Episode 46 - Corey Herring - One of the Players on My Team Was Murdered by Another Player on the Team. That Resulted in an Investigation of the Entire Program, Lost Opportunities and Setbacks.

[00:00:06] Speaker A: Welcome to from caving in to crushing it, the podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Deraney. And I'm your host, Corey. So good to see you, my friend. [00:00:24] Speaker B: Well, likewise, Drew. Thank you for having me. [00:00:26] Speaker A: It's my pleasure. It's my pleasure. First, we have Frank Aegan to thank for this because Frank introduced us and you and I have spoken once, and I feel we connected, man. I feel like I've known you for a long time, and I'm grateful for that. So thank you for coming on. Your story is so impactful, and I only bring people on who are a good human beings who have gone through stuff in life, who haven't retreated, who faced their challenges head on and have come out on the other side, better people for it, and now wish to tell their stories so they can help other people in dark times to give people some hope and inspiration. And you are certainly one of those people who has inspired me, and I know you can help others by sharing your story. So thank you for coming, Drew. So, Corey, when we're kids, we're taught that life is a straight line. Life is know we had people tell us, hey, Corey. Hey, Drew. If you do A-B-C and d, e is going to happen, and we believe it. What we're not taught is that there may be a barrier in life just thrown in front of us after each of those steps that we've got to face. And I know you faced a few of those. So if you can reach back as far as you want to go and think of a defining moment in your life where you finally realized, hey, Corey, there's another way to live, a better way to live. And you know what? I want to live better. So I'm going that route instead of the route I've been taught. So I want to hear your story wherever you want to start. [00:02:16] Speaker B: Yeah, no, that's an interesting thought. Right. So to add context to the things that happened, and I know we'll touch on what happened while I was down at Baylor, but context to that, I think it's important to also understand where I started, right. So, originally from Buffalo, New York, single family, just my mom and my brother at the time. But as I was growing, know, I saw a lot of violence, right. And I do remember even as a young child, thinking to myself that I didn't want that for my life. And I tried to do things and surround myself around people to avoid being where I started and then fast forward. That ultimately led me to pursuing sports to get out of my current condition. And I had some rough bumps. But I would say that question I had realized and answered a few times throughout life. I don't want this. I have to push back. I have to keep fighting. [00:03:36] Speaker A: You mentioned a single family with your mom. Did you grow up with a male mentor or role model who helped you along in the process of becoming from a boy to a man? [00:03:51] Speaker B: No. Yeah. No, actually, I didn't. But my mom worked all blue collar jobs. [00:04:04] Speaker A: Okay. [00:04:04] Speaker B: Right. She would go to work. She didn't have a car, so she would either catch the bus or walk there. And when she would come home, I would try to run up and hug her, and she'd be like, you got to back up because she's so dirty with grease from working factory. Right. Okay. And then she would shower, wash her face, and the towel would literally be black from the oil. [00:04:33] Speaker A: Sure. [00:04:33] Speaker B: Right. But to your first question, seeing that, I'm like, I don't want that for my mom. And I also that for myself. [00:04:43] Speaker A: Got it. [00:04:44] Speaker B: She was an example of the type of man that I wanted to be. [00:04:50] Speaker A: Wow. Is mom still with us? [00:04:56] Speaker B: Yes. [00:04:56] Speaker A: I want to say hi to your mother and say thank you for raising such a wonderful son, and you're an amazing woman. And see what you taught your son. So if he hasn't told you that, he's told you that now. So good job, Corey. And good job, mom. I love to hear that, Corey. I love to hear that. So mom instilled a lot of awesome traits in you. So tell me about picking up the sports. What was your sport of choice? [00:05:25] Speaker B: Very good question. So my first sport was, and, you know, I used to walk around the neighborhood and tell people I was going to the NFL, and they were like, man, you don't know what's going to happen in life. And then when I turned 14, I picked up basketball. [00:05:42] Speaker A: Okay. [00:05:42] Speaker B: So I would call a late bloomer. Started up with football was pretty good. But then I switched over to basketball going into my freshman year of high school. [00:05:51] Speaker A: Okay, so go back to your freshman year in high school. They had tryouts, I assume. Or did you automatically make. How did that work? [00:06:04] Speaker B: Yeah, so I didn't play varsity at first. I played, like, freshman. So you didn't really try out for the freshman team. You were kind of just on it. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Okay. All right. [00:06:18] Speaker B: I was athletic, so it was kind of an easy choice. [00:06:21] Speaker A: All right, cool. All right, so how about when you learned you made the varsity high school team, do you remember that moment? [00:06:29] Speaker B: Yeah, that'll be a good one. Yeah. So when I made varsity, so I started out at a catholic school my freshman year, right. And in my mind I thought I was really good, but I wasn't really good at all. So I transferred to a public school. [00:06:48] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:48] Speaker B: And when I transferred to that public school, they were having these early morning, they would just call them pickup games. And I dunked on a senior. Whoa. Yeah. It was insane. The entire gym went crazy. And I think that guy quit. I think he quit playing sports. [00:07:13] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:07:14] Speaker B: After that. But, yeah, that was when I made the varsity. I made a name for myself and kind of a turning point. [00:07:25] Speaker A: Wow. All right. This will be a cool process to talk about because I'm sure the general person doesn't understand what it's like to be such a great athlete. And then all of a sudden you start talking about college, and then they have selection day. All that whole process. Scouts coming to a high school basketball game. Can you walk me a little bit through that? Because the only way I can live through it is live vicariously through your story right now. [00:07:55] Speaker B: No, man. That's cool. Because you're in East coast, right? New Jersey, right? [00:08:00] Speaker A: Yeah. Jersey. Yeah. [00:08:02] Speaker B: So I'm from Buffalo. Here's the thing with Buffalo. Vastly under recruited area because we share space with the mecca of basketball, new York City. So even if you're a really good player in Buffalo, New York, you're going to go under recruited. Right. So adding to the fact that I started out playing late, basketball is a game of skill. It's not like football. Football, I could just go out and hit people. Basketball, you dribble, you need shoot. I didn't know, like an undersized forward. And so there was a game in Schenectady, New York, my junior year. So sophomore year we actually won states just off from working hard. But junior year we had a game in Schenectady, New York, and I went up against one of the state's best players. And all the recruiters who were there to see him, okay, they were like, who the heck is this kid? I'm running him down on the fast break blocking shots. I'm talking trash. And that got me some that I began to play for a team in Albany, New York. It was the only Nike sponsored team at the time, but that's what really helped me get the recognition that I was looking for and helped me get recruited. [00:09:32] Speaker A: Oh, that's that. So when the scouts saw you, do you remember that first conversation where someone came to you and saw you play. What do you think about next steps? Yeah. [00:09:45] Speaker B: So, there were a bunch of schools that were actually after me, and at first, there were a lot of mid majors and lower tier schools that I didn't want to go to. I wanted to go to the big time schools, and so I said no to a lot of teams at first, but senior year came, and I decided that it would be in my best interest to attend preparatory school, which is a boarding school in Massachusetts, actually. And a lot of the scouts were like, well, let's see what he does in prep school. Right. You got to also think, too, Drew, because I'm the only person in my family who's not only big into sports, but no one knows about college or the process or anything, so it was actually me making all of these decisions. [00:10:47] Speaker A: Okay. All right. [00:10:48] Speaker B: So, senior year in high school, I decided to just start skipping class, even though. Yeah. Started skipping class because I wanted to go to preparatory school so I can get better recruitment. [00:11:04] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:04] Speaker B: So, I missed, like, 70 days. [00:11:07] Speaker A: Wow. [00:11:07] Speaker B: But it was insane. Right? In my mind, it's a strategy, right? But my sat, I'd already qualified, so I had, like, an 1100 sat with a very GPA, and no one understood why, but my goal was to go to prep school without graduating so that I didn't know it. Yeah. And I really thought it through. [00:11:33] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:34] Speaker B: And it was risky, but that's the route I took. So I went to prep school, and that's where I started getting all of my. [00:11:44] Speaker A: So, without the high school