Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: The podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Duraney and I'm your host.
Today's guest is Stefan Buys. Stephan Baez is the founder of Blue Line Spectrum Safety, a training and consulting organization dedicated to improving interactions between law enforcement, first responders, and individuals with autism and other developmental disabilities.
With more than 20 years of law enforcement experience, Steffen has served in various roles as a patrol officer, detective school resource officer, supervisor, and trainer. He holds a master's degree in Public Safety Administration and a bachelor's degree in Criminal justice, along with multiple certifications in crisis intervention, team instruction, autism awareness training, and emergency preparedness for individuals with disability.
Stefan is a nationally recognized expert who has trained thousands of police officers, educators, and public safety professionals across the United States. His specialized programs focus on recognizing signs of autism and developmental disabilities, effective communication and de escalation strategies, crisis response and emergency planning for vulnerable populations, reducing victimization risks, and improving safety outcomes. In addition to leading Blue Line Spectrum Safety, Steffan serves as Director of Safety and Security for a large school district, where he develops inclusive safety plans and emergency protocols to protect all students.
Steffan's dedication to improving safety for vulnerable populations has earned him numerous honors, including 2019 Juvenile Officer of the Year, Illinois Juvenile Officers Association 2021 Missing Children's Law Enforcement Award, U.S. department of Justice.
He also serves as a Team Adam consultant for the national center for Missing and Exploited Children, assisting law enforcement agencies nationwide in child abduction and exploitation cases.
Stefan is married and is the father of three sons, two of whom have autism. Stefan has extensive experience through his personal and professional life in interacting with individuals with autism spectrum disorders. His mission is simple to bridge the gap between public safety and the autism community by providing practical, real world strategies that save lives and foster understanding.
Enjoy the show. Stefan. It's great to see you my friend.
[00:02:44] Speaker A: It is great to see you again, Drew. I appreciate the opportunity to have be a guest on your podcast.
[00:02:49] Speaker B: Oh absolutely. And it's a honor for me to have you. And I was. I don't know if it was on a coincidence or what, but I was on a networking thing yesterday for Suzanne Taylor King and the person who introduced me to you was there was Troy Seaward. So I always thank the person who introduces me to my guest. So. So Troy, thanks for the introduction to Stefan, my friend.
I really appreciate it.
So I always talk about in the beginning how when we're kids, we're young, we're taught by the people around us that life is linear. It's a straight path.
If we do A plus, B plus, C, D is going to happen, we listen to it. It's not a malicious teaching. It's what people hope for us. And for the most part, life is linear until it's not. Ultimately, an external circumstance will come out and and get in between one of those letters and kind of derail that straight path to a more circuitous one.
When that happens, that means adversity has reared its ugly head.
And when that happens, we, most of us have a choice to make. Do we run away from that adversity or do we face it head on? Now, I always say there's three types of men.
Man number one has a ton of blind spots. He doesn't notice that adversity. He just lives life the way he believes he's told he has to live it, and nothing changes. I don't have man number one on this show. Then there's man number two. Man number two notices the adversity, yet he's the victim. He says, life's doing this to me, not for me. And he doesn't change a thing in his life because he doesn't think he can. And on his deathbed, he's got a ton of regrets.
I don't have man number two on this show. I have man number three on the show. Like Stefan buys, man number three has a heightened self awareness. He sees the adversity, and he says, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. That adversity is not a barrier. That's an opportunity, and I'm a high performer. I'm going to take massive action and become stronger on the other side.
So with that context, Stefan, please reach back as far as you need to for that defining moment. Whether it was the tap on the shoulder, the whisper in the ear, or like what I needed 2x4 upside my head, that really transformed you from either man one or man number two to the man you are today and how that impacted you professional, personally, and professionally.
[00:05:14] Speaker A: Looking back that far, I mean, I look back at some of the things in my life and realized that there was so much adversity, but I didn't realize that it was adversity.
It was just, you know, curveballs that life throws at you, and you just kind of adjusted.
But for me, the really defining moments which put me on my path, where I'm at today, and there really are two.
The first one was 2013.
