[00:00:06] Speaker A: Welcome to from caving in to crushing it, the podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to.
[00:00:15] Speaker B: Write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Deraney, and I'm your host.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: So today's guest is Philip Agrios. Dr. Philip Agrios. Dr. Phil is the CEO and founder of Transcend now. He is a business consultant, international speaker, and best selling author who guides business people worldwide to move from self sabotage to self made success by uncovering an inborn survival trait that stops their success.
Tragic events that affected his personal and professional life sparked him on a quest to understand human behavior to its core. While researching and helping thousands of people for over 30 years, he was able to discover a revolutionary way to avoid self sabotage so you can make the impact you know you can make.
[00:01:09] Speaker B: Dr. Phil, so good to see you.
[00:01:11] Speaker C: Thank you so much, Drew. Same here. Thank you so much for the honor of being on your show.
[00:01:15] Speaker B: Well, it's a pleasure having you on. I've learned so much from you in like a three week span at our men's group that it's unbelievable a, your wealth of knowledge. And I know it's not just the knowledge, it's your wisdom from your experience, and you're willing to share it with others.
You're very welcome. I'm stopping. Self sabotage is so close to my heart, and I wanted you on, not only because of what you're doing now, more so because of the type of human being you are and that you've faced adversity, and you made a conscious decision not to retreat from adversity, and you decided to move forward and made yourself a stronger human being because of what you've gone through in life. We're taught, and it's no knock on our parents, because it's what they were taught, that life is linear, that if we do a plus b plus c, d is going to happen, and it's not true. There's always something that gets in between those letters and kind of derails our straight line course. So if you could think back as far as you can and pick that defining moment or defining moments that made you pause and say to yourself, Phil, there's a better way to live, and I'm going to do it differently and has helped mold you to who you are now.
[00:02:38] Speaker C: Interesting. I haven't told this story in a long, long time. It just popped in my head. So I remember I was trying to sleep. One of those nights where you wake up. It's like you had about five red bulls intravenously. And no matter what you do, you can clean your house twice in an hour.
[00:03:00] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:03:01] Speaker C: So I'm like, I'm getting up and I'm going to go into my study and I'm going to go to work. So I go into my study and I'm looking through my draws and looking for something, and I come across my five year goals that were prior, five years prior. And I was like, oh, this is awesome. I'm all psyched, ready to look at each one. And I'm reading each one, and off my last one, I got down, I went. I didn't achieve one damn one of these.
[00:03:28] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness.
[00:03:29] Speaker C: What's wrong with me? That was the first thing. What is wrong with me? Am I illusion? I started to feel really bad about myself and I just sat there. And when you're in the dark and dead silence, things start to come to you. And something just said to me, you've been lied to. This is not the way to live. And there's something that you're here to do. And I'm thinking, whatever, right? So I go back and I go on to what I needed to do. And I found myself on this journey to find the one thing that actually caused me not to achieve those goals. It caused me to feel that there was something wrong with me. And from that moment, I started to experience, because I always tell people, be careful what you wish for, because if you're going to find something that no one else in the world is finding, you're going to go through some stuff, and especially if it's on self sabotage. So I went through a lot of stuff over a 20 year expand, especially more through a ten year expand.
[00:04:47] Speaker B: Right.
[00:04:47] Speaker C: And during that process, it allowed me to continue to move forward and to discover what we discovered and allowed people to help them, not only with myself, with my children and my clients and my patients back then when I used to practice.
[00:05:01] Speaker B: Right.
[00:05:02] Speaker C: And that's how it really was, the pivotal moment that I was supposed to be here, further than what I went to school for.
[00:05:14] Speaker B: All right, so there's a lot here. So I'm thinking about those five year goals that you saw when you looked at those goals before you started beating yourself up.
Were those five goals goals that at that time that you were reading them, ones that you would have wanted to accomplish?
[00:05:33] Speaker C: Oh, absolutely, yeah, absolutely. Do I remember exactly. We're talking like 30 something years, 30.
