[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: The podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Duraney and I'm your host.
Today's guest is Tricia Choi. Tricia Choi is a seasoned leader with 25 years of experience in healthcare, specializing in patient experience, leadership coaching and organizational transformation.
Her career has spanned various roles in top institutions including Duke University Hospital, Cone Health and New York Presbyterian Hospital where she has made a lasting impact on patient care, team development and system wide policy creation. At Duke University Hospital during the pandemic, Tricia led initiatives that maintained top decile patient experience scores for three years manage a team of 100 across multiple departments while coaching C suite leaders and ensuring service excellence.
She was instrumental in building cross hospital collaboration and prioritizing care and kindness for both patients and staff.
Trisha's role as Senior Manager of Patient Experience at Cone Health expanded her expertise in managing surge plans and developing communication tools for the broader healthcare community.
Her extensive experience at New York Press Padarian spanned over 17 years and included roles in patient experience, volunteer management and program development, including the build of the inpatient physical medicine and rehabilitation department and residency programs at Weill Cornell and Columbia Medical Centers. With a background in public relations, marketing and personal assistance to celebrities, Tricia's transition to healthcare is marked by a unique blend of leadership and service excellence. She holds a Master's of Art in Change Leadership from Columbia university and a BA in Health Education from the University of Mount St. Vincent.
Enjoy the show.
Trisha Choi. Blast from the past. It's great.
[00:02:22] Speaker A: Hi Drew.
[00:02:24] Speaker B: Good to see you.
[00:02:25] Speaker A: Virtual hug.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: Oh my gosh. Absolutely. So folks, I always in the beginning thank the person who introduced us. And this one's kind of a little different years ago. Geez, when did I. We worked together at New York Presbyterian Hospital in Manhattan in the patient experience department. Trying to think that I left.
I left one hospital in 2012. So I was there from I think it was 2012 to 2017. Could it have been? Yeah, five some odd years and so we worked closely together.
What campus were you at? You were at the.
[00:03:01] Speaker A: I was at first at Weill Cornell and then I was at the Allen Hospital for six years.
[00:03:06] Speaker B: That's right. And when I was hired, I was hired up at Weill Cornell. When you moved over to the Allen Hospital. Yeah. Good times in New York Presbyterian. What do they say? That they say amazing things are happening.
[00:03:18] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: In any event, thank you New York Presbyterian Medical center for introducing us.
[00:03:25] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:03:25] Speaker B: So Tricia, why are you Here.
And I love this too, because we were different people when we met and we've evolved.
You know, when we are young, we are taught that life is linear.
We do the right thing, whatever the right thing is. And it's not malicious teaching. They wish, they wish us the best. If we do A plus B plus C in that order, D is going to happen.
For the most part, life is linear until it's not. There are external circumstances that come up in our lives that kind of derail that straight line and put us into a circuitous route in life.
I believe there's three types of people. And for your, your case, Trish, I'll say three types of women.
You have woman number one who's got a ton of blind spots so she doesn't notice that external circumstance and she just lives through life on autopilot and does what she's told to do or the way people want her to live. And that's it. Nothing changes. And you have woman number two, heightened self awareness, sees the adversity, yet she says, I'm the victim.
Everything else is to blame. This is life doing it to me.
I can't do anything about it. And she lives her life that way. And on her deathbed, boy, did she have a lot of regrets.
And then there's woman number three. That's you, Trish. That's the women I have on this show.
Woman number three has a really heightened self awareness. She sees that adversity and she's at the point where she says, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm going to take this as an opportunity, not a barrier, and I'm going to do something different. I'm going to take massive action and work through this challenge to become a stronger woman on the other side.
So, Trish, if you could for the audience, take us as far back as you need to for that defining moment.
Whether it was the tap on the shoulder, the whisper in the ear, or like what I needed, the 2 by 4 upside my head that helped you shift that paradigm shift from whatever woman you were to woman number three to make you a stronger Trisha Choi and who you are now personally and professionally.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: Okay, I actually have two moments, but I'll make them quick. So one of them, one of them, I really wasn't there. I was in a stupor. So I was married. I was just probably out of a recent hospitalization for my, what I call diagnosis of mental wellness.
So I was in the Philippines and my uncle sat me down in his beautiful living room and he said to me, forgive yourself.