I have three sons, 18, 16, and 14.
And in 2013, my two youngest sons were diagnosed with autism.
And as my wife and I took on this life altering diagnosis, I didn't take it real well. I will tell you. My middle son was diagnosed. It was devastating because you think of everything you had planned for your boys as they grow older.
Going to college, playing sports, getting married.
In an instant. Sometimes those things you had expected for their lives are in essence gone in a heartbeat.
Same thing with my youngest son when he was diagnosed. Now my wife took his diagnosis a little bit harder.
But I will tell you, in the beginning I really struggled with her diagnosis.
My wife, the strong way she is, she took the reins, she took that role on and set out to be that advocate. It took me a little bit longer to get to that path, but eventually I did.
Um, and then in 2017 I spent 21 years as a police officer.
And in 2017 there was a video that came out out of Arizona and it was a young man with autism who was walking around a local park.
He's interaction with an officer and it goes really, really bad.
And what it was is his characteristics were misdiagnosed as somebody being under the influence. And it wasn't, it was characteristics of his disability.
And I remember my wife looked at me and said, you can change this, you can fix this.
And it really, that was really the path. I'd been a law enforcement trainer. I'd been training law enforcement for 15 years in different aspects of the job, whether it was use of force or gangs or all different sorts of things that I did. But this was that moment where I said, I can take some of the skills that I have and being an instructor and put it to being impactful.
And I look back at 25 years ago when I went to the police academy, there was no training on disabilities or autism or even really mental health. It just didn't really exist. I think I had like an hour training of mental health awareness in the police academy. And realizing that it's such a common occurrence in our field is law enforcement is that you're dealing with this. And we just were ill prepared. And when it came down to disabilities or autism, it really didn't exist.
So I put a class together. I did it for my own department because I could be the impactful with the officer, with the officers that I worked with on a daily basis.
Then another department called, then another department called, then another department called. And about 6,000 first responders later, I'm still doing this anywhere from three to four times a month where I'm training law enforcement about autism. Or disabilities, understanding those characteristics and understanding those behaviors, but even strategies on how to make sure that interaction is successful for that individual, but the officer as well.
And the longest time we didn't know what we didn't know. And I realized at that moment that I could be that change. I can make that impact and train law enforcement officers across the country so that these interactions don't happen again. And you look and they happen all over the country and I look at them and I dissect them and realize like, had those officers understood the disability or understood those characteristics or understood those behaviors, could that have interaction been different? Could that have not been that next viral video? The goal is where it's criticism of law enforcement.
And I really do see it from both sides of the fence as a parent and as, as a former, now retired law enforcement officer. And this is why I've done it. So I created a business and now I go all over the country training, work with a lot of different disability advocate groups like the ARC or the National Autism association.
The national center for Missing Exploited Children are organizations that I work with or have collaborated with in projects to kind of spread this message across the country.
[00:09:42] Speaker B: That's unbelievable.
That whole. There's a lot to unpack here. So I love. Thank you for the vulnerability and for the honesty here. And I see the connection obviously between the two reaching back. I'm thinking about, you know, when, when we. I have three children and my firstborn has autism, but he wasn't diagnosed till 14. So I had a very different, you know, journey as you. Because you learned how old were the, the two when you. They were diagnosed?
[00:10:10] Speaker A: My middle son's act was four and Andrew was just over two years old.
[00:10:15] Speaker B: So four and two. So. So you were in that boat of oh my gosh, I wasn't expecting this. What's next?
Right. Because. Right. You know, and then, and then you have people who. Well, actually that two. Two is very young to be diagnosed for it. So you, you were really on that cusp of, you know, we're all prepped when we are having children that it's going to be that straight path. Right. It's going to be the quote, unquote normal or typical path. And we're not prepped for the alternate path now. Not necessarily to scare us, but it would, would be nice that. To learn what that alternate path might be should something happen. But we're not trained there. And so you have that. What's next? Now you, you mentioned to me about your reaction about the. Your first boy being diagnosed. What was your reaction with the second?
