speaker B: But that didn't mean that I changed overnight. It meant that I now had to realize. And that's where all of these things consecutively led up to this aspect of what is it that I really believe about life? What is it that I. How do I believe who I am? The skills, the talents. And now I look at all of these experiences and how do I move forward? What is it that I have to. How do. How am I going to show up in life? [00:12:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:35] Speaker B: So as I kind of go through all of these things, that was the pivotal moment at the very end. Once I had lost houses from bankruptcies and all that other stuff, and then lost a job for the corporate and then build a great ecom company and making lots of money, 10 figures a month kind of a thing. And all of a sudden, nothing. [00:12:51] Speaker A: Nothing. Yeah. [00:12:53] Speaker B: How do you. How do you recover from it? [00:12:55] Speaker A: Right. [00:12:55] Speaker B: How do I find identity now that, yes, I had success, yes, I had that all, but now I've got nothing. It's like, how do you start to recover? And now you have to look internal. [00:13:03] Speaker A: Yes. [00:13:04] Speaker B: Potentially the hardest thing that you're ever going to do is take that moment to look internally. And to me, that was more difficult. In fact, I had another mentor. And he's like, dude, you need to ask yourself this question. You need to think about this point. You need to go back in as a kid and think about how did you respond and what gave that to me one day, I called him back the next day and said, his name is Tony, Tony Grubmeyer. Love the guy. Yeah. Calls me back and he says, I called him back and said, I can't do this, Tony. This is too hard. Okay. I've never done this before. I can't think in these manners. I can't do this. And he was so patient with me. I mean, I can't even explain. Express how patient. He's like, okay, well, let's back up. And then he starts to walk me through it and gets me to see from a different perspective and the fact that I can do it, and then I can actually see a value in who and how I was created. And all these skills and talents and experiences that we think are horrible. [00:13:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:00] Speaker B: Gave me the ability to think differently than anybody else. [00:14:03] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:14:04] Speaker B: It wasn't the end of my education, and I'm still learning. Of course it was. That that moment was the start of really focusing in what is the dirty baggage that I carry into each relationship? [00:14:15] Speaker A: Okay. [00:14:16] Speaker B: What is the baggage that I carry into each business that I start or partner with or work with? What is all of this stuff that I'm just kind of not dealing with, but yet I carry it into the next. Next phase? So those were really the key points as we look at. And this whole aspect of what was a tap or smack, and they were all taps and smacks and gentle nudges and everything. It's just. But that's. Those were the elements that I needed. And finally having a mentor look at me and say, you can do this and there is value in it, and then drawing out that greatness, which is what Tony did with me. [00:14:49] Speaker A: Yeah. I think. I mean, there's a lot. A lot there. I think one of the number one things is the fact that you had a mentor and you had the awareness that it was necessary to tap into the expert mind of somebody who had the wisdom of experience. Many of us don't do that, Tim. I know I didn't. I believe I did it. When I was in each corporate area, I found a mentor within that corporate entity to help me there. But no one really outside my world, except for my father. But my father had challenges diving into the emotional aspect of life. So I give you credit for being willing and able to have a mentor, because I think that was the biggest step you were able to make. What do you think about that? [00:15:37] Speaker B: 100%. And here's the thing, and I agree with you completely. And let me. Let me frame it this way, because this is what I've seen across all the guys that I talk with and all the people that. Whether it's coaching or consulting, whatever, this is exactly how I see. We are very, very quick to ask for educational intelligence. [00:15:53] Speaker A: Yes. [00:15:54] Speaker B: We like whatever that is. Whatever industry you're stepping in, it's very quick. Like, I don't know that. But can you teach me whatever that educational intelligence is? [00:16:02] Speaker A: Yes. [00:16:03] Speaker B: What we tend to ignore is the eq. We don't, we don't really dive into this emotional intelligence. Now I, there were some trauma things that happened back in my childhood which made me very acutely aware of some of the emotional intelligence. And I became very manipulative rather than influential