diploma, then? [00:11:47] Speaker B: Without the high school diploma, but I got a diploma from preparatory school. [00:11:52] Speaker A: Got it. Okay. So. [00:11:52] Speaker B: Okay. [00:11:53] Speaker A: Wow. What a strategy. I guess another story. How the heck did you think of that? [00:11:58] Speaker B: Okay. [00:11:59] Speaker A: All right. So, now you're in preparatory school up in Massachusetts, and what happens then? [00:12:05] Speaker B: There was a tournament in Houston, Texas, and it was the team I was playing for. This is a traveling team. They were out of New York, so I got to still play with them while I was at prep school, because. [00:12:20] Speaker A: I was the Albany team. That was the Albany team. Okay. Got it. Okay. [00:12:24] Speaker B: Sponsored by playing against. We're playing at a Nike tournament in Augusta, Georgia, called the Peach, right? [00:12:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:33] Speaker B: They call it the peach jam, and this is a big time tournament. There was a player there from Houston, Texas. Everyone was going crazy about him. There were two players, one from Houston and one from Dallas. At the time, I didn't know who this was, but it was Daniel Booby Gibson and Chris Bosch. Oh, my God. So we went up against them, and defensively, I did really well. Against Daniel Booby Gibson. And a recruiter from Baylor was there, Brian O'Neill, who he was surprised that he hadn't heard of me. He got in contact with the coaches from that team and discussions started about me potentially joining Baylor that final year. He found out that I was already qualified with my sat, my grades when I went to boarding school. You can't miss school at boarding school. So I could get GPA and I'd already done well on my sats. And so from a student perspective, I was good. And then from an athletic perspective, it also seemed to be alignment awesome. [00:13:48] Speaker A: The talks continued. Did you finish that first year of prep school? [00:13:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I only went to prep school for one year. [00:13:55] Speaker A: One year. And you got a scholarship to Baylor. [00:14:01] Speaker B: So I thought. [00:14:04] Speaker A: And therein lies the beginning of another story. [00:14:08] Speaker B: That's correct. [00:14:09] Speaker A: Got it. So you started up at Baylor and tell me how that transition was going from Buffalo to Massachusetts to Baylor. Baylor's in Texas. [00:14:20] Speaker B: Baylor is in, right? [00:14:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:23] Speaker B: And so to the Baylor staff, I was just another player to fill up their roster. Right. But to Buffalo, New York and the community in which I came from, I was highly celebrated. This is a huge accomplishment. Here's this guy, he just started playing basketball when he's essentially a freshman. [00:14:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:43] Speaker B: And then four years later, he's getting a scholarship to one of the biggest conferences, basketball conferences in the world. So the coach at the time, he flew up to visit us, the head coach, and we thought everything was good. And it was all in the newspaper. Right. I thought everything was good. When school started, I flew down there, and the assistant coach who was at the tournament, who recruited me first, he goes, man, yeah, there's something going on with your scholarship, man. But don't worry about it. Everything was going to be good. [00:15:35] Speaker A: Okay. [00:15:39] Speaker B: It was weird, but I didn't think much of it. [00:15:42] Speaker A: Right. [00:15:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:44] Speaker A: So you're still at school. They tell you there's something going on, but you're okay, so you believe you're okay. So it just went on just like regular freshman year. [00:15:55] Speaker B: Yeah. When I think back as an adult. Right. With more experience, certainly things that stood out. But as a young, getting out of the condition in which I originally came from, all I was really concerned about is, do I have to go back to Buffalo? I don't care. Do I get to play ball? Do I get to go to school? But there would be situations where. So you're supposed to get a stipend check every month as a scholarship. Right. It's funny because most people don't think that athletes get paid. This is even before. But everyone would get their monthly stipend check. I would get cash. [00:16:48] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:16:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:51] Speaker A: And you're like, okay, that's interesting. [00:16:55] Speaker B: I'm from Buffalo. I mean, I know something isn't right. [00:17:00] Speaker A: Everybody else is getting a check, and you're getting cash. So right there, I'm not going to. [00:17:04] Speaker B: Start asking any questions. I don't want to go home. [00:17:06] Speaker A: Right, exactly. Yep. You don't want to go back to Buffalo, so you want to play ball. Yep. I get. So the game started, and so you played. And how'd that first year go for you, playing wise? [00:17:20] Speaker B: Oh, man, I was horrible. So bad. That was bad. Really? Yeah. No, so, Drew, I was an undersized forward, okay? Super athletic. I was better than most, but I was an overachiever, and I just worked hard. When I got down there, they had to actually reinvent my entire game. [00:17:52] Speaker A: No kidding. [00:17:53] Speaker B: So that coach that recruited me, I would have to go to the gym sometimes in the middle of the night to watch games, get up shots. [00:18:02] Speaker A: All right. Okay. Yeah. [00:18:04] Speaker B: We put in a lot of work, but I wound up starting games. [00:18:09] Speaker A: Okay. [00:18:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I had some highlights. I got better. Started out bad, but I got better. [00:18:15] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, so tell me, what was your best game? You think that you can recall, like, all around best game and against whom? And give me a highlight of one play that stands a. [00:18:31] Speaker B: That's a tough one. I had a career high game against the University of Texas my sophomore year. [00:18:41] Speaker A: All right, cool. Yeah. What was the career high? I want to hear the point total. [00:18:46] Speaker B: It was 17 points. 17 points? Like seven rebounds. Right. I was a cerebral all around. [00:18:56] Speaker A: I love it. All right, cool. When you were there at least the first two years, you guys make the NCAA tournament, the 64 team march madness. Do you remember? [00:19:07] Speaker B: No, we didn't, because all those things happened my freshman year, and the coach, he was just bent on running this particular type of offense. He wouldn't change. His name was David Bliss. In the coaching staff, they were all seasoned guys, really bright. We had some really good players on the team. Some guys went to the NBA that freshman year, but the offense didn't fit the team's skill set. I understand, but it wasn't conducive to the talent that we had. [00:19:52] Speaker A: Right. So instead of molding the type of offense he was going to run to, the player's strength, it was like trying to fit their weaknesses into a process or something like that. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Exactly. Right. [00:20:04] Speaker A: Yeah, that's did. Now, I don't know if a lot of the. And I didn't know anything about, as somebody told me, the Baylor scandal. I knew nothing about it. I read up on it after I was told as whatever you want to tell about it. How did that affect you and what happened? [00:20:28] Speaker B: How did it affect me? I was bitter, I was angry. Right. [00:20:39] Speaker A: Can you tell the audience like just a 101 quick summary synopsis that what occurred, so they have an idea in context, whatever you feel comfortable talking about. [00:20:49] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I'll just lay it out. So my freshman year, while I was a player, that summer, from my freshman to my sophomore year, one of the players on my team, Patrick Dennehy, was assaulted, murdered by another player on the team, Carlton Dotson. And that resulted in an investigation of the entire program. And it was revealed that I didn't have a scholarship. Neither did the Patrick who got murdered on the team. And allegedly our tuitions were being funded by other people. And because of that, the NCAA penalized Baylor and the players who were involved. [00:21:49] Speaker A: Okay. [00:21:50] Speaker B: And so it completely derailed my trajectory. All the things that I worked for. Right, like what we were talking about earlier, thinking that you have an expectation when you do things a certain type of way, right? And then you run into an obstacle and you get derailed. And I was bitter, extremely bitter. How dare these people lie to me and betray me. And they're all rich still, here I am. I'm going to essentially have to go back to the hood. [00:22:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I was pissed, of course, and rightly so. And we talked earlier before we recorded that it's a challenge for a youth at age what is 18 or something, 1819 years old, to not think about blaming himself for what happened. I'm proud of you for not chasing the results, because you had nothing to do with what happened. And I understand the bitterness part, because you truly believed that you had the scholarship. And for you to be penalized for something you had no knowledge about seems to me to be unfair. But they say life isn't fair. So what happened after that? I mean, obviously you said this happened in your freshman year, you still played sophomore year. So how were you able to play sophomore year without the scholarship, with now a tuition cost hanging over your family's head? [00:23:26] Speaker