I said, for what? And I've said exactly like you. I'm the victim here. I'm the victim. I just got out of, you know, lockdown, psychiatric ward because I have bipolar disorder. And that is not my fault. It is my grandfather's fault. Because we have this in our family. And you know, there's 10 children in the family, five of them have some variation of the disorder or disease. And I'm the first of 26 grandchildren to exhibit it. What do you want me to forgive myself for? And he said, no, you have to forgive yourself for being human, for being imperfect. And I just sat there frustrated. And I was like, I don't understand why I have to forgive me. And I was like, I'm so angry. And he was like, that's right, be angry, be angry. And I was like, I'm angry at God. I'm angry at my parents, I'm angry at my life. Why me? All I want to do is become a mother. And, you know, here I am, you know, just having to take this medication, which is why I can't get pregnant. You know, I have to watch, you know, what medication I'm taking and putting into my body.
And yeah, a lot of feelings are coming up because I have infertility. And I too have a story of a good marriage. But divorce is part of my story after 16 years. And that vacation was so frustrating because I was highly medicated and I was trying to be taught this lesson that that for me was a slap upside the head, saying, forgive yourself.
[00:07:45] Speaker B: Okay?
[00:07:47] Speaker A: And then I think maybe when we were working together, you were always that kind colleague who would, you know, we would have these kind conversations. But our shared boss, Emily, was the person who showed me such compassion the day, years later, that I said, emily, I need to go away. I need to go to get treatment for recovery because I have been self medicating with alcohol, trying to fit in and be social.
And she said, just go. And I was like, really? She said, in one day, she said, I'm going to teach your colleagues to see what you do so they could cover the Allen Hospital.
You don't have to worry about a thing. We've got you covered. Go. I went for six, seven, eight weeks before I came back. And she was completely supportive and she did not ask any questions. And so those two people in my story were people that were formidable to who I am today.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: Wow.
Powerful.
Very powerful.
I want to get back to that forgiveness thing.
Quite often we have with that anger and with the victim and blame mindset.
We are angry about our past.
And, you know, we always hear about forgiving others.
They know not what they do.
We're often not often suggested to forgive ourselves.
And quite often that anger really is directed towards ourselves.
We are angry at ourselves for allowing others to, you know, yet we have a choice. We always have a choice. Right. Whether we know it or not. That's the blind spots we have to know. We go through life, we have a choice. Now, did you choose to listen to your uncle with the forgiveness suggestion?
[00:09:54] Speaker A: I have to be honest.
It took me many years. So that was more than, I don't know, 15, 18 years ago.
I have not truly forgiven myself until this past year when I was in fun employment. So I was part of Duke University Hospital's reduction in force. I was their assistant vice president for patient experience for three years on the front lines during COVID and taking the leaders into the emergency room, into the COVID units, rounding with patients and their families and saying, we're here with you.
You know, don't be afraid. We're not just in our C suite offices. We're here with you. We're holding your hands.
And then they had a reduction in force. And it was a perfect gift because for all these years, I've been putting on everybody else's oxygen mask before my own. And so in that time and space, Drew, I finally was able to wake up to what was going on, and I was in. I found myself in a relationship that didn't serve me. I was.
Well, let's just say I broke the cycle of domestic violence in my lifetime, and finally I was able to forgive the person. So I, I ended the relationship I was in and forgave that person.
But a couple months later, after being on my own and in a new relationship, I started, like, finding that I hadn't truly forgiven myself for accepting what was less than I deserved.
[00:11:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:47] Speaker A: And also forgiving myself for not being perfect. Right. So perfectly imperfect.
[00:11:53] Speaker B: Absolutely. Thank you. Absolutely.
I, I, and, and I believe, it's my personal belief that once you do forgive yourself, you're now looking inward and you're really working on what's your purpose in life. And once you realize what your purpose is and the types of people who are going to help build you up and not knock you down, you start attracting those people who are going to build you up. Now, before we hit record, you told me that you're, you have a partner now you're with somebody.
And you smiled when you said you were with him and that you guys are aligned in some ways.
And I'd like to, I'd like you to get into what your thoughts are about.
Shifting a mindset in a positive way can bring you what you do deserve.
[00:12:46] Speaker A: Yeah, so I think I pointed out too, there's this hula hoop behind me on my office door right there. And my favorite saying that I learned from someone in the rooms of recovery, my sponsor was like, you can only control that which is within your own hula hoop. And you also have to think about the people that you choose to hold close in that hula hoop, like you said. So I do find myself blessed to have a partner who is completely, completely all about fun, but also very, very spiritual and religious. So for many, many years, what I think I was lacking in my past relationships and my own relationship with myself is truly a relationship with God.
