Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:00:09] Speaker B: The podcast for those who find themselves immersed in adversity and choose to write their story instead of having others write it for them. I'm Drew Duraney and I'm your host, Kagan. I couldn't sleep last night because I was so excited for this because every time we talk, man, I, I, I come out with some words of wisdom. So I, I really appreciate you coming on.
[00:00:35] Speaker A: Thank you, Drew. I'm, I'm so thrilled to be here with you, especially because you got a number one bestseller yesterday. So I love to support the effort and the energy and I know this is going to be a great podcast. So thank you for having me.
[00:00:47] Speaker B: Ah, well, thank you for, for being. Yeah, it was a surreal day yesterday. And then I, when I saw you on the calendar today, I said, I am not canceling this. This makes my day. So, so, yeah, so I like to like, start right at it because I know life is not linear and what you do now is wonderful stuff to help, to help people. And I know that you didn't wake up when you were born and say, I want to do this. So if you could try to touch on what got you here and you know, as, as, as detailed as you feel comfortable.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. I'll give you some major bullet points, and if you would like me to elaborate on particular points, I'd be more than happy to.
[00:01:27] Speaker B: Sounds good.
[00:01:28] Speaker A: But you know, Drew, it really starts at the very beginning when I was born. I came into this world extremely confused. Dad wasn't in the picture. Mom wasn't really prepared to raise me, so, so my grandparents ended up raising me for some time. Went back with my mom, heavily abused, molested by a babysitter. I had ADHD at the age of 4. Developed a speech impediment because of these traumas, and it just continued to get worse. Faced addiction at the age of 12 for many years. Homelessness, the list goes on and on, you know, And I felt that I had every reason to give up. That was all before the age of 18.
It wasn't until you're, until about 18 years of age that I found this company that changed my life. It gave me the rubric, the structure to not only personally develop myself, but also learn how to run a business successfully. And so I tasted a lot of success at a very young age. You know, I, I, I, I won't get into the particulars, but in, in a three month period as an 18 year old, I made what a lot of people were making in an entire year. So I was hungry a couple Years after that, my biological father, who is not really in my life, passed away. And I had just moved to North Carolina. I opened a business there. I received a telephone call. Normally wouldn't answer this number. I didn't know it, but I answered the call and there was a funeral director on the other side. She said, look, you have two, two options. One option is you just kind of ignore this and his family is going to have to sell their house because he's got some debt, got to pay for the funeral, etc, didn't have a plan for any of this stuff. The other option is you can come out of pocket and pay for it. And so I sat there and I had a huge moment of what do I do here? You know, this is a person that has had no impact in my life, brought nothing but pain, strife. But I will have to live with my decision the rest of my life. And do I want to live with guilt or do I want to really define the character that I am? So I ended up coming out of pocket for this. It was over $19,000. I basically put every single penny I had on the line. I was about to buy a house at that time, and, you know, it went from running an office, being a business owner, about to buy a home, to losing everything, starting from ground zero, living in a car with my dog in the middle of winter.
The vehicle didn't even have heat. So we trekked up to Chicago, Illinois, and that was essentially the catalyst for everything, you know, everything prior. I had experienced a ridiculous amount of pain again, had every reason to give up. And I finally hit that threshold where enough is enough. And I made the decision to change my life. And in the last four years, not only has it been an extreme expansion and transformation from there, but I've been able to take those lessons and opportunities and actually change the lives of so many other people. And so that's what I live for now.
Wow.
[00:04:37] Speaker B: All right, so let me, let me. There's a lot. There's a lot to take in here. And I give you a ton of credit and you're an inspirational human being for getting through all this. Keegan. So you mentioned you founded this company. Were you seeking out something to latch onto or did it come to you? Tell me about that whole, you know, finding of that company that really helped Trans start changing your life.
[00:05:05] Speaker A: Both I had at that time, again, I was 18 years old. I had already purchased three vehicles out of pocket. You know, the first vehicle I bought was as a 13 year old. You know, I bought a vehicle in Cash before I even had a permit, because that was an escape for me. So going into college, didn't have a vehicle. I graduated high school at 17. So this was my. My first year in college, didn't have a vehicle. And I said, look, I need to make money. I need to get another vehicle. I need some purpose. And this is back in the day where we had newspapers, where you would find jobs in a newspaper. So, yeah, I remember I was doing all these interviews, and my mom actually found the position. She highlighted it, sent it to me, and I said, you know what? I'm going to give it a shot. And I showed up. And so it was a combination of the both. It was a combination of me seeking it, and I think it found me.
[00:05:56] Speaker B: Yeah, it's interesting, your relationship with your mother and she. She found that for you. And so what. What do you think her thinking was at that time?
