Episode 59 - Dr Robyn Odegaard - I Grew Up in a Cult and Three Weeks After I Graduated From High School, I Was Married Off to My First Cousin

[00:00:06] Speaker A: Welcome to from caving in to crushing it, the podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Deraney, and I'm your host, Dr. Robin. It's so good to see you. Thanks so much for coming on. [00:00:24] Speaker B: I'm so glad to be here. We're going to have so much fun. [00:00:27] Speaker A: Yes, we are. So I'll tell you, you have an amazing story, and I know the first time we met, and actually, I have to say, I have to thank Steve Ramona for this introduction. I always like to acknowledge the people who introduce us because it's just a wonderful thing where we can meet great human beings across the world just by being introduced to them. He's been 100% correct on the introductions he's given to me, and he was spot on with you, I'm telling you, I always talk about how, because I'll be 55 on Friday, and it's taken most of my life to realize that life is not linear. I was promised that or taught that, and it's not my parents fault, because they were taught that if you do a plus B plus C plus D, e is going to happen. And in a certain part of our life, there are things that get in the middle of those letters and kind of derail that straight line. And so in your circuitous route in life, I'm sure you've come upon a few defining moments. If you can go back as far as you feel comfortable and kind of highlight that defining moment and where you finally paused and said to yourself, Dr. Robin, I don't know if you call yourself Dr. Robinson Robin, this doesn't have to be like this. There's a better way to live. And you chose not to retreat. You chose to move forward and become a stronger person because of your adversity, not despite it. And you become who you are now because of it. I would love to hear how you got to be the Robin you are today. The Dr. Robin you are today. [00:02:06] Speaker B: Yeah. I have to share some of the story. There's no way to understand that if you don't know the story. So for me, it starts with that I grew up in a cult, and women had a specific role and what we were supposed to do and not do. And so three weeks after I graduated from high school, I was married off to my first cousin. [00:02:28] Speaker A: Wow. [00:02:29] Speaker B: So I grew up in California, and he moved me from California out to North Carolina. [00:02:34] Speaker A: Okay. [00:02:34] Speaker B: I find myself 18 years old, married to someone I barely know. Who's eleven years older than I am, living in a place I don't know anybody. And the last thing my father said before he walked me down the aisle was, you're no longer welcome in my home as a single woman. And so I had to figure it out. [00:02:52] Speaker A: Wow. [00:02:53] Speaker B: It took me about six months to realize three things. One, my new husband was not very bright. He was very badly in debt, and he had a drug problem. [00:03:02] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [00:03:03] Speaker B: But there were some good things that came out of that. One, he made me get a job because he needed the money. He was in debt? [00:03:10] Speaker A: Oh, gosh. Yeah, right. [00:03:12] Speaker B: Married women in my family don't work. Me having a job was a big deal. [00:03:16] Speaker A: Okay? [00:03:17] Speaker B: It taught me that, hey, I can make my own money, I can make my own friends. And there are crazy stories I could tell you, but I'll fast forward to the end. Eight and a half years after marrying him, he threw me out. He told me and my father it was because I was lazy. [00:03:32] Speaker A: Wow. [00:03:32] Speaker B: And my father called me and said, if you had been appropriately submissive, you would have been able to make it work. [00:03:38] Speaker A: Whoa. [00:03:40] Speaker B: Fortunately, my best friend let me move in with her. She had a spare bedroom, so I had a job and I had a place to sleep. So that was really great. I got to start playing volleyball. I got to play competitive volleyball, right? But what I learned years later, my ex came back and said to me, hey, I want to try again. And I was like, you've lost your mind. And he said to me, let me tell you what actually happens. Because the last thing he had said to me was, I don't love you, I don't want to be married to you, and I don't want you living in my house. [00:04:08] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:04:08] Speaker B: Never mind that. The house was a slab of concrete, plywood walls and a tin roof. I actually had to cut the grass in the bedroom