Episode Transcript
[00:00:06] Speaker A: Welcome to From Caving in to Crushing it. The podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Durany and I'm your host. Today's guest is Anya Holzman and she is joined by her husband Dion. Renewed Anya has dedicated well over a decade to empowering high level professionals and business owners to excel in every aspect of their lives. With more than 3,000 hours of coaching experience, Anya Holzman has a proven track record of helping clients achieve peak performance, extraordinary wealth and abundance in their professional lives. Through a unique blend of coaching tools and skill building techniques. Anya's journey to becoming a top tier coach is truly inspiring. She spent the first 30 years of her life riddled with anxiety, terrified by conflict and struggling personally, academically, professionally. Despite these challenges, Anya's innate optimism and relentless focus on self improvement allowed her to turn her entire life around becoming the resourceful and resilient coach she is today. Currently, Anya has teamed up with her life partner and co conspirator Dion Rene to create a holistic wealth company where she guides ambitious business owners towards a life of profound meaning and satisfaction. Previously, Anya honed her craft as a master peak performance coach and business results trainer, working under the infamous Tony Robbins for almost seven years. Through her work she is very proud to be the responsible and responsible for several weddings, quite a few babies, the growth of many businesses, and most likely the increased longevity of many a client by helping them reduce stress and dramatically increasing life fulfillment. Enjoy the show. Hello.
[00:02:04] Speaker B: Hello.
[00:02:04] Speaker A: Hello. And this is very exciting. This is the first time I have two guests on the podcast and these two guests happen to be a lovely married couple. So we've got a lot of firsts here. So first I want to thank Anya Hulsman and Dion Hulsman for coming on. Thank you two for coming.
[00:02:26] Speaker C: Thank you for having us.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: It's a pleasure.
[00:02:28] Speaker A: And I customarily thank the individual or networking event where I met my guests and I met Anya through a networking hub assembly event virtually that is hosted by Frank Agen. So indirectly I'm going to thank Frank A for this introduction. And then when I had the chance of speaking with Anya on a Zoom call, I got to meet Dion as well. Dion and Anya are husband and wife and I said I'd love to have you guys both on and actually I think it was one of your guys ideas to have you both on which was a great idea. So thank you Frank.
And why did I want you guys on Well, I often talk about how two things. How when we grow up, we're taught that life is linear. Right. Sounds great. Life's a straight line. You do what we're supposed to do, A, B, C and D in that order, and everything's going to be fine.
That's a myth, and it's not a malicious myth taught to us. People try to protect us and hope that it happens that way. And life is linear until it's not. Inevitably, something's going to get in the way of those letters and cause our life to be moved more in a circuitous route.
And honestly, if it doesn't didn't work that way, you two probably would not have met.
We need those circuitous roots. Right. And so I also talk about how there's three types of people in this world. Men and women and the person number one. Human number one lives life through blind spots and just continually lives the way he or she lives, with no self awareness and just. That's it. And human number two is the one who notices that there's adversity and plays the victim card. It's, it's. This is happening to me. I'm not changing. This sucks. And I'm just going to go through life. I have you on because you guys are man and woman number three.
And those individuals are humans who know there's adversity there and have over time, moved from more of a fix to a growth mindset. And now we're starting to think that these challenges in life are not barriers. They're more opportunities to become a better person. And you've dropped the victim and blame mindset and are more of the I'm in control of my behavior mindset. And that's who you two are. So I thank you for coming on. And that's just to give you an idea in context why I wanted you on. So thank you.
So we're going to start with Anya.
If you could kindly reach back as far as you need to reach for that defining moment where there's either the tap on the shoulder or the 2 by 4 upside the head that you said to yourself, geez, Anya, there's a better way to live. And I'm going to take it on and I'm going to do something different. This is my defining moment.
[00:05:15] Speaker B: Thanks. Because it's such a good question. Because I actually lived the first quarter of my life, probably that's.
I'm just making an assumption that I'm 100 years old there. Up until I was about 25, I think I lived very Much in a victim mindset. And it was very much life happening to me and that I was the one who was disadvantaged and I was the one. Well, I actually identified. I identified myself by the awful experiences that I had. So there was this one moment in my life where I won't go into the details of the story, but basically somebody told me, anya, do you know that within five minutes of meeting someone, you tell them that your dad died?
And I was in absolute denial. I was like, no, that's not true. You're making it up. And then I find myself meeting a new person. And the first thing I want, wanted to say, you know, and my dad died when I was 17, and this was when I was an early adult, like in my early twenties.
[00:06:26] Speaker C: Right.
[00:06:28] Speaker B: I'm actually. That is actually true. I would share that with people to make myself sound interesting, like there was something interesting about me because I did not feel like I was a very interesting person. Like, I felt, like, found. I felt like I was struggling a lot in life. And so that was really big lesson for me. But I think the turning point for me, I would say that there are a few of them defining moments of my life. A really big one for me was when I was in my late 20s, around 27, 28, and I had a really bad rashes all over my face, which were scabby and red and inflamed.