[00:06:07] Speaker A: It's a really interesting question. The dichotomy of my mother's and my relationship was very, very far. Polarities. You know, there were moments where she was my rock, and I would literally get in front of the man that tried to kill both of us to defend her as a child. And then there were moments where I felt that she completely excommunicated me from the family and talked really poorly about me selling my name. So again, those polarities. So it went from, you know, this is. This is my ride or die. This is the person. This is the person that brought me into the world. I would do anything for this woman, and I still would to this day. But there was also a lot of resentment and a lot of pain towards her because she had brought people into my life and allowed them to do these things to me for 15 years. More than that, actually. You know, so. So I'd be lying if I. If I said that there wasn't resentment and bitterness towards her, and I had to face that.
[00:07:06] Speaker B: Yeah, how's the relationship now? Have you faced that and. And worked through all that? Because that's not an easy thing to do.
[00:07:13] Speaker A: Absolutely. Yeah. Talk to her yesterday, you know, just call her out of the blue. You know, we. We have a great relationship now. I think there's a better understanding through maturity and just letting a lot of that stuff go, go. Because. Because the truth of the matter is she had her own battles and demons at that point in time, too, and I don't know what she was going through. So. So how am I. How am I the one to hold her responsible for everything?
[00:07:36] Speaker B: That's a great outlook, because if we hold on to regret. We die inside.
When you replace regret with forgiveness, it does something amazing from the inside out. So I commend you for that key. So tell me about that first company and what your role was there that helped you build that confidence and that thirst and desire for from just really.
[00:08:03] Speaker A: I would say Crushing was a sales organization.
[00:08:07] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:08:08] Speaker A: What I've learned through experience, and that's all I know, by the way, I. That was my first job, first real career, I guess I would say. And I never really looked back. I'd been 100% commission based ever since then. So it was an opportunity for me to personally develop myself. You know, Drew, I remember walking into that office and just feeling the culture, the camaraderie, the striving for greatness. And I was like, this is my way out, you know, so in a three month period as an 18 year old, I was able to save $42,000, you know.
[00:08:40] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:41] Speaker A: And in a year's timeframe was responsible for over one and a half million dollars in sales.
[00:08:47] Speaker B: So that amazes me, Keegan, because, you know, especially with, with men, you know, with your prefrontal cortex not mature until you're 25, 30, that decision making and judgment ability. And you were able to do this at age 18. How the heck do you do it? I know you didn't know your brain hadn't matured, but how did you do it? What got you there?
[00:09:11] Speaker A: I knew there was more. I always had this feeling inside of me, and I feel most people have this as well. We know we're destined for greatness. We know there's more out there in this world. And often people get boxed into what is expected or a standard or a societal belief. And we get forced into this little box. And then we build our lives and then we get to our 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, and we look back and go, who the heck am I? What did I do over this lifetime? And so, you know, it was again, an opportunity for me to take hold of my life.
I said, you know, I know I'm destined for more, and I know that there's a way to leverage this for future and development. And that really kept me going. That was the fire within me.
[00:10:00] Speaker B: Thank goodness for that, for that fire. And it's wonderful that you did not allow others on the outside to extinguish that fire. And a lot of us allow outside influences to extinguish our fire. And it's got to stop. Especially with men, it has to stop. So true. So let's, let's fast Forward a little bit to your dad's passing and. And how. I know, you know, you didn't want to deal with, you know, you had that thing about dealing with grief or doing the right thing and all that. How did you make that decision? Do you have a conscious, you know, understanding of how you really made that decision?
[00:10:45] Speaker A: That's a tough question.
[00:10:48] Speaker B: You know, we talk about the gut, the heart, and the brain and which part of that. Or is it a combination of. Because sometimes we don't know why we make a decision.
[00:10:57] Speaker A: It's really interesting you say that, Drew, because in my opinion, we have the physical being, the intellectual being, and the spiritual being.
[00:11:06] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:11:07] Speaker A: And we live in all three of those domains every day of our life.
[00:11:11] Speaker B: Yes, we do.
[00:11:11] Speaker A: But most people are most cognizant of the physical being.
So to be honest with you, in that exact conscious decision, it felt more of a spiritual decision than anything else.
[00:11:23] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: It didn't feel like it was an intellectual thing. It didn't feel like it was a physical thing. There was something deep inside of me, an energy, if you will, that that was calling me towards that decision.
[00:11:32] Speaker B: Right. And, you know, I'm not surprised you. You said that. Quite what I. What I am surprised about, as you listen to it many times, we men don't listen to that. We hear it, and we don't listen. And I don't know if it's the ego getting in the way, but I'm impressed that you made that decision. You went with what you believed you needed to do for yourself.