because it was growing under the wall. [00:04:17] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [00:04:18] Speaker B: Yeah, it was a shack. It was awful. [00:04:21] Speaker A: All right. [00:04:21] Speaker B: I said to him, by all means, do please tell me what happened. [00:04:25] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:25] Speaker B: What had happened is he had gotten involved with a cocaine ring, and the drug cartel wanted to steal his identity because he had good credit. Thank you, Robin. I fixed his credit. [00:04:34] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [00:04:35] Speaker B: And they did. He actually almost ended up in federal prison because they stole his identity. But they convinced him that he could do better than me and that I was holding him back. And that's why he threw me out. So I might be the only person you ever meet who has a drug cartel to thank for getting them out of a bad. [00:04:51] Speaker A: I was going to say big thank you note to the drug cartel. That story in and of itself. Oh, my gosh. All right, so, blessing in disguise. I call those gifts wrapped in sandpaper. It's like. Wouldn't think so. Right? So now you have learned that you could pay your own way. And now I'm curious. Your best friend, was she in the cult, too, in California? [00:05:16] Speaker B: No, she wasn't. She was in North Carolina. I met her at work. I actually met her. [00:05:21] Speaker A: No, see? God. All right, this is good. This is good. Divine intervention, I think. All right, so now you said no to him not coming back. Then what happened then? [00:05:35] Speaker B: So, all right, I got to play competitive beach volleyball. So I had a partner, and we traveled, and we made enough money to pay the hotel bill, the barbell and the gas bill. And I started to figure out, how do you be an adult? Because I never had to make a decision. My father had made decisions, and my husband made decisions. Never made decisions. [00:05:51] Speaker A: Right. [00:05:51] Speaker B: So I had to start figuring out, what does it mean to be a grown up? What does that look like? And then I guess it was about five years later, maybe a little more than that. I made my own mistake, okay? I married a narcissistic, closeted, bisexual. Zero out of five stars do not recommend. [00:06:07] Speaker A: Okay, thanks for the advice. How did you find and how did you end up in that? [00:06:13] Speaker B: Well, so I met him at work. [00:06:15] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:15] Speaker B: And I was naive. I let him do the love bombing thing. I believed because I grew up so poor, I believed that because he was willing to spend money on me, that he loved me. [00:06:25] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:06:26] Speaker B: It was not a good situation. Okay? [00:06:29] Speaker A: It's the only tool. You didn't know any better. [00:06:31] Speaker B: I didn't know. And looking back, I'm like, how did I miss the red flags? [00:06:35] Speaker A: Wow. [00:06:35] Speaker B: But I was so unsure of myself that I believed him when he said certain things. [00:06:43] Speaker A: Of course, I understand. [00:06:44] Speaker B: Good things came out of good. Good. He moves me from Charlote, where I have a network, and I have people headhunting me and I have jobs. He moves me to Long Island. I get to Long island, and I'm just a pretty girl with a high school diploma. I can't even get a job interview. No one will talk to. [00:07:01] Speaker A: Oh. [00:07:03] Speaker B: He then promptly took a job in London, England, but left me on Long island to keep his tax status here in the US. [00:07:09] Speaker A: You've got to be. Wow. [00:07:10] Speaker B: So now I'm living. [00:07:11] Speaker A: There's your narcissistic piece right there. [00:07:14] Speaker B: I can't get a job, and he says to me, we don't need your silly money anyway. Why don't you just go to college? [00:07:21] Speaker A: He said that to you? So now the first ex kicks you out because of the cartel, gives you some enlightenment, and now another opportunity. I love that. All right, go ahead. Interrupted. [00:07:35] Speaker B: I, at 32, go to college for the first time. Yay. [00:07:39] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:40] Speaker B: And while I'm going to college, I'm also doing executive arm candy wife responsibilities. So I'm periodically flying to Europe to host wine tastings and dinner parties. [00:07:49] Speaker A: Oh, gosh. [00:07:50] Speaker B: Doing all of that schmoozing that happens when you're married to a very high level executive. Okay, so I'm doing that