[00:07:15] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:07:16] Speaker B: I had to put on a lot of makeup to try and cover it up. But then it really aged me. I used to get these hives all over my legs in the summertime, so I couldn't wear any short skirts or. Or shorts. And. And it was obviously quite distressing for me.
[00:07:34] Speaker A: Sure, absolutely.
[00:07:35] Speaker B: To go out in the world and, you know, like, it's the first impression you make.
[00:07:39] Speaker A: Right, right.
[00:07:41] Speaker B: Is through your appearance. And I went to dermatologist, I went to my gp. The GP couldn't do anything. I went to the dermatologist, ended up on antibiotics for three months. At the beginning, yeah, everything cleared up. And then I thought, okay, great, so I'm just going to stop taking the antibiotics.
Everything came back again. And so I went on the antibiotics again for another three months. And then I think my microbiome was so destroyed by these antibiotics that I ended up getting the flu. And I was really sick for two weeks. Not being that sick in years.
[00:08:18] Speaker A: Right.
[00:08:20] Speaker B: And guess what? In those two weeks when I was hardly eating anything, I think I was just eating chicken soup broth. Right.
I suddenly my clear. My skin cleared up completely and I looked fresh and gorgeous again.
[00:08:34] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:08:35] Speaker B: And I thought, this is crazy. Like, you know, how did this. How is as possible? And I managed to figure out that it was dairy that was causing allergic reactions in my body.
[00:08:46] Speaker A: Interesting. Okay.
[00:08:47] Speaker B: I tested it out again, ate dairy rash, started again, stopped eating dairy.
And it was the first time in my life where I, I thought, hold on a minute, I have some control here.
[00:08:59] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: I don't have to be a victim to this thing that is happening to me. I can make, I can change things. I'm actually intelligent enough to work a lot of this stuff out.
[00:09:10] Speaker A: Right.
[00:09:11] Speaker B: And. And that was hugely empowering for me and actually led me down a journey where I then wanted to study nutrition. I end up studying health coaching. That led me to studying coaching more broadly, life coaching.
I wouldn't have met Dion if I had been on that journey.
And can I add one more defining moment?
[00:09:37] Speaker A: Definitely. And then we gotta. I wanna dive into some specifics because this is a lot of stuff here. So. Yes, one more. I'd love to hear this one.
[00:09:45] Speaker B: The most recent defining moment has been understanding that I'm neurodiverse. So.
[00:09:54] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:09:55] Speaker B: I went through school struggling.
I had an enormous amount of self doubt. Like I told you before, I used to define myself by. By the awful things that had happened to me.
[00:10:09] Speaker A: Right.
[00:10:10] Speaker B: And because I felt like there were. I wasn't quite getting it in life. I didn't really.
My. My confidence was very low. I was a total pleaser. I didn't really know who I was.
And. And I struggled a lot. I struggled professionally. I did go and I got a bachelor's degree. I got a post postgraduate degree in education. But I struggled through all of that. I found it excruciatingly painful.
And then, and then a few years ago, I started trying to market myself and I bought course after course. We spent a lot of money on this stuff. And they kept failing. And I kept thinking, oh, it's these, you know, it's these courses that, you know, they're not that good. Or I, you know, I was making up all of these excuses, but by the third time, when the third one failed, I had to take a look at myself and go, okay, I am the common denominator here. They can't all be this bad. And I'm sure that they are helping people. So what's going on? And. And at the same time, this, this kind of coincided with our son being assessed for first autism, then for AD PhD.
[00:11:26] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:11:27] Speaker B: And I thought, you know, and I, I'm very. He is me and I am Him. And I realized, wow, there's all of this stuff here I didn't realize about myself. And coming to terms with that has been incredibly healing and empowering. And actually, my. My confidence has soared as a result of that, because now I can look at myself and go, wow, I got through all of that.
Absolutely not knowing that my brain isn't wired the same way.
[00:11:55] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:11:56] Speaker B: You know, average person.
And yeah, it's just been, oh, my.
[00:12:02] Speaker A: Gosh, this is like.
Thank you for. For those three defining moments because they res. All three resonate with me in some way, shape, or form.
I guess we. I'll start with the one you just mentioned, because my oldest son, who's 22, has level one autism, Asperger's spectrum. So I'm very familiar with the neurodivergent thinking, and he's taught me a lot and thinking differently. And so thank you for that. And once you embrace the strengths you have as a neurodivergent person, there are a lot of qualities neurodivergent individuals have that a lot of we regular people would love to have. So that's. Thank you for that. The second one would be the middle one you mentioned about the defining moment of realizing that it wasn't you, it wasn't the marketing course. It also wasn't you, per se. Once you understood that you thought differently and think differently, I'm sure then you can adapt what you learned in the marketing stuff to accommodate the way you learn. And it would have worked. Would have worked. But if you don't know what you don't know at the time, it's not going to happen.