B: Yeah. So that team that I played for out of New York, the guy who, the coach of that team, they helped me out a lot. They found me an attorney. [00:23:42] Speaker A: Right. [00:23:43] Speaker B: And we got the tuition expunged because I didn't know. And then the negotiation from the Baylor perspective was, hey, we'll give them another year scholarship and then essentially like part ways. So I played that extra year. But that year, the NCAA penalized Baylor so they couldn't compete in the NCAA tournament. So that season was essentially a lost know. I think it's important to understand that I did need some time to get over it. Right. And I'm really fortunate because there were a lot of people who surrounded me and gave me the love that they saw that I needed. Yeah. In short, though, after that sophomore year, I wound up going back to Buffalo, going to a school. [00:24:52] Speaker A: Wait, what college? [00:24:54] Speaker B: Kinesias. [00:24:56] Speaker A: Now what conference is that? [00:24:59] Speaker B: Mac. It's in the Mac conference. [00:25:01] Speaker A: Let me see. And they played Fairfield University, right where I went. Yeah. And we're probably about right around. Well, you're probably younger than I am, but. All right, there we go. Rivalry. Good. Let's talk about ahead. [00:25:19] Speaker B: I thought it was over. I thought that, hey, look, I'm going to just go out, I'm just going to ride out into the sunset, graduate, probably go play overseas or something. Two years in Kinesia's or two or three years and senior year, college girlfriend gets pregnant with, and this is my son, and now I'm faced with do I go play overseas or do I stay back? Right. And to be a father, because I thought that this was the right thing to do. Right again. I'm like, got a college degree, let me stay back and take care of this kid because that's the right thing to do. What are you talking about? It was during the great Recession. There were no jobs out there. Coupling that with I had no job experience. It was a big, tough time for me. [00:26:17] Speaker A: Yeah, right. Oh, my God. [00:26:19] Speaker B: Yeah. But I would tell you, what I used to say to myself was, I've been through worse. Every single day. I've been through worse that would help me get through. But it took some time for me to find my way. [00:26:38] Speaker A: Well, I know you have found your way. So tell me how you reached inside and found some answers within and let me know if there were other supporting casts, people around you who helped you get to where you are now. And then we'll talk about where you are now. [00:26:57] Speaker B: Yes. So there are a bunch of people. I would even say I met my wife in college as well. So having her even as an example was important for me. Right. You know that period at their Baylor. Right. Even me going to Kinesia's, it stood with me. As I said, I was bitter and so I could never shake out of my mind, hey, I didn't do anything wrong. Why would something like happen to me, like God, faith and those things and then there were some situations that I was in that kind of thought to myself. I was at someone's house around a bunch of guys. I was, like, homeless at this time, Drew. And I'm like, I cannot believe that I've been through all that just to be here. And then something just kind of clicked. Literally, in this moment, I'm thinking, what can I do to get control again? What can I do? What can I take control of to change this environment that I'm in? Sure, I've been through things before. I know what I'm capable of. So I started to take stock mentally. So I'm like, well, what did I know how to do? Well, I know sports. I know basketball. I started training kids in the neighborhood for free, and I got my name out. They were like, hey, look, Corey is coming up. He's really good. He knows this stuff. That word got back to a coach at a college who asked me to come join his coaching staff as a coach. [00:28:53] Speaker A: Wonderful. [00:28:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Got that coaching job. And what I realized during that time, I always say to people is like, hey, appreciate the person that a struggle makes you. Right? Because you learn stuff about yourself. What I really learned about coaching is that I do like helping people. I like supporting people reach their goals that wish I had. Right. So, got to the coaching. We went to the NCAA finals. I'm making a name for myself as a coach. [00:29:30] Speaker A: Where was it? Where was it? Do you mind? You. Where'd you coach? [00:29:34] Speaker B: I coached at a division three school in Buffalo called college. [00:29:38] Speaker A: Okay. Wow. Okay, awesome. And you made the finals. All right. [00:29:43] Speaker B: We went to the NCAA. We didn't go to the finals. We went to the NCAA tournament. [00:29:46] Speaker A: Oh, you went to the aliens. You went to the tournament. You got to the