and. [00:16:22] Speaker A: Right. [00:16:23] Speaker B: You can read people's emotions quickly, you can tell what's going on and you know how to show up. [00:16:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:28] Speaker B: So I use that to my advantage and I manipulated, there was a lot of arrogance and the other self was by understanding and that kind of gave me like a little bit of a jump start in this. But anybody can do it. [00:16:39] Speaker A: Right. [00:16:39] Speaker B: What's really interesting is your IQ is based on what you've got at birth. Some people are incredibly intelligent. They can remember facts like my sister's like that. Incredibly intelligent. [00:16:50] Speaker A: Yeah. Right. [00:16:51] Speaker B: Eq, your emotional intelligence is the only thing that you can develop and make and become smarter at practice. Through education, you become more efficient in your emotional intelligence. And it's amazing as you practice and work, that's what gives you the ability. But we don't ask for the mentors in that area. We don't see those. And so to your point, yes, it's very easy to look for the intelligence of an industry or the facts or this or that. But when it comes to the eq, we just totally ignore it. So we don't seek that. You have to seek that. Right. [00:17:21] Speaker A: And you know, also gender wise in this society, women are encouraged to find that emotional intelligence. Most men aren't. The emotional aspect of a man is really, we're taught to suppress a lot of it. [00:17:37] Speaker B: We are, we are. But there's a, there's different reasons for that. And that's how God made male and female too. When you look at it, when we were born. And we can go back. Psycho cybernetics is where I first read this. [00:17:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:48] Speaker B: The female mind, it allows for communication from both the right and the left part of the brain. They can communicate back and forth. A male mind does not do this. A male mind goes down and back around. So we don't directly create those connections between the left and the right. The creative versus the logical side. [00:18:05] Speaker A: Right. [00:18:05] Speaker B: So for us we have the ability and this is why with war and some of the things that have to happen, men have the ability to compartmentalize and not allow it to affect some of the emotional part of it. That's a God given gift. [00:18:18] Speaker A: Right. [00:18:18] Speaker B: But it's also a negative when it's put in a position where you don't recognize some of those other things. [00:18:24] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:18:24] Speaker B: So you have good and bad with this, and it's something. Life is money. It doesn't matter. All of this stuff. You have good and bad with both of that. But you're absolutely correct. What men tend to do is we take an emotional experience and we look at that and say, all right, I'm just going to box it up. I'm not ever going to think about it. We're going to stick it in the corner and it's never going to bother me again. [00:18:44] Speaker A: Right. [00:18:45] Speaker B: Truth is, that's not how it. That's not how it works. It just. And then this baggage builds and builds and builds because we never dealt with it. And let me rephrase this. And so we can understand one and two, you're. You're built with skills and talents, and that's just how you are created. [00:19:01] Speaker A: Right. [00:19:01] Speaker B: You're going to come to this world with a certain set of personalities, skills and talents. That's always going to be the way it is. Way that you look at the world which forms your beliefs is through the experiences, all of those experiences. Going up through a childhood, you can develop some extra skills, some talent, whatever. You can develop all that. But that stuff is pretty well set. When you now take your experiences, suddenly you take that skill, talent, add those experience, and that becomes a lens through which you're looking at. [00:19:28] Speaker A: Yeah, you say that, though. Tim, let me. Let me just mention this. Depending on our upbringing, some of us are taught not to take risks in life. [00:19:37] Speaker B: Correct. [00:19:37] Speaker A: And if you don't take those risks, you don't get those experiences, which then it kind of slows you down in growth as an adult. So continue. What you're going to say this, that feeds into it when. [00:19:48] Speaker B: And I would actually contend that that is the experience which creates that belief. Good, good. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Some of us are not to take risk. And that is the experience, that knowledge, you're going through that filter. We don't take risk. We don't take that extra. And so that forms that belief of way that we're going to act. [00:20:05] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:20:06] Speaker B: Often what we do is we try to change these actions without changing these beliefs. And this is what happened to me is I would go in, enter into each situation and just not even look at all of these emotions as belief and all these other things that are going on. And I would just continue to act and wonder why things never change. [00:20:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:23] Speaker B: And why things just kind of got stuck in A rut. So now I look back and I can say, okay, well, I have this skill, this talent, this personality, the way that I was made. I had all of these experiences and I formed beliefs. And through that limited view of those experience, especially as a child, we have very limited understanding. But through that understanding, I looked at that and I formed a belief that I'm either not good enough, I'm not valued, I don't have the skill to be able to do blah, blah, blah. And now, okay, what experience created that belief? And now I have to make a decision. Is that true or false about me? And all of us have them. All of us have these. I'll give you a real quick example on that. When we were younger, we were told, we don't tell people that it's our birthday. We don't tell people that we're celebrating our birthday. That's just one of the things that we did as a family. [00:21:08] Speaker A: Pull over. [00:21:08] Speaker B: We had a birthday. And nobody said this, but this is the conclusion that I had based on that scenario. Okay, birthdays are not important. We don't celebrate birthdays. You work, you don't do anything with birthdays. That's. It's not important. That was the belief that I had. Okay, adulthood. Fast forward. [00:21:26] Speaker A: Married. [00:21:26] Speaker B: We have our first child. My wife goes and she spends a couple hundred dollars on our first baby's birthday. And I'm like, what are you doing? We don't spend money on birthdays we don't have. That's the belief. And I'm like, but now I have a choice. And this is where it really comes down. This is a simple one. There's much deeper ones, but I have a choice. Do I stick to my belief and separate and divide my relationship with my wife and create contention there? [00:21:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:51] Speaker B: With that. Or do I take that belief and analyze that and say, okay, is this true or false? Is this real or fake narrative that I want to choose to live, or is it. Do I want to rewrite that narrative and actually start to live in a manner that's healthy and good? And I had to actually had to come to that conclusion. [00:22:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:10] Speaker B: Hundreds and hundreds of things that, as I've done this analytic discovery I'm finding are going to be the good. This is how it's good. This is what we're actually able to do. And rewriting our narrative and our history to leave that legacy. [00:22:23] Speaker A: I love that. That is a simple example. I love that example. So thanks for sharing that because you're right. There are simple examples like that. And once you're able to give that simple example, like the birthday thing, then it's a lot easier to understand and articulate the bigger decisions that you may have a set belief on and what you do with that. So thanks for that. That was very helpful. Absolutely. So you found out a lot about who you are, and it's led you to who you are right now. Tell me what you're doing personally and professionally to take what you've learned, all that wisdom over the years, and applying it to your professional life and also your personal life. [00:23:03] Speaker B: So one of the things that I had to do is figure out, what am I? And everybody talks differently. Sometimes it's purpose, sometimes it's passion, sometimes it's all of these different things. And they. They kind of. If. And let me be really, really clear about this, if I don't do that stuff that we talked about with the analytics side. [00:23:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:20] Speaker B: When I start talking about passion and purpose and everything else, that just kind of. It's like the fluff that you don't really get to any kind of depth. You have to do that first. Then now we take a look at what is our purpose and what is our passion. [00:23:33] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:23:34] Speaker B: And I saw, as I did the analytic type look in my life, I saw a common theme, a common thread that came through it. And the thing that motivated and caused me to have the most fulfillment was when I watched somebody connect the dots from point A to point B, and they were able to grow into that. But now I look at that and I say, okay, if that's really giving me. I have loved to be able to teach. I love working with kids or with an adult that's struggling with something they can't quite understand. And so now when I actually have it written up there, how