[00:11:59] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think, honestly, a part of that is that I grew up in an environment where I never had a cheerleader. I never had any person that ever believed in me. I got kicked out of three elementary schools. I was a terror.
I had all of these things against me, so I never really had that support. So for me, criticism wasn't usually a big thing, because why would I care what anybody else thought about me when nobody really was there to support me or help me level up, you know? So inside, I knew that it was a definitive moment for my character.
[00:12:32] Speaker B: Right. Absolutely. I give you credit because you did spend that last penny you talked about after that was all said and done, trying to dig out of that financial situation and emotional. I mean, you're in a car that doesn't have heat. And tell me about that trek to Chicago, and. And it's like you rose up again, like, for the third time. The second time. Third time. Tell me about that, because that you've sustained. And I'm really interested in hearing about that.
[00:13:02] Speaker A: Packed everything in my car, dog included. Yeah, it was a Nissan Altima, small car. And we made the drive up. It was a 23 hour drive. I was in South Carolina at the time. We stopped one time for gas and then went all the way up. And I was actually working for a company, it was a solar company. And so what happened was because there were government and state funded grants, if you close the deal, you often didn't get paid until six to nine months out. So I actually was the number one rep in the company at that time, in a very short period of time. But I wasn't actually making any profit from it. So I was doing all this work and I was not profiting. So I picked up another job at a restaurant. So mainly so I could eat, but also have some form of income. And it really comes down to this. Drew, in my eyes, all humans operate on two domains. We're either avoiding pain or we are seeking pleasure. And so I had enough pain built up over time that I just had to look myself in the, in the, in the eyes and say, look, enough is enough. There's more out there. You cannot settle for this. You must raise the standard. And then it was simply a matter of acting on that every day.
[00:14:21] Speaker B: Right. You know, it's. It's interesting to me that you seem to have self love, love for yourself. You're able to, after everything you endured to be able to look in the mirror. You in essence said you deserve more and you went for it. And that is an amazing, amazing accomplishment after everything you went through. So kudos to you with that. So once you had that mindset, I'm gonna do it. Tell me about the rest.
[00:14:50] Speaker A: This actually inspired the first book I put out, is that I knew that there were certain things that we have to do selfishly to make ourselves better, but you also have to connect that selflessly back to other people, you know. So an example of this would be morning routine, especially for men. We must protect the morning routine at all costs. Why? Because I know for a fact, Drew, if you show up and you contribute to your spirituality, your personal development, and your health, early in the morning, you're going to fill your cup. When you fill your cup, you have more energy, you have better conversation, you have better relationships, better work, production, all of these things are connected. So it's our responsibility to show up and do these things before our family needs us, before the world needs us, before business needs us. And it was just a ratification of, look, I can sit and dwell on my own Problems. But I know there's somebody out there that has gone through this or gone through worse, and I need to give them a voice. I need to give them inspiration and motivation and a vision for change. Because if I could do it, why the heck couldn't all these other men do it? You know? And so that. That drove me.
[00:16:06] Speaker B: You know, I'm glad you said that, because I. I am working on trying to build the habit of prayer, meditation, gratitude, journal, and exercise, those four things in the morning. And I'm building the habit, but at the same time, I'm breaking bad habits. So I'm. It's somewhat of a struggle for me to really solidify that morning routine. I have noticed that on the days I skip praying or I skip meditate, any one of those four things, my cup is not full at the end of the day, man. And. And you're right. So thank you. You just gave me motivation to. To really consciously focus on that because, yeah, I gotta. I want to show up for everybody else, but you got to show up for yourself first.
[00:16:48] Speaker A: That's right. That's right. And that's where that. That's where that line gets a little blurry for people. You know, we talk again about societal influences, and let's say, you know, you're. You're the. The father figure and you've got a significant other and children that depend on you. I mean, that's a lot of weight, you know, And I feel that the voice in society shifted over time. There's almost like this domain to create weakness within men because it is easier to control somebody that's weak and defeated and down than it is to control somebody who's confident and powerful and resourceful. You know, those are two very different domains, but the same person can be in both worlds.
[00:17:27] Speaker B: Absolutely. And I think this whole toxic masculinity crap that's coming out, or it's been out, is.
It's planned, it's done on purpose to break down the mail, to weaken the mail. And you know what? I think it's stupid because I think men and women, we need each other, and we each hold strengths and we each hold opportunities that we can improve, that we need to work together because the united front makes them powerful, powerful relationship. And, you know, so people like you and I, we got to break down these. These labels and all this. These, These toxic narratives.
So. So good for you. Good for you.