So I think that's very important to what I am today and what I do today. He's an artist, he's an iconographer.
[00:13:45] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:13:45] Speaker A: And so he paints Jesus, the saints and Bible stories. And he turned his the 20 year portfolio of art into a tabletop game. So all we've been doing for the past 10 years, not 10 years, it feels like 10 years, but 10 months of our relationship is playing this board game at coffee shops, in the airport, in the airplane. And it's called Toll House. And so what it talks about is truly life here on earth, possibly if there's a purgatory and the afterlife, it's based on his near death experience.
And so we just really have been connecting on so many levels. And like you said, it's truly who's in your corner.
But only after I take care of myself first can I attract the right people.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: Yep. Because if we don't put that oxygen mask on ourselves, how are we going to help other people if we're not, if we're not around?
Before we hit record, I had mentioned we were looking at the lighting and everything. You had a mirror that I asked you to take off because it was kind of me. But anyway, that mirror, why you had a reason why you had that mirror on the closet door behind you or the door behind you. So tell me, tell us what that was for.
[00:14:59] Speaker A: Well, that one right, that one right there is a mirror also, but does reflect who I am today and the change that I need to make. So I think one of my favorite artists is Michael Jackson and his song is man in the Mirror. So for me, woman in the Mirror. Like I'm going to make that change, but I'm going to continually have to look at myself to make that change. And I love that you drew since I've known you. You did say that we're not the same people that we were when we first knew each other, but in essence, you are, because I always knew that you were that caregiver whether I knew your full story. But very quickly, you and I told our true stories to each other.
And I knew I could trust you. And I still know that I can talk to you. I could trust you. We could listen to one another.
[00:15:53] Speaker B: Absolutely.
I love that. Yeah, you and I had that connection right when we first met. It was kind of cool.
So the other mirror that the one I tried to take off the door, what was that? Is that same similar kind of thing, the reflection?
[00:16:06] Speaker A: So it was where. It was up at where I used to work at Duke. And so when I came in to work there, that what there were. There were two mirrors. One was an antique mirror that had about 100 years old. And then that was the new one that I think I got off of Amazon and I would have them to look at right in front of my desk. And it was saying, you know what, There needs to be some change. One is really, really old and archaic, and one is brand new off Amazon. But somewhere in between is the change that this organization needs to arrive at. And I can be a conduit to that change. And I need to look at myself. How can I help? But it's truly about where I'm sitting within the organization.
[00:16:57] Speaker B: And.
[00:16:57] Speaker A: And now I choose chose in fund employment to go off and to start my own venture. So I started my own company, and now I sit within my own space.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: Okay, so we're definitely going to get into what you're doing now professionally. I. I want to. You said a word a couple times, and I love it. You said fun employment.
Words matter because they affect our brain and our emotions and our thoughts. Tell me how you came up with this. You know, I'm not the victim. It's fun employment. How did you come to the conclusion that this was a gift? And I always say, like, sometimes gifts are wrapped in sandpaper. You don't expect it, you know?
[00:17:40] Speaker A: So one of the things I pride myself on is that I am a huge networker. So even when I was at my last organization, they said, in 30 days, you're going to meet 30 people. So we need you to come into the office, even if it's an hour drive from your home, sit on Zoom, do these Zoom calls, and do 30 meet and greets. And like, you I had two questions of every single person I met and it was, how long have you been at the organization? And who is your go to person that you talk to anytime there's a change, but you cannot report to them hierarchically nor matrixly. So they would give me a name and that person I would set a one on one meet and greet with. So I've been doing that through my unemployment and somewhere along the line someone told me that their husband used the word fun employed. And I was like, I like that.
So I used it and it's truly what I did like from the beginning of unemployment, I started going to family functions, which I had put aside because work was more important.
And then I started playing golf almost like three times a week, which I love. And then when it was raining, I'd go bowling.
And then I started singing again in my acapella group. It's a female acapella group and all these things are fun.
So I would never have been able to engage in those activities had I not. And that's what then led me to, you know, starting my own really fun company. So.
[00:19:16] Speaker B: All right, here we go folks. I was trying to get the anticipation going.
Tell us about your, your awesome adventure and what you're doing now professionally.
[00:19:26] Speaker A: Sure. So it's still really coaching and motivating executives, but we're all leaders, so everybody in the place that they are to create home within themselves. So my company is called Baja Kubo, which in Filipino means a home that is made out of bamboo and leaves. So it is lightweight and you can pick it up and move it to another part of the village. But you have to first build that home within yourself. And it's usually just a one room home.