[00:11:04] Speaker A: At that point, I kind of seen the early. I can have seen the red flags because we now knew what we were looking for. So when his diagnosis came through, I wasn't surprised. I had already kind of mentally prepared that that diagnosis was coming where my wife took it that one a little bit harder. And it was really. It was really the way it was when the boys were diagnosed. Like, we just handled it differently with different boys. Where my wife was the strong one for my middle son Zach, I was a little more of the stronger one for Andrew. But either way, my wife was that.
That trailblazer that pushed forward and took that role on and really like charged forward with it and really kind of in. In the beginning drug me along the path until I. It finally just clicked where like, you know, I can. There's so much that I can do to be able to support my own songs, but to support the community as well.
It was really that life changing moment for me where I'm like, I have to, I have to be their voice. Right. You know, they. I have to be their own, but I have to be their advocate when they can't be. And that was that.
That path that I ended up taking and to be able to do it, you know, the law enforcement end of. It's one part of it in training. But there's so many different avenues now that I've taken that more inclusive route, whether it's sports or procedures within schools, things like that. Like so many different avenues now that I've become, I guess since that advocate for sons as they've grown older.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: Right. I have to give credit to you and your wife and the strength of your marriage. And perhaps it was planned by a higher power that one of you was the strong one when one of you couldn't be and then vice versa because at least your children had the one strong parent and then the other one caught up for each one. Because I've. I've spoken to so many different parents and it's rare when both of them are on the same page as far as being the force.
But many times both of them are scared and don't. And, and no. And one doesn't take the lead of being proactive and that hurts the child.
So thank goodness, or thank God or whoever you believe in that they had a trailblazer parent for each. Each of the kids. And. And I'm happy to hear that.
[00:13:29] Speaker A: Yeah, it was.
We, in essence, we really do compliment each other. And like, you know, when you have children with Disabilities, the strain of your marriage is very difficult. And then throw in the fact that I was a law enforcement, a cop for 20, just under 23 years, which adds additional strain. And the fact that we've been married 21 years is the true test to our relationship. And there's been peaks and valleys, but we've always worked through them and we have always, you know, you peak at different times and you're supportive at different times, and it's just, it's. You talk about that linear path, and it's definitely not a linear path, and we do those. But we have always pushed through and we both really persevered through a lot of challenges in our lives and to kind of get where we are today.
[00:14:15] Speaker B: I tell you, it's. It's a wonderful story to hear how tight your family is. Now.
[00:14:19] Speaker A: The.
[00:14:19] Speaker B: You said the ages of the three children are what now?
[00:14:23] Speaker A: So my oldest son is 18. He is my neurotypical one. He is my stereotypical 18 year old. He's a senior, getting ready to graduate, looking at colleges.
My middle son, Zach is 16 and my youngest is now 14.
[00:14:34] Speaker B: Okay, so your oldest, your 18 year old. Now, what we often don't talk about is the impact on the sibling who is neurotypical by having two, you know, atypical, you know, neurodiverse siblings. How, how is his upbringing? How did he handle it? How did you guys treat him in a way where it was supportive and that he could still ask for help? Because a lot of. I've heard this term called the glass child, which I'd never heard before, but that's the child who's neurotypical who still goes through your normal aches and pains and, and stuff, but then is hesitant to mention it to mom and dad because they know that they're going through stuff with the special needs kid and they can break and be very fragile. What was the relationship with the oldest to the, to the younger two? And how did that.
[00:15:29] Speaker A: It's been, it's been great. And you know, as a dad, like every dad, you know, wants to coach sports or be there and do all those things. And I made sure that obviously the younger two boys required a significant part of our attention, whether it was through therapies and different things than all the things you go through when you have that autism diagnosis. But I, as parents, we did our best to support our oldest son as well, because things were important to him, whether it was sports or academics or, you know, I never, I never missed a season where I could coach him. I never missed A game where I could, you know, be there for.
We never missed an event at school.
We were always made sure we found that balance, that he didn't feel isolated or didn't feel like the. His younger two brothers were kind of, in essence, I don't want to say monopolizing our time, but really that on the forefront of. Because they did require so much additional effort on our part, where we always found that balance. We always needed an point to be able to get him out one on one with one of us, whether it was my wife or me or whatever it was.