many people have I impacted? And I worked really hard to get it down to one question. So when I get up in the morning, I ask myself, how many people have I impacted today? So what does that mean? How do I flesh that out in a manner that is going to be practical, that I can actually pay for my bills because that's part of life. We have to provide for our families. How do I take that? How am I impacting people and now make money off of it. [00:24:33] Speaker A: Interesting. Okay, so. [00:24:34] Speaker B: So one, analyze figuring out these beliefs, these actions, and where all these feelings are going on? Two, diving in and finding my. What I would call my purpose. [00:24:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:44] Speaker B: And then three, now I'm actually going to say, what is the mission or the values through which I'm going to flesh out this Purpose. [00:24:53] Speaker A: Got it. Okay. [00:24:54] Speaker B: So for me, it's. I boil it down into this one component of who am I impacting and how many people have I impacted today? Come to me and say, hey, I have this opportunity. It's going to go through this filter 1. I've got four values and they're on my website, but I've got four key values in a very specific order. And I live, die by those. Those are things that I'm not going to change. Then I look at is, am I able to impact somebody based on these four core values? [00:25:17] Speaker A: Your four core values. [00:25:19] Speaker B: Authenticity. [00:25:20] Speaker A: Got it. [00:25:21] Speaker B: Honor. Transparency. [00:25:23] Speaker A: What was the second one? [00:25:24] Speaker B: I'm sorry, sorry. Adaptability. So it's authenticity. Yep. [00:25:28] Speaker A: Strength, strength, honor. [00:25:31] Speaker B: And adaptability. [00:25:32] Speaker A: And adaptability. Okay. Okay. [00:25:34] Speaker B: Yep. [00:25:34] Speaker A: And all four of those things follow through with all the stories you just told. [00:25:38] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:25:40] Speaker A: They all have to weave. [00:25:41] Speaker B: They see all the definitions and they are in a specific order. So give me. I'll give you a quick example. If I put adaptability as more important than authenticity, that becomes chameleon. And now I'm starting to manipulate people. [00:25:53] Speaker A: That's where you did the manipulating. So you got to do the authenticity first, which gets rid of the manipulation. And then you're adapt down here. You're adapting off of authenticity, which is much healthier. Okay, I got it. [00:26:05] Speaker B: What's. [00:26:05] Speaker A: The second thing is strength. So you go authenticity, then strength, honor. And so what do you describe strength to me? Because right now I'm working on redefining what strength means for men so we can thrive. So tell me what you. [00:26:20] Speaker B: So when I look at strength, I think of a rebar. The rebar is the core of the integrity. So a lot of people like to use the word integrity, but for me, the strength actually means more because it is the reinforcement of what is going on in the under girth of the things that you're not seeing. So whenever I sign my letters to my boys, I might get emotional on this, but I. This is really, really key as I always sign a strength and honor because I want my boys to be strong enough to be able to stand when they need to stand. [00:26:48] Speaker A: Okay. [00:26:48] Speaker B: Hold their honor. And that honor is actually the integrity of being true to their word and living up to. And if you're. If you give your word to something, even if it hurts, you're going to keep that word. So there's that combination of strength, which is that solid. That guy is going to be who he is, but yet authenticity, being true to your emotions and allowing them to flow, then your strength, which Is the. The piece of being able, not the. The fake strength of I can just bear the world on my shoulders. It's the strength I will be here to support any way that I can. Then the honor is I will be truthful and I will be sincere and I will stick and I will do to me. I, I had several situations where I gave my word to somebody and it. Then I had another opportunity come up and I, I had to say no to that other opportunity because I said I would be at this event. [00:27:36] Speaker A: Right, right. [00:27:37] Speaker B: That's where the honor comes in. And then adaptability is. Our world is constantly changing. [00:27:41] Speaker A: Yeah, see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:27:43] Speaker B: We have. So that's. And again, I have it all written out on my website. If you want to go to the About. About Me page, you can go there. You can read all these things, but it's definitely. You use those as a lens now to be able to interpret how I'm going to flesh out this. This impact aspect. How am I going to show up in business and in life and leave