[00:13:14] Speaker B: So the challenge was that I just didn't know what kind of support I needed there.
[00:13:18] Speaker A: We know you didn't know what to ask. Yeah, you don't know. And so that's powerful. The first one I love because that talks about the blind spots you had. You didn't know that you were defining yourself by the death of your father and that you weren't an interesting individual. And that's something you had to mention. Now, I. I still fall myself into that because it was just five years ago where I went through my four big things, and the one. The last one being my dad unexpectedly getting sick and passed away. So I get that because that tends to be my hook when I'm in a conversation. It's like people lean in more when I go into those four things that happen. So I get it. But the point there is that we don't know our blind spots until somebody points them out. To us, number one. And number two, we don't do anything about them unless we're ready, willing and able. So I think that's very powerful. How have you gotten. What did you do once you realized that the blind spot that you mentioned, the death of your father, each time you met somebody new, once you are aware that you were doing it, did you do anything about that or did you allow it to continue?
[00:14:31] Speaker B: No, I immediately stopped because I, I thought like, you know, for me it was like a rebellious thing. It was like, how dare you tell me who I am? And I'm not like, you know, so I fought back. But I noticed. What I noticed within me was that I had to bite my tongue. Each time I met somebody new was at the tip of my tongue. And I. And it was, you know, I had that self awareness, luckily to go, oh, I am doing that. I need to hold that back. And what was really interesting for me was that, you know, my dad died when I was 17. I'm 44 now, so I've got like a lot of years since then, but I've got friends that I've made say in the last five years or so who may not have realized at all that I had that kind of loss in my life. Like they, you know.
[00:15:26] Speaker A: Right, right.
[00:15:26] Speaker B: And for me, that, that's, that, that's been very telling. That, that part of me, that part of my identity, how I identified by the girl who'd lost her dad when she was.
[00:15:37] Speaker A: Right, right, right.
[00:15:38] Speaker B: That's gone. Like, that's really now in my history. I'm not that person anymore.
[00:15:42] Speaker A: Right, exactly. Yeah. And there's a difference too, about suppressing emotions versus harnessing, embracing them, putting them in their place and moving on. And that you've harnessed, embraced, put it in its place and moved on.
At least you addressed it. Because the suppressing of some of these thoughts is going to be hurt us.
[00:16:02] Speaker B: You know, what I will add to that is that obviously at that moment when I couldn't use that as a way to make myself interesting, I had to then become interesting in a different way.
[00:16:13] Speaker A: In a different way. Which leads me to when you met Dion. It was after you had stopped. Yeah, right. Because when you first met Dion, you didn't mention about your dad. Okay, so that was after you were 25.
[00:16:25] Speaker B: Yeah, okay. I met him when I was 33.
[00:16:29] Speaker A: Yeah, 33 years later. So this is great. So now we're going to transition over to Dion because one of my follow up questions will be about your son. And since he's Both of yours. We'll get to that after I hear Dion's telling story. So Dion, same thing. Reach back as far as you need to define to really find that defining or defining moments that got you to where you are now both individually and then we'll get to how you guys met and all that cool stuff.
[00:16:55] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. For mine, I don't need to reach that far back. It both relate to one sort of. Cause when a year after we met you were pregnant with my son, I was still in a very messy and painful divorce and I wasn't feeling well. We were going to go on vacation on Friday and the gp, it said it's best that you go and get a check in. And between Monday morning, 8:00 thinking, oh, we need to make a packing list of things to take on Friday and Tuesday is sort of lunchtime.
I went from thinking about the packing list to being diagnosed with an extremely aggressive form of cancer and an immediate heart problem. By that was about 15, 20% of my problem, depressed my heart level and needed immediate heart surgery and four bypasses.
[00:17:56] Speaker A: At such a young age.
[00:17:59] Speaker C: Yes. Well, I had my first heart attack. I'm not part of this, but it is true. At the age of 35.
[00:18:06] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:18:07] Speaker C: So health has always been sort of a concern.
But the.
[00:18:13] Speaker B: I was going to say you always put your health on the back burner.
[00:18:16] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Because I've always been extremely strong. I've spent 20 to 25 years sleeping four hours a night and be perfectly okay with it.
[00:18:25] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:18:26] Speaker C: Never.
[00:18:27] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:18:34] Speaker C: And I, I remember the second. So the, the cancer was at a quarter past eight and then. So that was a shock because I wasn't expecting that.
[00:18:44] Speaker A: Right.
[00:18:45] Speaker C: Called my dad, who was a retired doctor because he would be my go to person to talk and we talked about it. And then Tuesday, Monday afternoon came. Oh, you know, we did the pre op check and this.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:56] Speaker C: Concern around your heart.