while I'm going to college. Wow. I got an undergrad, a master's, and a doctorate in six and a half. [00:08:02] Speaker A: Years, and he was still out in London for those six and a half years. [00:08:06] Speaker B: He was in Europe the whole time. [00:08:07] Speaker A: The whole time. I love it. Okay. [00:08:09] Speaker B: I was flying back and forth. I've been miserable in the most beautiful places on earth because I get it. Brag about traveling, but I hated to actually travel. [00:08:19] Speaker A: Okay. [00:08:19] Speaker B: But it gave me a lot of worldly experience, a lot of cultural and international experience, because I was flying and going to these events and talking to very powerful men, all of that kind of thing. So fast forward. I finished my degree. Just as I'm finishing, he gets transferred back stateside. [00:08:37] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [00:08:38] Speaker B: And it becomes very clear very quickly, this relationship is not tenable if we live on the same continent. That is not a thing. [00:08:45] Speaker A: No. [00:08:46] Speaker B: And I was sitting on St. John on the beach when he said to me, I don't know who the hell you think you are. Nobody gave you permission to write a book because I was turning my dissertation into my first book. [00:08:57] Speaker A: So you're in the middle of writing it. And he says that. [00:09:01] Speaker B: He says, no one gave you permission to write a book. No one's going to want to read. [00:09:04] Speaker A: What you said, oh, there's your narcissistic again. Okay. [00:09:08] Speaker B: And he threatened to take my passport away and leave me there. [00:09:13] Speaker A: Oh, really? Okay. [00:09:14] Speaker B: Yeah. But I just realized, you know what? This is not going to work. And I said to him, look, he was wanting to move to Florida anyway. I'm like, you go, we'll figure it out. I'm out. We're not doing this. And so then my lawyer says to me, you cannot start a business. You cannot finish this book. You cannot do anything until this divorce is final, because anything that you do, he then gets to have rights to. [00:09:39] Speaker A: Oh, interesting. Is that good advice? [00:09:43] Speaker B: Well, it was advice that I took. [00:09:45] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:45] Speaker B: For a year, I basically sat on my hands. I did work on my book, but I didn't publish it. I didn't run the business. I bought him out of anything that he had invested in as far as my business goes. [00:09:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:57] Speaker B: So the divorce is finally final, and now I have to figure out, how do I run a business? How do I find clients? What does this look like? I don't know how to do this. And I really thought that I would just publish my book and put out my shingle and I would have clients. It did not work out that way at all. It was so much harder than that. [00:10:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Right. All right. So now he's gone, you're on your own, the book is out, and you're working on your business. What changed to put you where you are now? Because I know things are different. [00:10:34] Speaker B: Things are different now. So I started doing speaking engagements, reaching out to organizations. [00:10:42] Speaker A: How'd you do that? Not knowing. [00:10:44] Speaker B: I just started asking for you. I attended a thing that turned out to be scammy, but I learned a little bit from it, at least. [00:10:51] Speaker A: Okay. [00:10:52] Speaker B: I just started asking people. I was so naive. I didn't know that you didn't just reach out to organizations and say, hey, I'd like to speak at your event. [00:10:59] Speaker A: Right. And I want you to pay me, too. [00:11:01] Speaker B: Right. I started doing some of that, and I did some speaking engagements for free. [00:11:07] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:07] Speaker B: Which I would never do now, because not now. Experience. Now. Now I never would. But here's a tip. I'm going to give you a tip. If you want to do speaking, anytime you're in front of an audience, make sure it's in your contract that you're allowed to record it and set up your own camera. [00:11:23] Speaker A: Beautiful. [00:11:24] Speaker B: That way you can repurpose it. You have evidence that you're a speaker. Never, ever speak to an audience without recording it. [00:11:32] Speaker A: That's a good point. Very good. [00:11:33] Speaker B: That was something I learned to do really early on, and then I had little speaker reels, and I could put that on my website and do