an impact based on the mission that I want to accomplish and these values? Right. [00:28:10] Speaker A: So how do you determine if you impact somebody? How do you specifically determine if you were successful in impacting an individual? Do you apply those four standards to your behaviors and say if you did all those four things you impacted? [00:28:23] Speaker B: Sometimes it's not all four. [00:28:25] Speaker A: Okay. [00:28:26] Speaker B: Because there's not always the opportunity. [00:28:27] Speaker A: Opportunity to do all four. [00:28:28] Speaker B: Right. [00:28:28] Speaker A: Okay. [00:28:29] Speaker B: So in some situations, and I'm glad you asked that question, because there's. The way that I can tell if I've impacted is by the feedback that I get from others. [00:28:37] Speaker A: Okay. [00:28:38] Speaker B: And I can even share some of these, like this one here, for example. This is a little LEGO icon and you can't really see it, but I had a mom come up and give this to me while we were doing one of our LEGO build challenges. So let me back up here real quick and just kind of explain. Yeah. I do LEGO workshops for corporate companies. I do LEGO activities for families. And then I use those kinds of things to be able to teach strategies and theories in a practical way. So that revolves around leadership, communication, teamwork, team building. And we really focus on the emotional intelligence inside of those workshops to be able to have better communication, better relationships. [00:29:15] Speaker A: Okay, got it, got it. [00:29:17] Speaker B: So that's. That's where the core is. And that. So I'm. I'm impacting people by building better relationships. So I had the mom come up and she gave me this little piece and she says, I want you to know Something. When we did that activity this last show, this was the first time I was able to connect with my child. And he was a little autistic, and so he had. They had struggles communicating back and forth. [00:29:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:38] Speaker B: But they were able to connect through a building process, through a building activity challenge. And it was the first time that mom and son were able to actually connect on that level. That's wonderful how they use Lego as a way to be able to spend time together. Yeah. And tears in her eyes, she's like, you don't know how much that means to me for me to be able to connect with my son. [00:29:56] Speaker A: That connection. [00:29:58] Speaker B: Hundreds of stories that I can give you from the family activities and how powerful those are when you have. You give the parents a chance to connect on a different level. It's just. That's the fulfillment. That's how I know I've left an impact. [00:30:12] Speaker A: I love that now. [00:30:13] Speaker B: Definitely. [00:30:13] Speaker A: That's loud and clear. All right. Two things I want to. You mentioned about integrity, which is kind of interesting, is my standards are then authenticity, integrity, and truth. My truth. Now, integrity, though I define it as strength and empathy, which may be similar, because, I mean, be strong by having your standards and build a boundary around your standards, so when you are empathic and compassionate, you don't allow somebody to knock those boundaries down. So I call it know your value and stand your ground. [00:30:44] Speaker B: Right. [00:30:44] Speaker A: So, so similar. I just define integrity that way. So it's very similar to what. [00:30:49] Speaker B: I love that. And I love that you use the words that resonated with you. [00:30:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:54] Speaker B: Because everybody's going to have a different meaning. And unfortunately, our English language is not deep enough to be able to have. So one. One word means something to me versus what it means to somebody else. [00:31:04] Speaker A: 100. [00:31:05] Speaker B: It has to resonate with you, but you have to go that next step. [00:31:09] Speaker A: Right. [00:31:09] Speaker B: To explain why that means what it means. Which is exactly what you just did. [00:31:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:31:13] Speaker B: Unfortunately, everybody says, oh, yeah, I'm going to have the value of integrity. [00:31:17] Speaker A: Yeah. They throw at me, can't define what it means to them. Yeah, yeah. It's like. It's like when you ask somebody who is Tim Kroll, and you go and tell me what you do. [00:31:27] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:31:28] Speaker A: Too many people don't know who they are. So they describe who they are by what they do. And that's that identity tied to, you know, what they do for a living. [00:31:36] Speaker B: And it's like, here's the way I think. And I've seen this happen so often, people attach their identity to a title Right. So whatever that title is, that's where it might. Because that's