And then the two doctors came in the day after together. So the urologist was going to do the oncologist to do my cancer and then the cardiologist about my heart. And both of them said, one of them said we need to get the cancer out. It's extremely aggressive. It's right near the lymphatic system. We're thinking about hours before the operation. And the cardiologist said, no way your heart's going to allow you to do that. You're going to literally die on the, on the table.
So I called my dad, he didn't pick up the phone.
And then the two guys Left. And they said, well, I. Because they didn't come up with a recommendation on what to do. I guess you have some thinking to do.
[00:19:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:43] Speaker C: And I remember sitting there in that room in the hospital, feeling so alone, all by myself and everything. Okay, enough is enough.
[00:19:54] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:19:55] Speaker C: I now have to take control. And I think the larger part of my life before that, I'd lived in sort of the archetype one that you said everything was easy, comfortable, went to good schools, never had to apply for a job, always got job offers when I wanted or needed them.
[00:20:10] Speaker A: Right.
[00:20:11] Speaker C: Relatively easy and happy. Good enough to not rock the boat. Right. And this was right in my face, like, nobody's going to do this for you. Nobody decision.
So I felt, oh, you have to do this. I remember driving home, called you first, say, clear your calendar. We need to talk.
Literally thinking as a cold notary, saying, I need a will. Last will and testament right now. These will be the talking points. I need you to have a draft for me tonight.
[00:20:39] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:20:40] Speaker C: My second daughter's also autistic, so that was. I have two. Two girls from an earlier marriage.
[00:20:44] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:20:45] Speaker C: That was a concern. How do we deal with her? So I went through, okay, what's important here. And I take things off of the list. We came home and I told you, because we've been together. Quickly, I told you. I realized you didn't sign up for this.
[00:20:58] Speaker B: We'd only be together for a year at that point. And I was, like, seven or eight months pregnant at that point with.
[00:21:05] Speaker A: With your son. Who also neurodivergent. Okay. Got it. Wow.
[00:21:10] Speaker C: But then that feeling of absolute clarity is like all the noise in my head stopped.
[00:21:16] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:21:17] Speaker C: And this is important. And I'm going to do this, this and this and this and.
[00:21:20] Speaker A: Right.
[00:21:21] Speaker C: It's got to be on my terms.
So that worked. We worked out a schedule and everything, got the cancer removed, did the heart operation. Recovery was really good.
[00:21:32] Speaker A: And so when you got the cancer removed, the heart was able to withstand the surgery.
[00:21:37] Speaker C: Oh, no. But my simple thinking, I understood the risk of the cancer.
[00:21:42] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:21:44] Speaker C: That happens. It's a whole different level of problem.
[00:21:47] Speaker A: Right, Right.
[00:21:48] Speaker C: But so I asked a cardiologist, like. Like a car. Right. If your heart stop. If my heart stops, can you start it again?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Then arrange for that.
[00:21:58] Speaker A: Okay.
Got it.
[00:22:00] Speaker C: I didn't last a minute in the operation. I. Because I had, like, local anesthetics because that would be less taxing on my heart.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: Right.
[00:22:07] Speaker C: Coming. But. Okay. So that. That.
[00:22:10] Speaker A: So they were prepared for that.
[00:22:12] Speaker B: How many heart Attacks did you have on the table that time?
[00:22:15] Speaker C: No, that was not then, but that was after the.
So I went through both surgeries, went really well. I was probably younger than all the other patients that got heart surgery.
And then I started rehabilitation, and then I got my next heart attack on the. On one of these bikes where they check for capacity. Being literally wheeled out of the room whilst Anya was breastfeeding our son. Then next to the room, and then from there, almost everything went south. South. Like 15 or 16 heart attacks that night. Was airlifted with a helicopter at 4.
[00:22:49] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:22:50] Speaker C: To a specialized hospital.
[00:22:52] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
[00:22:53] Speaker C: And then I got wheeled into the operating room, and somebody asked, do you want to see a priest? No. Yeah. No.
And then she asked, okay, is there any. Any messages you want us to record for your family?
And then I said, well, don't you think I should give them those messages themselves? And the cardiologist said, we're not sure whether you'll have that opportunity, sir.
And then I thought, this is a completely bad movie that I got myself into.
[00:23:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:25] Speaker C: Chances on a good day, maybe 50%.
[00:23:28] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:23:28] Speaker C: So I called you sort of in a message to not alarm you, but also that served as a goodbye.
[00:23:35] Speaker B: Little did I know. I had no idea.
[00:23:38] Speaker A: Now, was your son born by then, or.
[00:23:40] Speaker C: Yes, he was eight weeks old. And that might be.
[00:23:42] Speaker A: Eight weeks. Eight weeks. Oh, my goodness. Okay.