different things like that. [00:11:41] Speaker A: Good. [00:11:42] Speaker B: And that turned into, now I had organizations hiring me come in and do some leadership, do some communication, conflict resolution. And that's kind of how my business started. And I wrote my second book. But you know what happened in 2020? It all went away. [00:11:57] Speaker A: Jeez, that 2020, that keeps coming up. Okay, so what happened? I kind of know. [00:12:02] Speaker B: So I had my three books I had written by 2020, my current husband, who's a really great guy for me, I have amazing. [00:12:10] Speaker A: Yeah. The third time was certainly a charm. I love that. Good for you. Good for him. [00:12:14] Speaker B: Really good guy. Really amazing guy. Good. We had speaking engagements lined up. We had trainings lined up. We had book signings lined up. We had all this stuff lined up, and within three weeks, it disappeared. [00:12:27] Speaker A: Unbelievable. Just like that. And you were doing a podcast, too at the time, right? [00:12:31] Speaker B: I hadn't started my podcast. I was doing musings of the moment, which is just me on video, but I started the podcast yet. [00:12:39] Speaker A: All right, so, again, you keep finding these silver linings. So I know how many episodes you have on your podcast. I think we talk 600. So something happened in 2020 when you lost all the speaking and stuff. So tell me, how did you find gold out of this? [00:12:59] Speaker B: So, in 2020, I really had the opportunity to say, what kind of business do I want to rebuild? [00:13:04] Speaker A: Okay. [00:13:05] Speaker B: Because the business I started was basically coming out of the ashes of my second marriage, and I was single, and I was like, I'll fly anywhere. I'll speak anywhere. I don't care. Now I'm married to a really good guy. I have a great dog. I teach to do circus tricks. We like to hike. I want to be able to be home. [00:13:23] Speaker A: Right. [00:13:23] Speaker B: But I had this business that was built on me being. [00:13:26] Speaker A: Not being home. Yeah, absolutely. [00:13:28] Speaker B: So in 2020, I got to say, okay, what does it look like to build a business where I can actually be here? Well, that doesn't include corporate training, public speaking stuff, because you have to be on site. So I started looking at what part of my business do I love a lot that I can do here? And part of that was the one on one, really concierge, intimate coaching that I do. [00:13:50] Speaker A: Sure. [00:13:51] Speaker B: And so I started looking at that, like, how do I make that work? But what I realized is not having the corporate training and public speaking, I was intellectually lonely. I missed the conversations that you have in public. And that's where my podcast came from, the desire to create, which is why my podcast is four people, one topic, 10 minutes. [00:14:11] Speaker A: Oh, wow. Okay. [00:14:13] Speaker B: So it's a panel discussion, okay. Where I bring people together and I ask interesting questions, and then ask people, like, tell me what you think. And we talk for just 10 minutes. [00:14:24] Speaker A: And they don't know the questions ahead of time. [00:14:26] Speaker B: It's like they get the question the day before, day before. [00:14:28] Speaker A: So I have a little bit to prepare, but you. I love it. All right. And that's gone. That you've enjoyed that. [00:14:39] Speaker B: I have been enjoying that at 600 episodes. I'm kind of at the point where I'm like, I may need to step back just for a second and kind of figure out what do I want it to look like going forward. But it'll be three years. [00:14:51] Speaker A: Congratulations on three years. [00:14:53] Speaker B: I've been doing five of them a week. Wow. [00:14:55] Speaker A: Congratulations on that. So the speaking piece during COVID did you do any virtual speaking to keep you, like. [00:15:04] Speaker B: I did a little bit of virtual speaking. Yeah, I did a little bit of it, although not nearly at the level that I had planned. [00:15:12] Speaker A: No. Are you doing speaking now away from home, or you've totally cut that out of your thing? [00:15:17] Speaker B: It's one of those things that if the opportunity is right, I won't say no. But I also don't go, like, I'm not knocking down doors. [00:15:25] Speaker A: Okay. It comes to you, and it feels right. Well, I mean, that's a great position to be in now, because now you can pick and choose what's best for you in your life, your current situation. That is an unbelievable, amazing story. And you were able to find the silver lining, which, you know, what do you