So people come into the home and you really can't hide. You do everything together with people. And it can also be a shelter that shields from the sun in the farm or on the beach. But it is definitely something that's portable and lightweight. And kids in the Philippines have a song that they sing about this Baha' I Kubo. But so the concept is it's going to be a space within conferences of all industries where the executive can self select to come away from all those sometimes boring presentations and PowerPoints to go into this space and play music, to finger paint, to create a finger pot, sing karaoke, or do silent disco dancing, to stretch and do yoga, and then go back into the space of the conference and hear some idea that they would then take back to their home organization and present it with some creative way and do Some transformational change. So we would survey them at the event, three weeks post the event, and then three months. So I don't know if you remember, we were really blessed in our organization at New York Presbyterian to go to two conferences per year, but they didn't always ask us to do a PowerPoint presentation when we came back or to say what we learned.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: That's a good point.
[00:21:30] Speaker A: So what's the ROI on the.
[00:21:34] Speaker B: Yeah, if you can't. Yeah. Something that you believe is going to benefit.
[00:21:38] Speaker A: So I'm hoping people will come back and do like a storytelling through dance and say, this is what I learned and this is what we have to do on our XYZ organization.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: Because, you know, I love that you do that. I'm not, I'm not surprised because, you know that if you inject fun into a serious conference, there's certain hormones that get released from the brain that make you feel good and more so not, not like the quick feel good, but the, the extended feel good. And then you bring that mindset into the work world.
All of a sudden your creativity and innovation is there because you gave your brain a chance to enjoy life. You know, it's kind of, you know, people don't realize that you could, you could do fun stuff. You can release your inner child in the work, work world and probably be more productive.
[00:22:32] Speaker A: Yeah, we. We held an event this weekend at Duke University with the grad students and their children.
And so their children picked one of four experiences to bring their parent to. So we had journaling and reflection. We had music and listening. We had fort building and creating, and then there was how to Paint an angel workshop. And it was just fascinating to see how everybody, including the parent, took time to really have time for themselves and then reflect on, like, wow, I haven't really stopped to think about what kind of an object would I be if I were an object. And to really be creative for just two hours at a time.
And so it was a, I think, a really great break for them. I still have to read all of their survey responses, but it's impactful, though.
[00:23:25] Speaker B: Because they're experiencing what it is to look and look inward. And it's not natural the way we're, you know, taught and brought up nowadays to, to reflect inward about who you really are and, and be who you are, not what other people want you to be. So I love, I love what you're.
[00:23:44] Speaker A: Doing, and I love that you're going to be doing that with your son. You just shared before we started to record. So, yeah, It's. It's what we need in this world today to heal.
[00:23:56] Speaker B: Absolutely. I mean, life is not meant to be this challenging in a negative way. It should be challenging in a positive way, and that's what we're doing.
So anything.
Let me see. I could talk to you all day, but I think I'm gonna really realize that the audience certainly has captured the essence of.
Of Trisha Choi here. And folks, you're going to want to get in touch with Trisha.
Best way would be her website.
It's Baja. Is it Baja?
I actually pronounce it right. So b. It's www.b a h a y kubo k u b o retreat dot com. Best way to reach out to Trish. So, Trisha, is this. Are they retreats any. Can they be anywhere in the States?
[00:24:43] Speaker A: Yes. So they're fully customizable. I've had. I've had one for women on International Women's Wellness Day in Oce inside California at a beautiful Airbnb. And we had, you know, a yoga instructor come out and a nurse teach her compassion model.
And then after, you know that, we've had some small mini retreats just here at my home in Chapel Hill.
[00:25:08] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:25:08] Speaker A: With some doctors and engineers, but we had that one at Duke this weekend. So they're fully customizable.
[00:25:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I love, I love that because most retreats are. You go to a certain place place, but you. You have like this portable health and wellness retreat that you take it to where people are, where they're at. And I think that's wonderful. And I think I. I would believe that they could build better habits having the retreat where they live. Because if you can then take what you learn right away, inject it into and adapt it to your.
Where you are in life, you can do all the visualization and. And they can really enhance their lives. So I love that. I love the facet that you're doing.
[00:25:50] Speaker A: I love your idea that you just gave me. So that's perfect. And all I could think of as a sound bite behind us is REM doing stand in the place where you arrive.
[00:26:00] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Visualization is very powerful, so definitely.