[00:23:47] Speaker C: Far from ideal. So managed to do that. Recovery was tough. And then I get to the recovery again, and then the nurse says, oh, eight seconds. See? How do you meet eight seconds? And I said, well, you know, you were sort of clinically dead during the operation. And they managed to get things going at eight seconds before we stop.
[00:24:12] Speaker A: Whoa.
[00:24:13] Speaker C: Oh, my God. If that did happen, because here was another thing like, okay, I manage it through. I must salt through it.
[00:24:19] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:20] Speaker C: And I thought, what would I have left behind?
[00:24:23] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:24:24] Speaker C: Became very conscious. Right. I need to design my life the way I want it to be. I needed to do it in a way that whenever it's my time to. To leave this earth.
[00:24:36] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:37] Speaker C: Everybody can be at peace with that. I will have accomplished what I. What I want to do.
[00:24:41] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:24:42] Speaker C: I'm very much focused on being the sort of person that I wanted to be.
[00:24:46] Speaker A: That's unbelievable. Eight seconds.
[00:24:50] Speaker C: Eight seconds.
[00:24:51] Speaker A: How often in life do each one of us take for granted 8 seconds?
[00:24:57] Speaker C: If this mean the cardiologist must have been amazing, because I could have easily imagined somebody looking at the stats say.
[00:25:05] Speaker A: They could have just given up. Yeah.
[00:25:07] Speaker C: It's not like body doesn't want to anymore. We've tried. It's done. Yeah.
[00:25:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:25:12] Speaker C: So literally.
[00:25:13] Speaker A: Wow.
All right. How old's your son now?
[00:25:18] Speaker C: He will be 10 in September.
[00:25:20] Speaker A: God bless. So you're talking 10 years. All right, so. So there's an interesting stat that I'm gonna throw out here that I think may pertain to you, Dion, where 85% of physical ailments are due to unaddressed internal stress.
So with that piece of data in mind, what did you change in your life after these epiphanies and this realization that you're now 10 years later, a different person? What did you do differently?
[00:25:57] Speaker C: That's a good question. Several things, and not all at once, because I realized then firsthand how difficult it is to make these changes.
[00:26:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:26:07] Speaker C: It was more doing things my way before.
Take advice from other people. So it has to feel good to me. It has to be what I want to.
[00:26:17] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah.
[00:26:18] Speaker C: I work.
Started to work much less hours.
[00:26:24] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:26:24] Speaker C: I spent more time with the family. Although you would probably say that's the potential.
[00:26:30] Speaker B: You know, one of the things, if I can jump in here.
[00:26:33] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:26:34] Speaker B: Is that he. He used to work crazy hours. And.
And there have been many opportunities that have come up since then which would have taken him away from the house or would have been extremely demanding on time. In terms of time.
He. He's just said no. He's like, that's not. Like, my family is more important to me than having that big pay package or that status. I literally just turning down many opportunities because.
Right.
[00:27:07] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And until probably a year. Last step started about a year and a half ago.
[00:27:13] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:27:14] Speaker C: I said, okay, I. I need to set my ambitions because I still fustrate, feeling like, oh, before I could have done this. And now being at total peace with.
It's not the life that I want. It's not the person that I want to be absolutely like this.
[00:27:29] Speaker A: Wow. That. That's absolutely powerful.
There was something, and I'm looking for it now. I. There was something I stumbled upon that it was in my phone from. I had these old emails from 2013. I don't know how I stumbled upon it, but one of them. And I've deleted most of them now this morning, but that. I found one that said. It was a little caption. It said, does this serve what I need it to serve? Or whatever is something more like. Like, am what I'm and what I considering doing. Does it. Does it serve my ultimate goal kind of thing? And similar to what you're saying, because if we put the Money in status before family and health. William may never get to spend time with the family and health. So asking that question to yourself, does this status and money serve me to be able to spend more time with my family and have better health? The answer was, no, I ain't doing it.
So I absolutely love that.
[00:28:35] Speaker C: That's the blessing. I think in my. My first marriage, my focus was much more on sort of creating a situation or working towards situational family wells where they would be she taken care of.
[00:28:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:28:50] Speaker C: When I wouldn't have been there. And now with the two youngest, because we were blessed with. I was blessed with a third and a fourth child. Is more about creating the memory together.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:02] Speaker C: Like the legacy not being money, but like the understanding of who I was as a person, how I helped them to get ready to be sort of responsible adults.
[00:29:14] Speaker B: In.
In the.
Can you say formation in English? In. In. In their.
What's the right word? In. Building them up into adults and having an influence on how they develop and grow and having a relationship with them beyond just a superficial one of, yes, this person, it has the status of my father.
[00:29:40] Speaker A: Right, Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:29:42] Speaker B: Like, this is the person who I admire and want to be like the.