think that's, like, a learned thing to find, the silver lining? Or is it an art or is it your mindset? Or what is it? Because you seem to be able to do that pretty well. [00:15:54] Speaker B: The thing is, I don't think you find silver lining in the moment. I think in the moment, what you find is an option. Give me anything. Let me figure out how to make this work. [00:16:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:16:03] Speaker B: And it's only in hindsight that you can go, oh, look, that was the silver lining there. If you're in the middle of a really challenging, chaotic situation, don't say to yourself, I have to find a silver lining. That's just putting so much pressure. Pressure in chaos. Find a way out. [00:16:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:16:21] Speaker B: And then figure out what the silver lining was and what you learned and what you took away from it later. [00:16:26] Speaker A: So I love that. It seems as if in your vocabulary, there is no retreat. It's find a way out. Right? Because you could have easily had this victim or blame mindset, being born into a cult, being told you're going to do this, and it's like, why me? Why me? Why me? Because you didn't have a choice. Do you ever in your life have that blame and victim mindset? Or did you know it was on your makeup? [00:16:51] Speaker B: I never did. And I just recently, within the last week, had a conversation with my mother because I told her. She didn't realize I was in a lot of parties where there was cocaine on the table, lines of cocaine. I never got into it it was never my thing. And part of it for me is I could have become someone who was rocking in the corner, doing high on cocaine. I had the opportunity to be that person. [00:17:16] Speaker A: Right? [00:17:17] Speaker B: I never did. Is that because I have some strength of character? I don't know. All I can tell you is that was never the choice I made. [00:17:26] Speaker A: Yeah. Whatever higher power we believe in, I believe that's there with you and it helps build that character. Now, is mom and dad, are they still in that cult? You talk to them? [00:17:40] Speaker B: Here's the thing about my parents. Yeah, I know my parents love me. They are misguided. [00:17:46] Speaker A: Misguided what? [00:17:47] Speaker B: They believe they're misguided in what they think that my role in life as a woman should be. [00:17:53] Speaker A: Right. [00:17:53] Speaker B: They're misguided on a lot of things. [00:17:55] Speaker A: Right. [00:17:56] Speaker B: But I know they love me. [00:17:57] Speaker A: They do love you. [00:17:58] Speaker B: I do have conversations with them. I just steer clear of any conversation topics that are going to be, I don't know, what's a good word? [00:18:09] Speaker A: Direct, controversial, whatever, anything. [00:18:14] Speaker B: We stick to safe topics and I respect them and I don't let them tell me how to live my. [00:18:21] Speaker A: Now you're, you're still in Long island or New York area? [00:18:24] Speaker B: No, I live outside of Philly now. [00:18:26] Speaker A: Oh, okay. So now you're in the. How'd you meet, if you don't mind me asking? Third time's a charm. How did you meet your current husband? I always love hearing stories like, oh, yeah. [00:18:35] Speaker B: So Russ is a former competitive bodybuilder and trainer on the Mr. Olympia tour. [00:18:39] Speaker A: Wow. [00:18:39] Speaker B: And we met in the, oh, it's a great story because I had to have ask him out four times. [00:18:47] Speaker A: I love. All right, this is good. All right, go ahead. You had to ask him out four times. [00:18:52] Speaker B: Here's the funny thing. Russ is a great guy, but he doesn't notice when people hit on him. I've seen people hit on him and it goes right over his head. [00:19:00] Speaker A: I love that. I love it. [00:19:02] Speaker B: So the very first time I said to know, you and I should have coffee sometime. We could talk about our businesses. We could see if they could help each know. Just something super casual. I was like, let's just have coffee. He says to me, I don't think our businesses can help each other. [00:19:17] Speaker A: I thought he was. He doesn't drink coffee, but I don't think. Way to go, Russ. Playing hard to get, you thought. Playing hard to get, not clueless. [00:19:26] Speaker B: I just thought he didn't want to have coffee. I'm like, all right, no coffee. [00:19:29] Speaker A: Fine. [00:19:30] Speaker B: So then the second time, I hear him talking to somebody else about having had some wine over the weekend. So I come up to him and I go, you know, I