what they do. Right. So when you ever talk to somebody, introduction and networking, you typically will say, I am Tim Kroll, and for me, I happen to be on tv and I was a LEGO Master, but that's not my identity. I'm so much more that. So much broader. But at the same time, I've also watched where people who have been on TV suddenly become. That's all that they're known for is LEGO Masters. That's the first thing they talk and they're like, that's. Dude, you're so much more. You can be so much more. So be careful not to attach an identity to a title. [00:32:16] Speaker A: Right. [00:32:16] Speaker B: Make sure that you're attaching the identity of who and how you show up in the world and all of the value that you bring to the world. That's a whole nother conversation. [00:32:24] Speaker A: It's funny. Well, this is kind of cool because we now have captured, like, a lot more of you. But now I do want you to talk about. Since you said LEGO Master, since I have no idea what you're talking about, please step into the LEGO stuff you do with corporate and families and how. I just know Legos as those little plastic things and it's a company and blah, blah, blah. I want you to get deeper, give us a little deeper connection to what you do with legos and how it helps humans interact better. [00:32:56] Speaker B: So I have to go back into the story of how I actually got involved with lego at the very beginning. [00:33:01] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:33:02] Speaker B: My wife and I have always made the commitment that in order for us to connect to the kid, our kids, we want to make sure that we're doing things that they enjoy. My oldest son was a fisherman, and I spent many hours out there fishing for bass and whatever because he enjoyed fishing. My second son, Zach, he enjoyed lego, he enjoyed building it, creating things. And there's this thing called mocks. It's a. It's an acronym, so it's my own creation. So instead of building a set, what he would do is just grab a bunch of bucket of LEGO and create whatever came to his mind. [00:33:31] Speaker A: Love it. [00:33:31] Speaker B: That became a way for us to connect, him and I. Okay, so we did that a couple of different times. And then being a parent, I want to say, how can we get this expression out in the world and give him opportunity to show how talented he is? Found a thing called Brick World. Brick World is a large LEGO show. It happens in Chicago and around the Midwest. We attended, we displayed, we had two eight foot and, I'm sorry, four eight foot tables. We called it the Queen's Ridge. It spanned over a medieval village up into a castle, had ships, all kinds of water. It's a massive, massive build. Right. So that was our very first expression. [00:34:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:06] Speaker B: From there, the casting agent for LEGO Master, it's on Fox. It's one of the top five watched TV shows. [00:34:12] Speaker A: Oh, wow. Okay. [00:34:13] Speaker B: Contacted us and said, would you apply to be contestants on LEGO Masters at that time? The first one, Zach was underage. And so they said, well, we can't take Zach because he's underage. Let's talk about next year. So we ended up going on season two. [00:34:27] Speaker A: Okay. [00:34:27] Speaker B: And I were the father son duo on LEGO Masters for season two. [00:34:31] Speaker A: I love it. [00:34:32] Speaker B: I. I can tell you this. There was a lot of challenges with that. It's exhausting to be on. It's a lot more work than you ever can imagine. [00:34:39] Speaker A: Right, right. [00:34:40] Speaker B: Platform that they blessed me with and the ability to be able to tell the story. Yeah. Again, fathers and sons. [00:34:47] Speaker A: Wow. [00:34:48] Speaker B: That is where that, this, that's. It all ties together here. Right. So I was able to get up and say, you can have a healthy relationship with your kids as dads. If you spend time, you can have a healthy relationship with your kids. And I was able to exemplify that through a couple of different episodes. Zach and I were able to work together and build things and create and comp. And compete in a world. And I literally was able to watch Zach pretty much become a man on the show and be introduced to so many things. So that was an incredible platform. [00:35:20] Speaker A: Wow. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Again, it's a platform. I don't know what else to say about that. [00:35:25] Speaker A: No, no. This is wonderful. Actually, you know what? I just learned a lot. I'm gonna go back to online and look up season two, LEGO Masters. Yeah. [00:35:33] Speaker B: So that's. That's where Zach and I were on. And then, because I've always been a teacher and I've. I've never liked the talking head, I always wanted to use illustrations. [00:35:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:43] Speaker B: And I discovered as I watched Zach develop that I can do my own creations or I can create little things. [00:35:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:51] Speaker B: To break down the barrier. So if I go into an organization, a corporate organization, and I say to an average employee, can you tell me your mission? Can you tell me your values? [00:36:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:01] Speaker B: If they tell me them, they'll just spout them all, but they don't really mean anything. [00:36:04] Speaker A: They don't feel. Yeah. That's. [00:36:06] Speaker B: If they can tell me. [00:36:07] Speaker A: If they can tell me If I. [00:36:08] Speaker B: Say, how does this show up? They're like, what do you mean, how does this show up? Like, how does it show up? How does this value show up with your customers? How does it show up when you're interacting or. Or building a team or. Or stocking shelves? How does this show up? And they're oblivious. Right. So I will get that standard answer at a corporate with all those values. Right? Yeah. So now I take a Lego and I'll use this one, for example. This one's called the Serious Play Duck. [00:36:30] Speaker A: Okay. [00:36:30] Speaker B: Six pieces. And I tell. And I. It's not together. I hand it to them, say, your mission is to take those six pieces. You've got 60 seconds to build a duck out of 100 people. I did this for the Michigan Health Department. Out of a couple that was like 200 people, I think I got two or three people that built the exact same duck. Everybody else's. All of them were different in different ways and different. So what we were able to look at is saying, okay, each one of us is created differently with different personalities, with different skills, with different communication likenesses and the way that we like to talk to each other. And so we were able to see all of that just with this series. [00:37:08] Speaker A: Six piece duck. Yeah. [00:37:09] Speaker B: And then so what that led to was the ability to say, okay, how do we build stronger relationships? How do we create better communication channels when somebody is very direct and to the point and another person is very relational. And you've got these two opposite extremes. So how do those two people connect with each other? How do they communicate and how do they work together as a team? That's just. This is just one example. I've got what's called a low. Well, sphere. And this is based off of Jim Collins. A lot of people know Jim Collins. Good to great. The right people in the right seats, in the bus going the same direction. Right. This one is a complete sphere. And inside, the way it's built is all of those pieces have a purpose, they have a meaning. And then they give strength to the organization, even when outside forces are pushing on them. [00:37:53] Speaker A: See, I love that that's important. And then the people who are just listening now didn't see that. But when you build something, be it any type of relationship or item, you need to have that strong foundation. Because if you don't have a strong foundation, you put something heavy on it, it's going to crush. And, you know, my. My marriage, that's what we didn't build. That solid foundation and heavy stuff like a child with autism and child with Crohn's disease, the focus on that, boom, that crushed it. So what Tim is saying is it's so important in everything you do, everything you build, everything you create, everything you speak about to build that solid foundation. It's kind of like know who you are before you go and do something. And Tim, this has been absolutely fascinating, man. Certainly the audience has captured the essence of Tim Kroll. There's no doubt about that. Hey, audience, you gotta reach out to Tim. So two different aspects on the professional aspect, reach out to Tim. Just go to Tim Kroll.com that has everything we, we talked about with his four standards, his speaking, his teaching and everything. If you just want to talk to him as he's a, he's a good guy and all that stuff, just Google Tim Kroll. You're going to see a ton of stuff up there, especially because of the Lego thing. But Tim's a great guy to speak with. I feel like I've known him for years because he's, he's impacted me a lot. So I can be one of the, one of your impacted people today, Tim. So thank you for that. All right, so Tim, before we wrap up, I've got two very important questions for you. All right, put your imagination cap on. You're now sitting down with young 7 to 10 year old Tim Kroll and you want to give him advice about life. What are you going to tell young Tim? [00:39:43] Speaker B: I. I have been asked this question many times and I truly, truly struggle with that for a couple of reasons. One of the main reasons is the fact that I do not want to divert him, that young Tim away from the challenges, because the challenges are what made me