But also included him in everything that the boys were doing as well. My younger two sons. So beautiful. I will tell you with another program that I get involved in is I coach an adaptive soccer program for kids with disabilities. And I became involved with it about eight years ago. It was a connection through the police department.
I got, you know, introduced to the. The guy who was running the program, fell in love with it, enrolled my two boys and began coaching.
But all of our have a buddy, so a neurotypical peer that will help assist them with play. So we incorporated my oldest son into work with my youngest son. So my youngest son is like, I want my, you know, I want my brother Nate to work with me. So we found ways to incorporate him and being that supportive older sibling to his younger brothers as well.
[00:17:24] Speaker B: So that's wonderful.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: Trying to find that balance a little bit.
[00:17:27] Speaker B: Yeah, I love that. Sir, what part of the country are you in right now?
[00:17:30] Speaker A: Chicago.
[00:17:31] Speaker B: You're in Chicago. Okay. That's. Yeah. Because we're going to definitely get to the professional piece of your life. But I still want to stick with the personal piece because I am very intrigued about the strength of your marriage. If you were to name one skill that you and your wife have as a married couple that has helped you persevere through all this, what would that skill be that you can share with others? Because, I mean, I ended up getting divorced. I probably would have gotten divorced anyway if we didn't have. Even if we didn't have a special needs case, because it just wasn't meant to be. But it would have been different. But I knew it put a strain on our marriage trying to find the diagnosis and all that. So I'm curious, the one strength that you two shared together as a couple.
[00:18:10] Speaker A: I think the biggest strength for the two of us is forgiveness.
We will both make. We both make mistakes. We both let other things get in the way, but we've always been able to work through them. And I think we Both have, in essence, short memories. Right?
This is the past. We've overcome this hurdle.
Let's move on. Where do we go from here and how do we strengthen it?
So I think that's probably our biggest strength, is we've always been able to kind of get through those curveballs that life throw at you, and we just kind of. It becomes the past. We focus on what's ahead of us, and we just move forward. And I think we complement each other in very different ways, where we peak at different times, where, in essence, our expertise is in certain areas, where I default to her for things, she defaults to me for things.
And I think the partnership that we do, that we have is our strength is one of our biggest strengths.
[00:19:12] Speaker B: I love that. And you know, what I've seen, and hearing this from you, is when each partner in the. In the.
In the marriage can forgive the other, it makes self forgiveness a lot easier.
[00:19:27] Speaker A: Yes, it does.
[00:19:28] Speaker B: Yes, does. I'm telling you.
That's great to hear. So for you married couple out there who are struggling, take a lesson from Stefan and. And his wife, please.
All right, so let's shift. And the boys are doing great now.
[00:19:43] Speaker A: Yeah, they're great. I mean, we have our ups and downs, but all as a whole, they're doing. They're doing great.
[00:19:47] Speaker B: All right, throw them three hugs my way.
[00:19:50] Speaker A: Okay, I will. I appreciate that.
[00:19:52] Speaker B: So let's. Let's shift into the professional. You. You were able to take a challenge, some challenging moments, and rather than keep them all inward and. And. And you decided to share and help others. So let's get to.
I know you said you were doing training. What type of training were you doing in the police prior to your wife with that defining moment of you can do some good with the training of autism?
[00:20:16] Speaker A: So I did a lot of stuff within the police department, So I spent 10 years in our gang unit. So I had a lot of experience with street gangs and gang investigations and things like that. So I actually had the opportunity to kind of go around the country and present on different strategies for gang suppression and gang identification, things like that.
So I had a little bit of background in it, and then in house, I did a lot of use of force, so defensive tactics, our active shooter protocols, things like that.
So I had a background in kind of that public speaking, and I've always kind of had that public speaking background.