[00:05:39] Speaker B: Some od years ago. Right.
[00:05:41] Speaker C: So do I exactly remember? But even though I don't remember what was on that list. I remember the feeling that this was achievable and why wasn't I achieving them?
[00:05:52] Speaker B: Okay, so when you went out, you basically learned your purpose in life. You were told where to go, and I now know that feeling for me. So I can empathize with you.
What was your next move? Was it diving in to learn what causes self sabotage, or was it an iterative process? Before you got to that, it was a self sabotage thing?
[00:06:16] Speaker C: Yeah, it was to a point of as I was moving forward into some of the things that I was happening, trying to figure out, okay, what do I do? And before that, I was listening to Roe and Robbins, and I had all the cassette tape programs, remember, cassette tape?
And realizing that even though I was doing this, why wasn't what they're telling me working? And I realized that it was really general information that I had to take in and be specified to me, but because I was so close to it, I couldn't see it. And then all of a sudden, I started meeting people and other things, and I met this one woman. I talk about her in my book, Emily Knight, where she was very more spiritual, and I was very structured, and this is the way it goes. And during the process, we started to look at life and the different steps that nature uses to come back from her storms. And then a few years later, we split up. After doing some seminars, she went her way, I went my way, and I kept on getting download of information of, oh, this is this, try this. And coming up with a very simplistic, complex system that when you use it, it's so simple, I couldn't believe it. So that's what happened. It was just a little bit of this and then going on YouTube and finding something there and then watching tv and something was sparked me in my brain and then some things. 02:00 in the morning, I always started getting a download. I would go into my office and I would just like, type, be type, type. And then over 30 years, it took me 30 years to really develop all the stuff that no one else has.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:08:00] Speaker C: To really figure this out. And I went through a lot, but it was there for a reason, because if I didn't go through all the stuff that I went through, I wouldn't be here talking to you right now.
[00:08:10] Speaker B: No, very true, very true.
Obviously, your experience with researching self sabotage is much more expansive than mine. I've been doing it for just the last three or four years, realizing that I'm addicted to self sabotage, and I'm working on breaking it. I'm going to hit the QR code after on your thing so I can take a look at the video. But in what I've learned, people are prone to slippage, where, in a matter of milliseconds, you can slip back into the self sabotage thing. Do people find that with your antidote?
[00:08:44] Speaker C: It's beautiful.
[00:08:46] Speaker B: See, that's amazing.
[00:08:48] Speaker C: Here's the thing. You will never, ever get rid of self sabotage. You will never, ever get rid of fear. It's your protective measurement. That's what it is. So what we were able to discover was what we call the inborn sabotaging trait. It's a trait that you're born with that helps you protect yourself from the very success that you want. Because when you want that goal, it's subconsciously too painful to get there or to obtain it and sustain it. So we do what we need to do to offset it. So when I tell people, there is nothing wrong with you, you're not an idiot, you're not a loser, your kids are not lazy. They're just all in protection. And the reason why you have that conflict is you both are protecting each other from each other.
[00:09:37] Speaker B: Right?
[00:09:38] Speaker C: It's not that you hate each other. Some people do. But the majority of us don't hate the person. We just hate what they're doing. But we love them. But we're protecting ourselves at that moment. And over 30 years, when I found this, I went, this is too simple. There is no way. So I went out to try to disprove it. And over 30 years, researching thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people from all walks of life and ages, from children to 85 year olds and nine year olds, we were able to prove it, but also found a way to switch it off instantly. And it works 100% of the time. And that's what we call the antidote. So, when you use the antidote, which is the exact opposite to the sabotaging trait, it's impossible to sabotage yourself. We prove that. So everything is in you. You're the mass murderer, you're the loving person, you're the ugly person, you're the beautiful person, you're the lazy person, you're the energetic person. Everything is within you. There is no such thing as lack. It is up to you what you want to tap into, to show yourself and the world.