got several bottles of wine in the divorce and I don't have anybody to drink them with. [00:19:43] Speaker A: That's a little more obvious than the coffee. Okay. And how did he get out of. [00:19:47] Speaker B: He says to me, that's too bad. [00:19:50] Speaker A: Oh, that's hilarious. That's too bad. And you're like, jeez. [00:19:58] Speaker B: Oh, he's a dense one. All right, so third time, he had told me about a event that the chamber of commerce was having. [00:20:08] Speaker A: Okay. [00:20:08] Speaker B: And I thought, okay, this is my chance for him to not see me in gym clothes, right? [00:20:12] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. [00:20:13] Speaker B: So I show up in business clothes with my hair done and whatever, and I see him there and I walk over and I kiss him on the cheek. And I'm like, hey, it's really good to see you. How are you doing? We have a little chat, and then I say, all right, well, I'll see you after the event. Let's reconnect. And he says, absolute. All right, fine. So I go and I network and I do the thing, and it starts winding down and I start looking for him. Oh, no, he left without saying goodbye. [00:20:40] Speaker A: No. [00:20:45] Speaker B: Saying goodbye. [00:20:46] Speaker A: Oh, yes. [00:20:47] Speaker B: All right, so fourth time, there's a grand opening for a little bar restaurant thing that is happening nearby. And I'm at the gym and I say to him, hey, did you see this grand opening? It could be a fun thing to do, whatever. And he kind of just blows it off. I'm like, all right, fine. A couple of days later, he says to me, hey, can you send me the information about the grand opening remembered. [00:21:09] Speaker A: Okay. [00:21:09] Speaker B: And I thought, he is going to take somebody else. Fine. So I send him an email and I write this super flirty, oh, here's the thing. This is what's going on. And he's a website designer, graphic designer business. And I'm like, they clearly need a designer because their website is not very good. But here it is, like, super flirty. I get back two words. He says, I'm in. I don't know what that means. [00:21:37] Speaker A: I love it. Oh, gosh, I'm in. Okay. [00:21:41] Speaker B: So we go back and forth a little bit, and I finally figure out that, yes, he wants to go with me. We're going to do this thing. So we decide I'm going to meet him at his place, and then we're going to go together to this grand opening bar thing. So I arrive at his house and my hair is done. My makeup is done, my lashes are done. I have on my leather jacket, I've got on my skinny jeans. I look like the blonde bombshell that I can be. [00:22:06] Speaker A: Yes. [00:22:07] Speaker B: And he opens the door and goes, are you ready to go? No, I came here to get ready. [00:22:13] Speaker A: Yes. Oh, my gosh. Not, you look beautiful. Okay, you ready to go? [00:22:20] Speaker B: We get to the place. And now you have to remember that Russ grew up in the area where we are so people know him there. [00:22:27] Speaker A: Okay. [00:22:28] Speaker B: He has been single for about twelve years. He is not a serial dater. He does not, obviously, because he doesn't even notice. [00:22:34] Speaker A: He doesn't even get it when someone's hitting on him. Yeah. [00:22:36] Speaker B: Right. So we're walking through the parking lot and this person who knows him drives by and rolls down the window. Really? And goes, Russ. And Russ is like, hi. And keeps going, all right, fine. We get in and we sit at a high top table. Multiple people came up to our table and we're like, hey, Russ, how are you? What's going on? It was like a networking event. And I'm like, we're trying to have a date here. [00:23:01] Speaker A: Oh, my. [00:23:03] Speaker B: Because people weren't used to seeing him out. [00:23:05] Speaker A: No. With somebody. Yeah, right. Did he know it was a. [00:23:10] Speaker B: Don't think. I don't think either one of us knew it was a date. [00:23:12] Speaker A: Okay. [00:23:13] Speaker B: He just thought we were like, out. I go to the bathroom and this guy follows me to the bathroom and is like, hey, what's your deal with that guy? Because I'm interested. Can I get your number? And I'm like, and this is a huge guy, right? I'm wearing heels and heels. I'm 6ft tall. This guy's towering over me and he's basically backed me into a wall. And I'm like, yeah, no, that's. No, three guys hit on me. That. [00:23:38] Speaker A: No. [00:23:39] Speaker B: And I'm thinking, I'm thinking this guy's going to leave me in this bar. This is a Disney. [00:23:43] Speaker A: Yeah, that's right. He won't say bye, right? [00:23:45] Speaker