But when the autism diagnosis came through and, you know, my wife and I watched this video and she just looked at me really calmly. She's like, you can fix this. She's like, you've been doing this for how long? She's. You can put a class together. You know, in essence, you would be the default expert because nobody else has that expertise. In both sides of that fence is lived experience and then in that field. And there was some training out there from autism. But, like, when you have a social worker or a speech pathologist or a therapist coming in to tell a bunch of cops, like, hey, this is what you need to do when you're dealing with somebody with autism.
You don't have that buy in. Right. Cops are the hardest audience you will ever train or ever teach anything to in the world.
Because we were so like, who's this guy? What does he know about doing the job? Well, I did the job, kind of. So I walked the walk a little bit.
[00:21:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:40] Speaker A: And I was always really good at kind of putting it in perspective of law enforcement interaction and said, like, how are you handling this? Or how are you handling a domestic? Or how are you handling this? Or, I know how we do this job. And here's what you're going to, you know, identify this as, but here's what's not to. And here's what to look for.
So having that both sides of that fence has been really beneficial in the fact that I can. I can talk to both sides of this.
[00:22:06] Speaker B: Speaking of both sides, is it safe to say that there were some police officers who welcomed this training and some who are initially resistant and then realized afterwards, thank you, Stefan, for doing this. I didn't realize I didn't know what I didn't know.
[00:22:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I see. I get a lot of that because I get, like. I almost start every class with, like, oh, grades. We're going to do eight hours of autism training. This is awesome. I like, like, sarcastically, and I'm like, I get it. I said, but when we're done today, he's like, you'll understand how impactful it is. And I've had, you know, I first started doing this training. Occasionally I would have an officer come up to me at the class and be like, you know, oh, I have a son with autism. Or I have a niece or nephew.
It was rare. Now almost every single class I have, I have somebody come up to me and say, I have a son, I have a daughter, and I've been doing this long enough where I've trained officers.
[00:22:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:55] Speaker A: And two years later, I'll come back in for a refresher training, and the office be like, listen. He goes, I sat through your class two years ago, and everything you said characteristic wise, describe my son. He's like. And I didn't know, he's like, so from when you were here the last time to where you're here today, he goes, we received our diagnosis. He's like, but I had no clue what I was looking at.
And I've had that in more than one occasion where I've had officers come up and be like, you just described my kid, my son, my daughter. And I didn't know that until sitting through this and now we've received our diagnosis.
So in that impactful is impactful that maybe that that child received an early diagnosis and gets those services earlier and some things are put in place and gets that support that's needed is great. And so I get it a lot. But yes, most cops are like, this is great. And I've had some cops are like disengaged. But I have other cops that were like, like, this was impactful. This was in essence life changing. Like, I look at things so much differently now. Yeah, yeah. You're not going to be able to.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: Reach everybody but you know, the ones you can reach. That must make you feel proud.
[00:24:01] Speaker A: Yeah, it's an awesome feeling. And to know that maybe somewhere down the road I have really changed the outcome of a negative interaction. Right. Maybe that officer, one officer out of the thousands that train says, man, I remember this from this training. I think this is something different. Let's shift our tactics. And you'll never know whether you prevented a. No, you know, a negative interaction from happening.
But it's maybe somewhere down the road, I. And the hope is, and why I do it on a daily basis or pretty regularly is that those officers that you never hear anything about. Right. Those interactions that go great that you never hear anything about, that's. What if I don't hear another. If I never heard or saw another negative interaction that had between law enforcement and our disability community, then that's great. If I don't hear anything, that's awesome. That's what I want to get it.
[00:24:52] Speaker B: I get it. But I still remember when we were growing up, at the end of every news program they would do a feel good story and wouldn't it be nice to have that nowadays where there's a feel good story about a police officer, you know, servicing and helping and all that. Now I know you have a story that's good. Refresh, refresh my memory. Wasn't there a story where you went with officers to a home and there was a sign on the front?
[00:25:17] Speaker A: Yeah. So I've had A few of those. So what we used to do, like a lot of what we would do.
[00:25:22] Speaker B: Is.