[00:29:47] Speaker A: Role model or whatever. A role model or a mentor. Yeah, no, absolutely, absolutely.
Couple things. You mentioned you have additional children now.
How old are they?
[00:29:59] Speaker C: So Max, our son is soon to be 10.
Our second one. So my fourth, our second Nina, is seven. Will be eight in the summer.
[00:30:10] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:30:11] Speaker B: And then he has two daughters from.
[00:30:13] Speaker A: Two daughters. I love it. I love that. All right, so now is the important question of how you two met.
Now, there may be two versions, like Anya hit on Dion, and Dion would say, yes, that's what happened. Or Anya would say, so. So what's the truth? Like, how you met?
[00:30:31] Speaker C: Well, I think you tell about the story. I can. I can get the framework and you can lighten up, but by pure luck, I had a project I was doing that all of a sudden got canceled. Always wanted to do this coaching course because I was managing consultant where you're taught to be sort of tell assertive and you lay off the field. This is what. This is what the situation is. This is what you do. And this is always wondering more about the human component. Want to do that course. You have wanted to do the coaching course and put it on your credit card to be able to do it.
[00:31:09] Speaker B: I was poor, man. I had no money, but I was like, life will. Like, the universe will support me and I will figure out a way.
And I just Want to add here as context, because I think probably the majority of people who listen to your podcasts are based in the U.S. so in Europe, there isn't a. A debt culture.
Tend to collect debt apart from the mortgage on your house.
[00:31:38] Speaker A: Right.
[00:31:39] Speaker B: Don't do that. So, you know, so it was. It was a bit edgy, you know.
[00:31:44] Speaker A: On your credit card was. It was. It was a big decision for you. And if you. If you didn't, you wouldn't have met him. So you had that guts and you wanted the desire to take that course. So the goes on the card. Okay.
[00:31:57] Speaker B: So it goes on the card.
[00:31:58] Speaker C: I turn up, I remember we're on the first floor. I came there dragging a bit suitcase because I was expecting to be a normal for three. For three months, while I was sitting close to Amsterdam in the Netherlands, dragging my big suitcase. And I saw Anya. From the corner of my thought, okay, interesting. Everything starts. And we were sitting sort of a horseshoe. She was sitting five chairs away from me, but on my side, so I couldn't see her as. Then they do the opening and the sat down. Oh, you'll do the training. We'll practice on each other. So we need to lean in and volunteer for conversations.
And then next question. Who will be our first volunteer? And then Anya volunteered.
And then I think it was like you brought a topic around money. But I couldn't see. I could just hear a voice. Oh, that's that girl.
And then. So when you explain her situation, she made herself so vulnerable to think, oh, damn, the bossman sat here intrigued with your answers. And then I saw how she was with other people and kind.
So I was quite intrigued. Maybe tell the next bit of the story because you can dress it up much nicer than. I mean, it's just two simple facts. And then that's it.
[00:33:17] Speaker B: What's the next simple fact for you?
[00:33:19] Speaker C: Then when we said goodbye.
[00:33:21] Speaker B: Okay, so then, so then what happened was that this was like a three days on, one day off, another three days on, and had to leave back to go to the Netherlands.
[00:33:30] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:33:32] Speaker B: All of us. You know, in a coaches training, you get very intimate because everybody vulnerable and start bonding very quickly. So we were all going out for a drink, right in Covent Garden in London, and Dion had to go to the airport. So he walked with us to the bar and that. And then he said, oh, I need to say goodbye. And he started giving people hugs. And then I came up for a hug, said goodbye, gave me this massive bear hug. It whispered in my ear, I'm gonna miss you.
And I was like, oh, my God, what does this mean?
[00:34:04] Speaker A: Wow. I love it.
[00:34:06] Speaker B: And he didn't say goodbye to anyone else after that. He just walked off. Mission accomplished.
[00:34:11] Speaker C: There you go.
[00:34:13] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:34:14] Speaker B: So what ensued was some. A few messages back and forth on text. We were all, like, connected to each other at this point, and I couldn't. Like, I was in a relationship at the time. I had no idea what this was supposed to mean for me, but I was intrigued.
And so I was asking, when are you back, you know, for the next part of the course?
Dion quickly jumps onto the Internet, rebooks his flight, so he gets in the night beforehand.
[00:34:47] Speaker A: I love it.
[00:34:48] Speaker B: I'm flying in at dinner time.
Shall we go out for a meal? So then we go out for this meal in a place called Platinum Junction in London, if anybody knows London.
[00:34:59] Speaker A: And.
[00:35:00] Speaker B: And I was very nervous. I was like, I. I really didn't know what was going on. Very slow at processing.
[00:35:06] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:35:07] Speaker B: And we go into this Thai restaurant, I think, and we're sitting down. Like, I'm. Five minutes after sitting down, Dion just throws the bomb on the table. He says, and I'm in love with you.