perfect. The challenges are where they're at. But in order to be able to look at that and say, you are enough and you are stronger than you believe. Because I remember many times feeling like there was. I did not have it left and I did not think I could make it through. And those, those just simple words of you are valued, you are loved and you are enough coming from somebody that you would look up to. [00:40:32] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. [00:40:34] Speaker B: And give you hope that the future is going to get brighter. [00:40:38] Speaker A: Love it. [00:40:38] Speaker B: So all of the crap and all of the other things that are happening, you can get through it because you know that somebody else's loves you and accepts you as the way that you are. I love that that little seed of hope, huge. Allows you to be able to get through that stuff. [00:40:53] Speaker A: Love that. All right, different hat. You're now sitting with young Tim the young businessman, entrepreneur, and you want to give him advice about business. What do going to tell him? [00:41:02] Speaker B: You don't know. Crap. [00:41:03] Speaker A: There you go. Yep. [00:41:06] Speaker B: You know, it's interesting too, because that's a whole different conversation in the aspect that I know that I would not have listened because I got this information, but I didn't listen because I thought I was. I mean, I know everything, man. I'm 19, 21. I'm like, dude, I know everything. I've been through it. I'm like. And I'm like, dude, you didn't know. You don't know anything. [00:41:27] Speaker A: Anything. Yeah. [00:41:28] Speaker B: So I. But at the essence, too, I know from the perspective of I did listen to a few individuals, but it was when I was at my lowest point. [00:41:37] Speaker A: Yeah. That usually I had to get. [00:41:39] Speaker B: I had to get broken of my arrogance and pride and before I ever would listen. So I know, like I said, it would have been a really hard conversation even to have because if somebody's not listening, it's like this whole aspect. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. And when I. When I coach people, if you don't do the actions, I can't help you. You have to do it on your own or you have to be broken enough to be able to be accepting. Accepting of it. [00:42:03] Speaker A: Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. [00:42:06] Speaker B: I could tell you all kinds of stuff, but I. He ain't gonna listen. [00:42:08] Speaker A: No. Well, you know, it's interesting because, you know, before we hit record, I explained to each guest why I have them answer those two questions. We know two things, that the younger self will not listen to us, nor do we want him to, because we wouldn't be who we are now if he had listened. Big point behind it. A. It gives us the imagination to really say, how often do we sit back and think what we would have wished we knew? Right. But the thing is too, Tim, you're a young guy 10 years from now. I'm hoping for your sake that you're going to listen ten years from now to the advice that this Tim Kroll today just gave his younger self. You know, and. Because often we don't listen to our own advice. But there's a lot of reasons why I love having the answers to those questions on these podcasts. Tim, I want to thank you for a variety of things. Number one, being who you are. Number two, coming into my life, there's a reason and I want you to. You're a wonderful human being and the stuff that you are doing to help others ease their transition in life is so valuable. Please keep doing what you're doing and and I appreciate you my friend. [00:43:20] Speaker B: Well, thank you man. I I love being here and again if anybody I I I want to talk to people if you are struggling and hopefully you can end with this is I want you to know that you're not alone and that there's people out there that do care because I've talked to too many that are alone and think that they're alone. So if, if anything else, just reach out, say hi, say something and I promise you I will be the one responding to you. [00:43:43] Speaker A: I love that you are not alone. Everybody, I want we want you to take care of yourselves. You take care now. Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it. I'd like you to answer this question. Are you living the life you want to live? Where are you living the life others want you to live? I'd like you to think about that for a second because I strongly suggest you live the life you want to live. If you want to learn more about what I stand for and my services and how I'm able to help many men get out of their own way, please go to my website at www.profitcompassion.com. feel free to also email me at [email protected] I'd love to have a conversation with you. Take care of yourself and choose to write your own story instead of letting others write it. [00:44:43] Speaker B: For.