B: So I said to him, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I don't know what everybody's deal is. And he says to me, robin, when you bring the best looking woman into a bar, she's going to get hit on. It's fine as long as you leave with me. [00:23:58] Speaker A: Wow, somebody woke him up. [00:24:00] Speaker B: I'm like, oh, well, that's cool. [00:24:04] Speaker A: Wow, Russ. The last three times. I love it. [00:24:08] Speaker B: Comes in the clutch, right? [00:24:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:11] Speaker B: So we started dating a little bit pretty quietly. We didn't want the whole gym to know dating. [00:24:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:17] Speaker B: And then we went to a birthday party for one of his friends. And here's another key point. I'm three inches taller than Russ is barefoot. [00:24:24] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:24:25] Speaker B: But I love to wear heels. And so I'm wearing heels. We're at this party, and his buddy comes up to me and goes, why are you wearing heels? And before I can open my mouth, Russ turns around and says, because she looks damn good in he. [00:24:39] Speaker A: What a comeback. This is like the most unbelievable comeback in the history of dating. All right, good, Russ. All right. Congratulations. You know what? If you weren't a resilient woman, oh. [00:24:55] Speaker B: We would never been together. [00:24:56] Speaker A: Oh, my God. You tried four times. Jeez. Well, good. I love happy endings. That's good. Yeah. [00:25:04] Speaker B: He's a great partner for me. He's a phenomenal guy. He's also a good graphic designer, website designer, artist person. [00:25:10] Speaker A: Good stuff. [00:25:11] Speaker B: Anybody needs anybody, send them to Russ. [00:25:13] Speaker A: I love it. I love it. So let me see anything else you want to say about your business before I get to my final two questions, which I can't wait to ask you. [00:25:23] Speaker B: So the interesting thing about my business is that everything the story I've told you culminates in the fact that I work with mostly men. Men that are about 40. About the time they realize they're not invincible and who are very powerful and in their own right, but very private. And it comes from all of the work that I've done and being the executive arm candy and all of that kind of thing, I get to work with very powerful leaders because I have resilience and a background in business, and I understand how hard life can be for them. [00:25:58] Speaker A: Wow. [00:25:59] Speaker B: Fortunate that way. [00:26:00] Speaker A: Absolutely. It's very welcoming for them to have somebody like you. So tell me, for people who don't know what MacGyver is, tell me how your mental MacGyver. [00:26:08] Speaker B: So I had a client who I was talking to about something, and we were working, doing some things and working on something, and he says to me, robin, all you need is a button, some string, and some bubblegum, and you can make it work. And I laughed and said, oh, yeah, I'm like a mental MacGyver because I have such a deep toolbox of skills. And he had just exited a marketing business. What was it? Pr marketing and pr business. And he said to me, you need to use that. That is exactly what you do. [00:26:38] Speaker A: It is. [00:26:38] Speaker B: You have such a deep toolbox. I said, so it's like a swiss army knife of skills. He's like, yes, you're a mental MacGyver with a swiss army knife of skills. [00:26:46] Speaker A: I love that. I absolutely love that. [00:26:48] Speaker B: I blend the space between therapy, where you might have a therapist who says, well, how do you feel? So much more than that. And executive coaching, which is about leadership and communication and conflict resolution and mental toughness. [00:27:00] Speaker A: Right. [00:27:01] Speaker B: And because my degree, I didn't get to mention this, my degree is in business psychology with a concentration in high performance. [00:27:08] Speaker A: Whoa. I didn't know they had something like that. Jeez, that's awesome. [00:27:12] Speaker B: Yeah, I blended all. [00:27:16] Speaker A: What was it? Business psychology with a concentration and concentration in high performance. [00:27:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:23] Speaker A: I love that. [00:27:23] Speaker B: I'm a sports psychologist. In addition to everything else, you still. [00:27:27] Speaker A: Do competitive beach Volleyball? [00:27:30] Speaker B: My brain thinks I can. My knees think. That's right. [00:27:35] Speaker A: Well, I lift, I bike