[00:25:24] Speaker A: More than training, at least from my own department where I worked, I wanted to create like an autism outreach program. So more, much more than training, but like build that relationship. So one of the things we did is we issued out like window clings for our families with loved ones with a disability. So when the officers arrived on scene, they could look at this window clean on the front door and be like, wait a minute, for somebody with a disability here, let's shift our tactics of how we do this. Or now we know what we're interacting with.
And we've had multiple incidents where officers arrive thinking we're getting called there for a violent domestic and we turn out it's not. It's just a child with autism that's going through what we call a meltdown, right? Just that loss of behavioral control. And it really just shifts the tactics.
So we've had several incidents where the officers have just realized that's what it was.
And potentially, you know, averting a critical, you know, a negative interaction.
One specific story I had, it was after I retired, we had a family that we had worked with a little bit in my community.
And I remember with my officers because I retired as a patrol sergeant. So the officers that I supervise, a lot of those guys have now been promoted to detective or now are sergeants themselves. And I remember a couple years, this is probably about a year ago, I got a call from one of the officers that I supervised, but he was now a sergeant. And they were responding to a house that we had been to multiple times. And I remember being at the house, house too. And they had an 18 year old son with autism and he could be very aggressive and violent and would be triggered. So when the fire department would respond, the fire department was like, you know, we almost always have to sedate him because we can't control him. It's combative.
And I remember the sergeant walked in and he was. The kid was kind of back in his bedroom pretty agitated and he realizes that the kid's got baseball stuff all over his bedroom.
And will, the sergeant at the time is like, we'll play college baseball. So we'll just started talking about baseball. It immediately changed the dynamics of the interaction because. And I always tell everybody, it's the power of distraction, right? If you know that preferred interest or restricted interest and you can capitalize on that, it diverts them from the crisis. And that's exactly what he did. He saw, he's like oh, this kid loves baseball. Let's talk about baseball. And within 15 minutes the kid's like, he's like, hey, are you ready to go to the hospital? He's like, yeah, sure, I'll go. He walked out and walked right into the ambulance and will call me that morning. He's like, oh my God. He goes, it worked. And I'm like, what worked? I'm like, what are you talking about? Explains to the story. And he goes. He goes. He goes, I just remembered you were saying it's like that power of distraction. I can. And I picked up on his like his preferred interest and use that as a de escalation strategy. It was just a wonderful story that he shared with me. I was long retired when he will called me. Nice. A lot of great relationship with those guys and they still call me. He goes, but it was, it was awesome. He goes. And the fire department was even like, like, how'd you do that? Like it was some magic wand. And it wasn't, it was just he slowed things down. He used some of that understanding of his disability, understanding of what his interests were and use that power of distraction to distract him from the crisis. And it was just a great interaction.
Even the fire department were like, man, we never come here where we don't have to like sedate him to get him to the hospital. And it was just. He walked right on voluntarily. It was so. It's a great story. So when you hear stuff like that. Yeah, that's when you know you're being impactful.
[00:28:34] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. You know, there's a story that another. There's somebody else who I've, I've interviewed who. And I don't know if he was a police officer, but he just did training for disabilities too. And he told me a story that he went with police officers to a home. There was a for sale sign on the front of the house and when they went in it was a mother and it was like an 18 year old young man with autism. And same similar scenarios what you talked about. But when they were leaving, the woman asked the police officer for a hug and he's like, well sure, but why do you. She goes, because I was gonna sell this home because I really can't afford it, but there's no other neighborhood who, where the police officers would have treated my son like that. So I'm gonna pull that sign off once you guys leave. And I thought that was such an impactful. I gotta find out who that was. Who told me that.
[00:29:23] Speaker A: Right?
[00:29:24] Speaker B: What's that?
[00:29:25] Speaker A: That was Troy.
[00:29:25] Speaker B: Was that Troy? That was Troy. You're right. It was Troy Seward. That story was Troy. Yeah, that was, yeah, that. I love that story. That's right. It was Troy. Yeah. Good. Okay. And it's. Troy's the one who introduced me to you, so I'm not surprised. So I love, I love that story. So both those stories are awesome. And you can tell how when you, when you have an open minded individual at a training course, they don't know what's going to stick.