[00:10:38] Speaker B: So, question this trait. Is it located in the amygdala of the brain? Because I know the amygdala is what stops us from risk taking and stuff.
[00:10:48] Speaker C: There's only three inborn sabotage. Let me go back a little.
[00:10:52] Speaker B: Bit, yeah.
[00:10:53] Speaker C: So what I was able to do was find out there's actually only three basic traits that make up who we are. We call it the director trait, the supplier trait, and the communicator trait, because there's only three things we do. We direct, supply, and communicate. That is it.
[00:11:09] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:11:10] Speaker C: Once I realized that, because I was able to show how the galaxies, as well as the atoms, have the same principles. Okay. Once I realized that, then I found to place them in a three positions, we call it your dominant trait, which is your superpower. Then a mediator trait, which is the bridge between the dominant trait and what we call the inborn sabotaging trait or the Saboteur. That sequence is what you're born with. Now, with disc and Myers bridge and all the other tests, you have to take them probably twice a year. Things change. This never changes. We have found that this is what you're born with. So there are only six sequences of human behavior. So there's only six people in the world. So when I know your sequence, I can tell you everything about you and never meet you.
If you have a child or a significant other, I can ask you a couple of questions, tell you everything about them, and then tell you how you two interact and never ask you a question. That's how much of a scientific basis of where we got this from. And it always works. It never fails.
[00:12:15] Speaker B: Unbelievable. Unbelievable. So, obviously, the benefits to people who utilize this antidote would be more of a growth mindset than a fixed mindset.
[00:12:28] Speaker C: So what we found is 67% of the people don't need mindset, okay?
They need something else. So each saboteur needs something. One needs the mindset, the other needs more. What we call the feel set. The other needs more what we call heart set.
[00:12:45] Speaker B: Okay?
[00:12:45] Speaker C: And that's why I talked to so many people going, oh, my God. I've been trying with mindset, mindset, and it doesn't work. And I said, yeah, because you have too much of it, and that's your superpower. So what people use this for, from business owners, executives, entrepreneurs, from children to married, we've helped save marriages. We've helped child patient relationship, business partner relationship explosions for a person's business or their income, and helping low performing employees to higher performers, increasing their sales. Because when a person tries to sell and they don't close, it's their inborn sabotage and protecting them, because it's more painful to close.
[00:13:25] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:26] Speaker C: Imagine knowing. Do you have children?
[00:13:28] Speaker B: Yeah, I have three.
[00:13:29] Speaker C: Okay. Imagine knowing each of your child's sequence. You will now know exactly how to support them in the way they need to be supported, not in the way you think they need to be supported, which is really what you need. So we had a manager one time come up to me when we're doing a workshop. He says, my kids always upstairs playing video games. We can't get them downstairs to interact with the family. So he understood the workshop, he understood what his sequence is and everything else. And I said, okay, I'm going to ask you a few questions. We ascertained his son's sequence. Within a week, he calls me. He says, my son is downstairs interacting with the family, because what he realized, he was the one pushing his son back in the room. His son was a particular sequence, so he was making fun of him because that's how he grew up. But it was backfiring. As soon as he was doing exactly what I was telling him do, his son was coming back. And within two months, their relationship skyrocketed. Then he realized his business, he was doing the same thing, because your business and your professional life and your personal life are the same. So when you use your saboteur, both are affected. And when you use your antidote, both are affected. So his business increased. His relationship with his clients as well as his employees increased as well. So that's just one of the things that we help with.
[00:14:54] Speaker B: So two things came to mind for me. You know how people tell us to have that work life balance, which I don't believe in that, because like what you said, it's 24 hours in a day. Pretend we're sleeping for eight. Then you got the balance of those 16 hours work and life. Like you said. What I usually say is people have the same strength. And some, for some reason, when they cross the path from home to work, they stop using the strength. It's probably the sells the saboteur piece. Because I've seen people, I used to work in healthcare, you have these physicians who would play the power trip, and then you learn that at home, they don't wear the pants at home. So you're like, interesting. They can bring the strength here and not there. So you've kind of found a way where you don't need to sell. You can't separate it. They're the same.