So anything else you want to tell the audience? I know you want to talk a little bit about your partner and what he does with the iconography. You want to expand on that at all?
[00:26:16] Speaker A: I think I did a plug on it, but it's a really great game called Toll House, so you could find it on Facebook or Insta. It's called Game Toll house. There are three games in one and 16 ways to play. So you can play solo play three levels of difficulty. There's monk mode, there's the wanderer mode, and the most difficult is the royal mode because face it, being a royal is a hard thing in this earth to do. And then there's 16 ways to play. So you can play, like I said, the three levels or you could actually also play with a secret monster mode. And I think that's what's great. We're really, truly missing post Covid and just in our world today, connection. And so he and his partner, Brian. My partner's name is Spiridon, that's his baptismal name.
But they both created this game because people are not connecting anymore. So this game has no words, it's just matching colors.
And if you're colorblind, there's just matching shapes and a cryptic animal. So anybody can play. And they really wanted baby boomers to be able to play with their grandchildren because right now a lot of kids are just playing on their devices.
So I think it's, it's an important thing. And like I said, this has been a big part of what's taught me about fun, employment, about also creating Baha' I Kubo. It's all about play.
[00:27:57] Speaker B: I love it.
Our inner child inside of us all the time. And it seems as if when we become an adult at age 18, they say, okay, this is now. Now you're 18, so this is what you can do and this is what you can't do. So we end up shutting down our inner child and saying no to him or her at too young of an age. So let's bring that inner child back out, incorporate him or her in the adult world, man, it makes life a lot better.
Trish, two questions I want to ask you. Okay. The first question, I want to give you the opportunity to use your imagination.
You're in a beautiful setting and you're sitting down with 7 to 10 year old Trish and you want to give her advice about life. What are you going to tell her?
[00:28:43] Speaker A: I think it's going to be the advice that my dad gave me that I was rolling my eyes out, which is make sure that you try everything once. He was talking about food, but I would say, and he was like, just try it, just try it once. I mean, you don't want to try snails. Just try it once and if you don't like it, spit it out. But I think it's an experience for everything. Like if you don't want to try walking in the creek without Shoes on. Just try it once and. And see how that feels.
And that's what I've been doing. You know, I didn't want to move away from New York, but just try it. Try it once. And I don't ever want to move back to New York. I love it here in North Carolina.
[00:29:25] Speaker B: Yeah. If we don't try something, how are we going to know if we like it or not? Right?
[00:29:30] Speaker A: Right.
[00:29:31] Speaker B: Say, do it scared.
All right, now put a different hat on. Now you're talking with Trish, the young businesswoman, young entrepreneur, and you want to give her advice about business. What are you going to tell her?
[00:29:45] Speaker A: I don't think it's that too dissimilar. Like, try it. I mean, try doing. I. Okay. I tried to start my own company for the first time before entering healthcare. That was almost 25, 30 years ago.
I tried it and it wasn't the right time. So I entered into healthcare now having all of the, you know, business acumen and having had led a team of over a hundred people, I'm doing it again and I'm trying it again. So I think, just like you said, face it head on, do it scared. But really, for me, I think it's also making sure.
I like to say that what I've been doing in my networking is being a trapeze artist, going to one person to the next, but there's always that safety net behind. So just know that you have a safety net of people who you've built in your life, like you, that I could always reach out to and connect with. Don't be afraid.
[00:30:47] Speaker B: Love that. Absolutely love that. So, Trish, I want to thank you for a variety of things. Thank you for coming on, but thank you for coming into my life. And. And I think it's really cool that we've kept in touch and we respect each other's evolution.
And, you know, I give you a lot of credit for everything you've gone through.
I love how you are vulnerable and talking about mental health aspects because many people out there try to hide it because they think it's a weakness to talk about it. It's a strength because you're not only helping yourself, you're helping others.
So thank you. Keep being who you are. You're a wonderful human being and I love what you're doing with the retreat.
And God bless you, kid.
[00:31:28] Speaker A: Thank you.
God bless you, too.
[00:31:30] Speaker B: Hey, everybody out there, please take care of yourselves.
Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it.
I'd like you to answer this question.
Are you living the life you want to live, or are you living the life others want you to live? I'd like you to think about that for a second, because I strongly suggest you live the life you want to live. If you want to learn more about what I stand for and my services and how I'm able to help many men get out of their own way, please go to my website at www.prophetcompassion. com.
Feel free to also email me at
[email protected]. i'd love to have a conversation with you.
Take care of yourself and choose to write your own story instead of letting others write it for you.