But that stick thing that you said about distraction, that's stuck in that one officer's mind and that is very powerful.
[00:30:01] Speaker A: Yep. And that's, that's the goal of it. Right.
Is having that one thing that sticks or is impactful and that one strategy that might change the dynamics of an interaction is so important or you know, in a big area that I do address quite a bit is the wandering and elopement portion of autism. Because it's, it's significant and we know our individuals with autism are like 50% more likely to wander from a safe environment, home, schools, things like that. And you know, I follow this very, very closely. But with fatalities that occur in children with autism wanting elopement events like 92% of them drowned. And it's an attraction to water that's so significant.
And it's an area that I work with, with the national center for Missing Exploited Children. It's an area that I'm very involved with as well and training those officers. And we've had officers that have go, he goes, they're like, I went right to the body of water and the kid was standing at the front of the retention pod or the kid was just starting to go in or you know, those are those things that are impactful with it because you're, you're now saving lives.
And before I started understanding the disability, I didn't know that it was a thing and most officers didn't know that was a thing, that there's a strong attraction to water and these kids are not understanding those lack of consequences. Like, I love water, I want to go play in the water, but I can't swim.
And it's, I mean, it is. The statistics over the past, even 2024 and 2025 are staggering. We're averaging like almost seven children a month with autism that are drowning across the country. And it's up over the past two years. So it's a, it's another area that I'm really passionate about and kind of understanding that and even being involved in A school, school district now.
[00:31:40] Speaker B: Right.
[00:31:40] Speaker A: Safety, security, end of it. Like the first day of school we had a five year old with autism that went to a retention pot.
So I mean it's a very regular occur, very regular thing. So spreading the educational component is really, it's in essence could be life saving in some instances.
[00:31:53] Speaker B: Can be. Wow, I didn't realize that about the water and I mean My son's 23. We did. He was able to learn how to swim and he does have an attraction to water, but thankfully he's able to swim. And so yeah, the individuals who aren't able to learn how to swim, that is, that is something scary that, that. Thank you for letting us know that.
Well, certainly the audience has captured the essence of Stefan buys and they're going to want to get in touch with you, my friend.
Everybody. Stefan told me that his website's the best way to reach get in touch with him. It'll be in the show notes, but it's Blue Line B L U E L I n e spectrumsafety.com so you can reach Stefan through his website.
Is there anything else I missed or we didn't talk about that you will find impactful for the audience that you want to mention?
[00:32:41] Speaker A: I think one of the things, and it's the same lessons that I push to my own sons, life is not fair, right?
[00:32:50] Speaker B: It's not.
[00:32:51] Speaker A: And it is never going to go the way you want it to.
There will always be curves in the road or bumps in the road or roadblocks in front of you. And you can shut down and in essence play the victim, or you can find a way to overcome those obstacles and persevere. Because every time you address one of those roadblocks or curves or bumps in the road, it makes you stronger as a man.
It's one of those areas, especially with all three of my boys, that I push that forward. Like things are not going to be easy. And if you're waiting for somebody to hand you something, it is never going to happen. You have to go and control your own destiny and be impactful.
One of the biggest things with my, I've always said it with my boys and my wife too as well, is do something with your life where you can make an impact, where you can make a difference. If you change 10 people's lives for the good and those 10 people change 10 people in there and so on and so on and so forth. Look how you're impacting those 10 people, how much that has spread across the world.
And so even impacting 10 people, which, when you think of it, is a pretty small number. But if everybody impacts 10 people or makes a difference or has that impact on them, how much change you can actually make. So whatever you decide to do in life, be impactful, make a difference.
And when you have a mission or a cause, don't, don't stop like you will. You will hit obstacles, you will hit roadblocks, you will hear all. You'll be told no your entire life. And that's okay. Yeah, it's okay. People are going to tell you no. So. But don't stop. Persevere and push through it. And every adversity you experience in life is going to make you stronger.
[00:34:37] Speaker B: All right. I know, it's awesome. Awesome.
Message to the audience.