ride and. [00:27:38] Speaker B: I hike and I teach my dog circus tricks. [00:27:40] Speaker A: Does Russ still lift competitively? [00:27:43] Speaker B: He does not lift competitively, but he also does lift. We built out a Covid gym in our basement, so he does lift every day. [00:27:50] Speaker A: Good for you guys. You need your own reality show, the two of you. I'm telling. Watch. [00:27:55] Speaker B: I think it would be boring. We hike, I garden, I teach the dog to do interesting. [00:28:00] Speaker A: It could be like a mix of, like, a Seinfeld show where it's a show about nothing, but it's a reality show I love. [00:28:06] Speaker B: So. [00:28:06] Speaker A: All right, so I could talk to you all day, but I have two questions for you before the audience find out how to find you. All right, so, Dr. Robin, you have an opportunity to sit down with young seven to ten year old Robin, and you want to give her advice about life. What are you going to tell her? [00:28:26] Speaker B: I'm going to tell her how smart she is and how much she should trust herself and how she shouldn't believe other people when they tell her that she's average or useless or not important. I so wish it took me until I was in my mid thirties for me to realize that I'm actually a reasonably intelligent human being. [00:28:46] Speaker A: Yes, you are. [00:28:47] Speaker B: I wish I had been told that when I was younger. [00:28:50] Speaker A: That's beautiful. All right, switch hats. You're now sitting down with young Robin, the young entrepreneur, young businesswoman. And when you want to give her advice about business, what are you going to tell her? [00:29:05] Speaker B: I'm going to tell her be brave. Be as brave as you can, and don't worry about what you don't know. I spent a lot of time early in my business feeling stupid, like, oh, I don't know this. I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to make this work. The impostor syndrome, which is what my TEDx talk is about. I would tell her, go learn, try, do the things. And I was so afraid that I wasn't going to make it, that I wasn't as bold as I could have been. [00:29:38] Speaker A: Okay, that's great advice. Well, you did make it, and you are making it. The audience has certainly captured the Essence of Dr. Robin Odegaard. And audience, you definitely have to reach out to Dr. Robin. She's definitely worth it. All right, so here's an opportunity, folks. You can book a. I love how she does this. Book a hello conversation on her website, mentalmager.com. M-E-N-T-A-L. MacGyver. Macgyver.com. So right on the site, you can book a hello conversation, which is definitely worth it. After you have that conversation, and I'm going to say you're going to feel inclined, you could then book what Dr. Robin calls a powerful conversation. Now, here's a cool thing here. Now, it's like you have the option whether you want to pay for this powerful conversation. It's called a pay what you think it's worth. I love that. So definitely please book a hello conversation with Dr. Robin. And afterwards, you get to decide if you want to have one of those powerful conversations. How'd I do? Did I get all that right? [00:30:54] Speaker B: Yeah, you did. Really well. I love to pay what you think it's worth option. [00:30:58] Speaker A: I do, too. [00:30:59] Speaker B: It allows people to have a conversation with me and benefit from it without feeling like, how much is this going to cost me? And then they can decide at the end what they think it's worth. [00:31:08] Speaker A: Yes. And I forgot to tell them that. It's a two hour powerful conversation, guys. All right. So, Dr. Robin, I am so grateful you're in my life. I got to thank Steve, Ramona for introducing us. You are a wonderful human being. Please continue to do what you're doing because you are giving so much value to every human being you touch. So make sure you keep doing it. All right? And this is not the last time we're talking. We definitely need to keep. [00:31:35] Speaker B: Oh, it better not be. [00:31:36] Speaker A: Absolutely. All right. Well, Dr. Robin, thanks again for coming on. I really appreciate you. [00:31:41] Speaker B: Absolutely. Thank you for having me. [00:31:43] Speaker A: Oh, it's my pleasure. Be well, everybody. Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it. If you find yourself immersed in adversity and would like to find support from other men in times of struggle, please become a member of my men's supporting men collaboration tribe by emailing me at [email protected] expressing your interest. And I'll get in touch with you. Speak to you soon. Bye.