[00:35:25] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:35:29] Speaker B: I really did not know how to react to my. My automatic reaction was I wasn't expecting that.
[00:35:36] Speaker C: Very British. Very British.
[00:35:38] Speaker A: I love it. I love it. Oh, my gosh. So that was it. And that was it.
[00:35:43] Speaker B: And then Dion's heart was on the table.
[00:35:46] Speaker A: Love it.
[00:35:47] Speaker B: I was not able to fully embrace that, but basically what happened after that was we spent.
We had. Actually, I think one of the first questions I asked him after that was, well, you know, I'm 33. I want to have kids. Do you want to have children? Like, I went, like, straight into his.
[00:36:06] Speaker A: Heart, right on the table. I would do that, too. Okay.
[00:36:09] Speaker B: So I'm not messing around here. I'm not going to mess. I'm in a relationship, and if I'm going to, like, risk everything, I want to know what you're up for. And I said to him, do you want kids? And he said, yeah, Yeah. I always wanted to have more kids.
[00:36:20] Speaker A: Beautiful.
[00:36:21] Speaker B: I thought, okay, check me whether I would move to the Netherlands. I said, yeah, I've been open to open to that.
[00:36:30] Speaker A: Wow.
[00:36:31] Speaker B: And then we spent.
Then we went home eventually, and nothing, by the way, physically.
[00:36:38] Speaker C: No stories, how much detail that you want. No, Issa, I wasn't expecting that. So we continued dinner because that's what we had agreed to do.
[00:36:47] Speaker A: We.
[00:36:49] Speaker C: You walked me to the station. We hugged for 45 minutes. Me thinking, hey, I made My move. It's your turn now. But you just walked off. And then I walked back. I did some night photography in London. Was in bed, and at 14 minutes past 2, Anya, text message was, is this what you really want? And then what ensued was this whole virtual water boarding via text message.
[00:37:13] Speaker A: I love it. So you did start that. All right, so. So Anya, you did start it with the text, is this what you really want? You're the one. Okay.
[00:37:20] Speaker B: I couldn't sleep.
[00:37:23] Speaker A: I understand that. I love that. Is that what you really want? Okay, cool.
[00:37:27] Speaker B: And then I asked him every single question I could possibly think of, because I just wanted to know, who is this guy?
And I guess. Guess I'd already honed the ability to hear what people were saying and not saying, you know, which I think is a. Is a real skill as a coach. And I'm really proud, you know, to.
[00:37:51] Speaker A: Have that skill that helps in a relay and romantic relationship, too.
[00:37:55] Speaker B: Yeah. But also, like, you know, I didn't. I didn't want to end up with some narcissist or somebody.
[00:38:01] Speaker A: Of course. Yeah.
[00:38:01] Speaker B: Mess me about.
[00:38:02] Speaker A: Right.
[00:38:03] Speaker B: So I asked him very, very direct questions. And one of them was actually the tipping point for me was when I said to him, have you ever had an affair? So he'd been married. He'd been with his previous wife for 22 years. And I said, have you ever had an affair? And at this point, he could have lied. He could have said to me, oh, no, I'm, like, perfect and everywhere.
But he came back extremely vulnerable, said, actually, I have had an affair. I'm not proud of it. It pains me that. That I did this, but. But this is why. And then he explained to me the whole backstory of the relationship and how it came about. That came about.
[00:38:45] Speaker A: Right.
[00:38:45] Speaker B: And I was so in awe of his openness and vulnerability and willingness to risk things not proceeding, of course, between the two of us. So I thought, okay, okay, I'm done here now. I know. So this.
[00:39:02] Speaker A: Good for you.
[00:39:03] Speaker B: We've even kissed. We've never held hands. You know, it was. You know, we basically made this commitment before there'd been anything physical between us.
[00:39:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, that. That says something. That's beautiful. That's a beautiful story. So it shows that that can happen.
So good for you, too. All right, so now. Now we've got you now together and moving forward. Now, I know the audience has certainly captured the essence of. Of Anya, you individually, and Dion, you individually. So, folks, if you want to reach out to Anya individually and get to know her better, you can get her on Instagram or LinkedIn at. On. @ Anya Holzman on either one of those platforms. If you want to get in touch with Dion and also be LinkedIn. Dion Renee Hulsman.
Now we want to get to. We. I know that you two work together too, in a, in a, in a whole holistic stuff. So folks, if you want to get in touch with them professionally, there's an email address. Hello. @ holisticwealth. It's W O W H O L I S t I c wealth.com so get in touch with them. So now I want to move forward as now you two are a powerful couple. What are you doing professionally? And obviously, you guys have taken, taken a lot of strengths and a lot of stuff from your experience and wisdom in your past and brought it to this beautiful partnership. What are you doing now to help your clients?
[00:40:39] Speaker B: Sure.