[00:15:46] Speaker C: Right there are. And it's just where people will show that they'll use their antidote more, let's say, in their business wise, but not in their personal life and vice versa. Because here's the case. I always ask this question.
If you treated your clients the way you treat your family, would you have any clients?
[00:16:07] Speaker B: No.
[00:16:07] Speaker C: And if the answer is no, the reason is to start treating your family like clients. And the reason is because your clients give you a consequence. They'll give you bad reviews, you'll lose money, whatever the case may be. But in the family, you can yell, scream and do whatever until one says, I'm wanting divorce, or the one runs away.
[00:16:29] Speaker B: Yeah, very good.
[00:16:30] Speaker C: Because we feel that we can do that because of that end of it. And we've seen tremendous shifts. I remember my client, her son came up to me and go, who are you? Where's my mother? Why aren't you screaming at me? Because she realized then that she can actually help him subconsciously by using certain words of his antidote. She could now have a nice conversation, still quote, discipline, or guide him in a way, but in certain ways knew that he had to fall in this face.
[00:17:06] Speaker B: Right.
[00:17:06] Speaker C: I always tell people, when your kids start to walk, did you let them fall in their ass? You did. Yeah, but you stop them from hitting their head on the cocktail table. There's two different things here. Some people, the helicopter, they don't want to carry them. Now, they're 16 years old, and the kids can't walk, right?
[00:17:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:24] Speaker C: So you have to find out why. Your fear, your protection. Because there's only two protectors. There's the withdrawal and the overengaging. What we found was you go back and forth depending on your saboteur. But when you use your antidote, you immediately go into a neutral way.
[00:17:41] Speaker B: Yeah, well, it sounds like the antidote enables the individual to get back into a rational ego state. Because when we're in that emotional state, like the mother yelling at the kid, you get the opposite effect that you're looking for. So it brings you back into that rational state.
[00:17:57] Speaker C: Yeah, because they don't realize that at moment, that child is not representing. The child is not representing themselves. They're representing the thousands of other people that have given that person that attitude, usually whether it's mom, dad, or siblings or whatever. But as soon as they deal with what's happening in their present, their past is dealt with instantaneously. Because they're the same thing.
[00:18:19] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:18:20] Speaker C: And once they see that, and that's where it empowers them to knowing that there's only one thing to do. There's not ten, there's not twelve. There's just one thing to focus on. So if I may give an analogy.
[00:18:31] Speaker B: Yeah, sure, please.
[00:18:32] Speaker C: So what we talk about is that, you see the master, the domino masters, they push the one domino, it goes.
Last one hits, and let's say balloons are released. Okay. Well, what's the last thing you see? The balloons.
[00:18:45] Speaker B: The balloons. Gone. Yeah.
[00:18:47] Speaker C: So what do we do? We take our coke methods. And do what? We put them on the balloons. Not the one domino. So what's easier, hold down the balloons and stop pushing the domino and the balloons is your impostor syndrome. Your anxiety, your depression. Every negative emotion that you feel last.
So what we do is we teach people to show that when they push down that saboteur, it creates every negative emotion that you experience. And we prove that. And then when they push down the antidote the opposite way, then they go into inspiration and motivation, and they immediately go into growth. So when you start to release your personal, professional power and you start hitting that comfort zone, your saboteur kicks in to protect you.
[00:19:30] Speaker B: Of course.
[00:19:31] Speaker C: Nothing wrong with you, right? But imagine when you hit that uncomfortable zone and you start to contract. Imagine knowing what that is and then using the antidote immediately. You can now do this absolutely hamster.
[00:19:45] Speaker B: Wheel of going right as a parent, and I'm thinking about the kids, how you met. Through trial and error, I, probably, over a long period of time, have now learned how to react to my oldest son, who's got autism, and my middle guy, who's got Crohn's disease, and my daughter, who hasn't been diagnosed with anything. I have learned to have three different management styles. But it took me 30.