Two final questions. Now, the first question I'm going to ask you. I don't know if you'll have the same answer to what you just said, but let's say you're in your happy place or you like hanging out and you're sitting down with 7 to 10 year old Stefan Buys and you want to give him advice about life, what would you tell him?
[00:35:02] Speaker A: I think one of the biggest things I would tell myself at 7 to 10 is savor every moment because life goes very, very fast.
And you'll look back and blink and realize that where did 25 years go? Or where did 30 years go?
Don't be so lost in the end result that you miss the ride. And I think that was one of the. One of the biggest things for me is like, I was so, in many years, I was so h. Focused on my career and different things where sometimes I just didn't take a stop and take a look around and enjoy the moments. And as I've gotten older, I realized that those moments are probably the most impactful thing you'll have. So stop and enjoy the ride. Like, don't focus on everything that's ahead of you and how do I get to the next goal or how do I accomplish this? Like, sometimes savor what you've accomplished and enjoy the things that are the most important, like your family, your kids. Like I blink. My, my oldest is 18, he's looking at college and I feel like yesterday he was taking his first steps in the kitchen. So it goes very, very fast. But enjoy the ride and, and savor those impactful moments because they. They're gone very, very quickly and you'll look back at it. Don't miss them. Don't be so focused on certain things that you miss those amazing opportunities.
[00:36:23] Speaker B: So true. Wow, you hit me there. Enjoy the ride. All right, let's switch gears now. You're sitting down with young Stefan, the young entrepreneur, young businessman. You want to give him advice about business. What are you going to tell him?
[00:36:37] Speaker A: Take the plunge. I think it's one of the biggest things, is, like, starting a business is scary, right? Because you're worried, like, am I going to fail? And truthfully, you probably will.
That's just part of it. Not every business is a success. Not every business is going to go the way you planned it.
Be adaptable, right? Change things. If it's not working, fix it, and don't give up. Like, people get really disheartened very, very quickly about running their own business.
[00:37:06] Speaker B: And.
[00:37:07] Speaker A: You know, they're into it for a little bit and say, ah, this isn't going to work, and I cave it in. Don't. Because you will have ups and downs, but stay the course.
But don't be afraid to adapt as things change. And it's a really important thing. Like, I never had any intention of ever starting a business.
When I started training, it really was never the case. I'm like, I don't want to get paid for this. And people are like, your time isn't free, dude. Like, your time's not free.
And that's saying you're trying to make a fortune off of this. But, like, you have a level of expertise that most people don't have, and people will pay you to come and make sure they're. They're their officers, their dispatchers, their firefighters are prepared for these incidents. They're like, it's. There's nothing wrong with being running a business and, you know, making a living off of this as well.
So I. But, I mean, in the beginning, I'm not gonna lie, I felt guilty. Like, oh, no, I'll just go to a department, and I'll do it, you know, whatever. And people are like, you're crazy. Like, you're nuts. Don't do that.
And. And so that was one of the biggest things. But I'm like, you know, and find that level of expertise or something you're passionate about and run with it. And if you can turn it into a business, that passion will push you forward through some of those obstacles that you'll have.
[00:38:19] Speaker B: Beautiful, beautiful advice, my friend.
Well, I want to thank you for coming on, Stefan. I want to thank you for being the man you are, and you're a wonderful human being. You're doing some awesome things to help people. Keep doing it, man. And good luck to your family, lots of love and you take care of yourself.
[00:38:39] Speaker A: Drew. I appreciate the opportunity to be on with you. Thank you for all that you're doing in so many areas that you're being impactful too.
[00:38:45] Speaker B: Thank you sir. Everybody out there, please take care of yourselves.
Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it.
I'd like you to answer this question.
Are you living the life you want to live or are you living the life others want you to live? I'd like you to think about that for a second because I strongly suggest you live the life you want to live. If you want to learn more about what I stand for and my services and how I'm able to help many men get out of their own way, please go to my website at www.profitcompassion.com.
feel free to also email me at drewrophetcompassion.com I'd love to have a conversation with you.
Take care of yourself and choose to write your own story instead of letting others write it for you.