tournament. [00:29:49] Speaker B: Good. And then I got another job at union college in upstate New York. [00:29:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I've heard of union. Yeah. [00:30:00] Speaker B: Skincady, while I'm out doing, know, I'm a bit closer to the coaches from that organization that helped me. [00:30:12] Speaker A: Yes. [00:30:13] Speaker B: I got a pep in my step. I'm kind of just moving around. I'm moving with passion. Because I came from such a dark place, I knew I much preferred doing this stuff. And this is easy. I can't believe I so long to figure this out. Right? But I met a gentleman while I was out coaching and recruiting who just really liked me. He just saw something in me, and he said, hey, have you ever thought about technology sales? Never crossed my mind. I don't even know. Talking about systems integrations and databases and data warehouses. I didn't know that stuff. Yeah. But I said, no, you know what? But it sounds very interesting. Teach me. Right. Let me learn more. Right. Another thing. I'll say, drew, and I don't mean to jump around and be so abstract. [00:31:15] Speaker A: But this is great. [00:31:16] Speaker B: Yeah. So when I was in those lowest points, one of the things that REALLY got me out of it was continuously learning new things. Me telling him, hey, just teach me what you're talking about. That helped out tremendously. He saw something in me, and that resulted in him offering me a job as a business development representative for a systems integration firm. And I took it to ohio, to that opportunity, and that led to one for that comPany, a multi million dollar contract during my. So it wound up being a good decision. [00:32:04] Speaker A: CoNgratulations. And it's a beautiful thing when somebody who you don't know sees something in you and gives you an opportunity and to want to pay it forward. Where are you now? What are you doing now? What pays the bills? What are you doing to benefit the community? Tell me about what you're doing now so we could let the world know. [00:32:25] Speaker B: Yeah. So I still work as a consultant in information technology on the sales side, on the business side of things. I went back to school to learn data science and data analYtics. [00:32:39] Speaker A: Wow. [00:32:40] Speaker B: Yeah. Right now I have my hands in a few different things to grow business, but I like finding opportunities to help people from the business and sales side and bring out how technology can improve businesses and operations. [00:32:58] Speaker A: That's wonderful. Anything else you're working on? You want the audience to know before I get to my last two questions? [00:33:05] Speaker B: No, I think we've covered a lot. [00:33:08] Speaker A: All right, so I want to ask you a question Here. So you're sitting down with young seven to ten Year old corey, and you want to give him advice ABOut life. What are you going to tell him? [00:33:27] Speaker B: What would I tell young corey? So what I tell young Corey, I would probably say something to the effect of, don't let the world change you. [00:34:04] Speaker A: Don't let the world change you. Wow. All right, now put on a different Hat. And now you're sitting with coreY, the young BUSINESSMAN ENTrePRENeUR, READY to take on the BUSINESS world. What Kind of BUSINESS advice are you going to give HIM? [00:34:25] Speaker B: Have discernment. Have discernment. [00:34:28] Speaker A: OkAy. [00:34:31] Speaker B: Be well aware of who you choose to do business with. [00:34:37] Speaker A: That's great advice. Corey, I want to thank you for not only coming on, but for coming into my life. I'm grateful that I can call you my friend. You are a wonderful human being. You've gone through a lot, and you're a much stronger person for it. Keep doing what you're the I know that we've now kind of gotten understood the essence of Corey Herring, and people are going to want to get in touch with you to get some more of you, make it easy for them to be able to reach you. How can people get more of Corey Herring? [00:35:17] Speaker B: Well, I'm really active on LinkedIn. You can just type my name into LinkedIn. Corey Herring LinkedIn. I also have an email, Corey Coruyp dot [email protected] and I'm always looking to network and meet new wonderful. [00:35:34] Speaker A: Well, again, thank you so much for being who you are and keep doing what you're doing, man. You are such an asset and inspiration for other people. So thanks again, man. [00:35:45] Speaker B: Thank you, Drew. It's an absolute pleasure. [00:35:48] Speaker A: Be well, everybody. Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it. If you find yourself immersed in adversity and would like to find support from other men in times of struggle, please become a member of my men's supporting men collaboration tribe by emailing me at [email protected] expressing your interest and I'll get in touch with you. Speak to you soon. Bye.