The oldest one's 21. All those years, and frustration and stress, that if I had known the antidote for each of the. For my own self sabotage, or even for theirs, it probably would have saved me some frustration.
I was eight. I could see how it could save marriages, because I could totally see that. Because I know in our situation, when we're working with two kids, trying to diagnose, by the time we got them where they are, we didn't know who each other was anymore. Whereas if we had that antidote, we could have worked on ourselves.
[00:20:51] Speaker C: Yeah. I had a guy one time I met a month ago in San Diego, and he calls me one day and he says, I'm calling the lawyer tomorrow. What can you do? What?
[00:21:01] Speaker B: You're getting divorced.
[00:21:02] Speaker C: So we sat down and we made sure that, again, I'm not a therapist. I don't do that. I'm just helping people to understand that. So we sat down with them and realized, number one, they didn't hate each other, but when they realized they were just protecting themselves from each other, within a month they're still married. Okay. But now you add a couple of children involved, and one of the things was one of the kids, he would sleep in and they couldn't get him up, and the mother would scream from the other room. And I said, with his sequence, that's the last thing you do. You need to do this, this and this. And when she did it, within the week, he was getting up. It was much easier, and the screaming stopped. So not only do you have the husband wife aspect of it, you have the what, children involved, and now you have this whole complex that looks like it's complex, but it's really very simple. We had a coach who didn't have a great relationship with her husband, and within five weeks, her relationship really skyrocketed because not only did she understood her sequence, she understood his, but he never knew she was taking the course.
Oh, we've helped parents or business owners, whether or not they have clients or whatever potential clients. Okay. I would ask them a few questions, and then I would ascertain their sequence, and I would tell them exactly what they do, and they will come back going, it worked like a charm. I said, yeah, because this does this, and this is why these two react in the way they do. It's just like compounds like sodium chloride will come nicely together, but if you mix two other ones, there's an explosion.
That's how much of a science we have. And there's nothing like this in the world. No one else is teaching this, because this is what I have. And I always tell people, if you're always looking for something that's totally new, then we have that, and we guarantee our results. We actually will sit with the people. Not everybody comes. We want to make sure everybody is a candidate. And if they are, we make sure that they're a candidate by talking to them, and then we find out what they're looking for. And then if we can, we actually then say we will guarantee that, and that's what we do. With a money back guarantee.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: That's unbelievable. So I understand now how you, for 30 years, doing that research and everything, the doctor in front of your name, what degree? Because you said you used to be in practice. So what did you do prior to having this epiphany?
[00:23:20] Speaker C: So I used to be a chiropractor and a functional medicine practitioner. My specialty was thyroid and autoimmune disease. And during my time with autoimmune, I had very high success rates with autoimmune disease patients. Because what we're finding out was that when they had a situation, some type of trigger. They would then use their saboteur, which will then cause them to use their numbing devices, smoking, eating, drinking, whatever, yelling, whatever going to work and everything else. But once they understood their saboteur and then used their antidote when the trigger happened, we found that two things happened. Number one, they would lessen their devices or they would stop it, so therefore, their flare ups would not be as bad. Now they're more evened out.
[00:24:11] Speaker B: Were you still practicing in functional medicine when you determined the antidote as chiropractic? Simultaneously doing the research while you were in a practice for functional.
[00:24:22] Speaker C: Yeah, my patients.
[00:24:24] Speaker B: Okay, good, because I'm not surprised when I asked you what you practiced, because chiropractors and functional medicine doctors, just like more so dos than mds, treat the whole human. And so you had an open mind to begin with to isolate this antidote.
All right, so this makes sense now.
[00:24:48] Speaker C: And then what happened was, by May, my patients, who were business owners, were making major breakthroughs in their business, and I never thought about using it in business. So we started working with them, and then I started getting referrals all around the world. I wrote my book. And then four years ago, I decided to go from doctor to consultant. So now we do this full time, and I stopped practicing.