So what we do is work with mainly entrepreneurs and business owners to help them create a holistically wealthy life. So success in business is important.
And also on top of that, we want to see these business owners have success in their home and personal lives as well and to complete that. So it's not just relationships at home with your kids, with your spouse, with the people in your business and your team, but also your relationship with yourself.
[00:41:19] Speaker A: Right.
[00:41:20] Speaker B: And your health.
We believe that it's only when you have all of these areas of your life that you really are truly wealthy. Because wealth alone can buy you stuff.
But it's, it's, it's not the thing. You know, you'll only feel fulfilled with a fast car or a big house for a very short amount of time.
[00:41:46] Speaker A: That's true.
[00:41:46] Speaker B: You're on to the next thing.
And the reason why we choose to work with business owners and entrepreneurs is because we really love the mindset of these people tend to be extremely creative risk takers, but they tend to be also very purpose driven.
[00:42:07] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:42:09] Speaker B: Yeah. And in addition to that, they are the ones taking massive risk. You know, they, they provide employment for others, have a massive impact on their community, tend to work hard and burn the candle on both ends and often feel really lonely actually at the top of their organization. So we're here to support them to thrive every area of their lives, not just, not just in business.
[00:42:38] Speaker A: I love that. You know, there's, to me, there's a misnomer about a work life balance. I don't think that exists.
And I don't believe, I mean, in the States, they teach a work life balance. Get rid of that term because we live. There's 24 hours in a day, right. Pretend we sleep eight, except for Dion, who sleeps four, whatever. But that's six to nine more. Then you got 16 hours. You're alive. There are so many strengths you can have in business that you can adapt to your personal life and vice versa. And they are interwoven especially with entrepreneurs. So this work life balance thing, just try to find a balance, a life balance and inner peace, utilizing those two areas. I love that.
[00:43:19] Speaker C: There's only one life and there's only one you. Right. So it's not like you flip a switch and you become a completely different person.
[00:43:25] Speaker A: Absolutely, absolutely. So we have a few more minutes. I want to get to my, my final question. I always ask my guests and I'm going to start with Anya. We're going to go Anya then Dion. Anya, then Dion. So anyway, yeah, you have the opportunity to sit down with young 7 to 10 year old Anya and give her some advice about life. What are you going to tell her?
[00:43:48] Speaker B: You're not alone.
There are so many more people who are different and quirky and who are going to get you even if you haven't found those people yet.
[00:44:00] Speaker A: Love that, Dion, same thing. You're sitting down with 7 to 10 year old Dion and want to give him advice about life. What are you going to tell him?
[00:44:10] Speaker C: I probably tell myself, do what feels good to you, what's important to you. You're going to get an awful lot of advice from other people who see the world through their lens and have the best intentions.
Nobody knows you like you know yourself. Do what is what you feel is good for you.
[00:44:28] Speaker A: Love that. All right, now we're going to switch hats. And Anya, you are now sitting down with young Anya, the young entrepreneur, young businesswoman, and you want to give her advice, advice about business. What are you going to tell her?
[00:44:41] Speaker B: Get rid of the perfectionism and get comfortable with learning through error and by being rubbish at the start.
[00:44:51] Speaker A: I love that.
[00:44:52] Speaker B: Really played by perfectionism for a long time.
[00:44:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I love that. Absolutely love that. All right, Dion, you're sitting down with young Dion, the young businessman, young entrepreneur. I want to give him advice about business. What are you going to tell him?
[00:45:06] Speaker C: I would tell myself again, best to say this as soon as you feel that you're no longer learning, it's time to move.
[00:45:18] Speaker A: Love that. Wow. Well, I want to thank the two of you for not just coming on, but being who you are.
The impact of this show, providing we can could spread this as far as we can spread this, is going to be so powerful. Because when you find two individuals who've had challenges in life and face them head on and then get a chance to meet each other and become a unified force, you can do so much good in the world and you are doing it.
It's a testament to the two of you and for other people out there. If you don't have somebody, that somebody is out there somewhere, give yourself the opportunity to meet him or her. Put it on your credit card.
Put it on your credit card. You never know what's gonna happen. Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for coming on. Thanks for being in my life. There's a reason why we've met and this will not be the last time we talk and you know everybody out there. I want you to take care of yourselves.
Learn from what you what you heard today.
Life can be what you want it to be if you believe. Take care, everybody.
Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review. To help others find it, I'd like you to answer this question. Are you living the life you want to live or are you living the life others want you to live? I'd like you to think about that for a second because I strongly suggest you live the life you want to live. If you want to learn more about what I stand for and my services and how I'm able to help many men get out of their own way, please go to my website at www.profetcompassion.com.
feel free to also email me at drewfetcompassion.com I'd love to have a conversation with you. Take care of yourself and choose to write your own story instead of letting others write it. For.