[00:25:09] Speaker B: Yeah, but we need more like you in the functional medicines.
[00:25:15] Speaker C: I do have clients who are functional medicine docs that understand this, and we help them with their patients.
[00:25:22] Speaker B: This is unbelievably fascinating. You know what? You and I are going to have to talk offline, because with the middle guy having Crohn's disease. Yeah, I know. Exactly.
Numbing and Crohn's.
[00:25:34] Speaker C: I would love to have a conversation and guide you to somebody that would help you, but, yeah, it can be helped.
[00:25:40] Speaker B: Yeah, we'll definitely talk about that. I could talk to you forever. Thank God. I see you every Tuesday morning, so this is cool.
All right, before we end, I want to ask you two questions.
[00:25:53] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: First one is you have the opportunity, and you're sitting down with young Phil. Young seven to ten year old Phil. And you want to give him advice about life. What are you going to tell him?
[00:26:06] Speaker C: Seven and ten.
[00:26:07] Speaker B: Seven to ten? He's seven. 8910 years old.
[00:26:11] Speaker C: I would tell them that every experience, whether good or bad, is a benefit for them.
And to use this phrase, I wonder what gift I'm getting. So, even though it looks bad and everything else, and you'll learn as you look through this, and I want you to become aware of this is that when you think something's good, it can turn out bad. And if you think of something bad, it can turn out good. So look at things neutrally, as best as you can, but see how it benefits with you. And when, if it benefits you, then you can move forward and use that and build it for the rest of your life.
[00:26:51] Speaker B: That's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. All right, switching hats now. You're sitting down with young Phil, the young businessman entrepreneur, and you want to give him advice about business. What are you going to tell him?
[00:27:02] Speaker C: I'd smack him. I'd smack him right now.
[00:27:06] Speaker B: I didn't see that.
[00:27:12] Speaker C: What is wrong with you?
[00:27:13] Speaker B: No, I'm kidding.
[00:27:16] Speaker C: So I would tell him, find somebody who's very successful, what you want and go pay them what they want and do exactly what they tell you to do, no matter how much, because that money is going to be way less than you to try to figure it out on your own.
[00:27:36] Speaker B: Yeah. That is unbelievable advice. And it's so true. So true. Jeez. And I wish people would listen to that.
Okay, you know what? The audience certainly grasps the essence of Dr. Phil Agrios. Did I get it right? Yes. All right.
So, audience, you are going to want to get in touch with them. First of all, do the QR code, because when you do the QR code and you watch the 13 minutes video, there's a little known trait that derails your success. And I learned something from that video. So please do that.
I'm going to do it now. You can't see me because I know this is the audio one, but I'm going to go do the. Got the QR code right here. Yes, there it is. And I'm going to look at it after we get off the phone. All right. Wow. So it says, free training for business owners and executives. The little known trait derailing your success and potential income. How one change can lead to significant results. So that unbelievable, unbelievable stuff, Dr. Phil. So, guys, you could also go to transcendnowmasterclass.com if you want to get to know Dr. Phil. It's definitely well worth it. He's a great man, great human being. Please keep doing what you're doing. And I have to say, I am grateful for Keegan Schaefer for introducing us. I always love to give credit to people who introduce. Absolutely, absolutely.
I'm grateful for my life, my friend. Same here. At minimum, I want to see you every Tuesday morning.
[00:29:09] Speaker C: Sounds good.
[00:29:10] Speaker B: This has been great. Thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate you.
[00:29:14] Speaker C: Thank you so much. I really appreciate it and have a fun week.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: Thanks. You too. Take care everybody.
Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it. If you find yourself immersed in adversity and would like to find support from other men in times of struggle, please become a member of my men's supporting men collaboration tribe by emailing me at [email protected]
expressing your interest and I'll get in touch with you. Speak to you soon. Bye.