[00:18:06] Speaker A: And two things on that real quick is the truth of the matter is, and I want to be really clear about this, we all have feminine and masculine energy. So to your point. Yeah, we rely on each other and. And it's like when we are both operating in the same mindset and we support each other, that's when you get the best results, not when you have this camaraderie and this line between the two. And so, in my opinion, I think that society has, in fact, polarized the opposite of masculine or, sorry, toxic masculinity. And what I mean by that more specifically is think about it like this. A man that has no control over his emotions is way more dangerous than a man that does. I can tell you firsthand, all the most successful people I know, they are dangerous men. They're not the person you want to mess with, but they are calm, cool, collected. When they walk into a room and they gain that notoriety, they gain that. That presence. And so, yeah, it's something that we have to unite together. And I think that it's almost like a pendulum, right. It swings to one side or it swings to another.
[00:19:13] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:13] Speaker A: But there's not really a middle ground. And, yeah, it's tough.
[00:19:18] Speaker B: It is. Yeah. I had had somebody speak at the men's collaboration tribe that I run, and he. It was about emotional quotient and intelligence quotient, really. About emotional quotient and about. I forget who coined the term, but the amygdala hijack.
[00:19:33] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:19:33] Speaker B: That when you. When you. When you hijack the amygdala, then you shut off the prefrontal cortex, which is the decision. The rational decision making. And when you do that to a male or anybody, you. You hijack that amygdala. It's like you said, that the person who can't control the emotion is dangerous. And, you know, and that, you know, and plus, it's all scientific. When you hijack the amygdala, you release cortisol, which is a negative chemical in your body, rather than all the. All the good stuff like the dopamine and stuff like that. So, look, there's a lot.
[00:20:05] Speaker A: Yeah, a couple things on that. I mean, I love all this stuff. I love getting into the neurology of it. But it's really fascinating when you break down eq, for the longest time in our society, that was viewed as the primary way to analyze our intelligence output. You know, in eq, what it really breaks down to is the mass of the brain versus the mass of the being. And so when you think about it like this, in the animal kingdom, we have the highest EQ and the next closest. It's. It's seven. Our EQ is 7.4. The next closest is the dolphin with 5.7. And so there's been tons of research there, and then later on, it shifted to, okay, IQ is actually more relevant because that's based on patterns and habits. And then when you talk about the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala, this is. This is really fascinating because there are a lot of different psychological viewpoints here. For example, when we look into Freud, you know, or I think Aristotle actually coined this phrase, but give me the man until he's. Give me the boy until he's seven, and I will show you the man.
[00:21:12] Speaker B: And.
[00:21:13] Speaker A: And the. The thought behind that was that our prefrontal cortex is not developed until the age of three. But then the patterns, the habits, the environment that we are surrounded by in those seven years dictate who we are later on. Neurogenesis shows us that that's not true. So, you know, think about it like this.
I think about my grandma. She's in her 80s, and she's learning a different language right now.
[00:21:39] Speaker B: So.
[00:21:39] Speaker A: So how can you sit here and say that? Somebody cannot learn and expand and change. But a really cool technique, by the way, to be able to shift from the prefrontal cortex to the amygdala.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:50] Speaker A: Is just breathing, is simply focus on breathing. Yeah.
[00:21:53] Speaker B: You know, and specifically the box breathing that the. The Navy SEALs have mastered. That's what they. This guy talked about. About. There's a specific type of breathing called the box breathing, which helps, you know, stop the hijack of the amygdala. But, yeah, he says, like, It's a good YouTube video where they teach how to box breathe. I got to learn how to do that. That sounds. Yeah, it's the way to go.
[00:22:12] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, the sweet spot. And this. Back to your point, Drew, this is the power of meditation, in essence.
[00:22:18] Speaker B: Right.
[00:22:18] Speaker A: It helps us to focus on the breathing, the concentration. And so, you know, if you're listening to this right now, a very quick implementation is you stop, focus on breathing. Six breaths, inhale through the nose, hold exhale through the mouth, and you do this six times, and you can change. You can transfer the energy from the prefrontal cortex to the amygdala. I do this every day in the gym, by the way. If you are in between sets, and you're like, man, I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I want to take a breather. No, focus on your breath. Do that six times, and boom, you're right back at it. So it's very powerful.
[00:22:54] Speaker B: It is. And, you know, to Add to that, I heard about this six times. I also was told that if you inhale through the nose for seven seconds and exhale out of the mouth for 11 seconds, there's science behind that too. So you do this six times?
7, 11.
For me, it works. So, I mean, there's something behind.
[00:23:20] Speaker A: Definitely works.
[00:23:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:22] Speaker A: And one real quick thing, and I don't mean to hijack, I just. I love all the stuff you're talking about right now.
[00:23:27] Speaker B: Great, man. Yeah.
[00:23:28] Speaker A: When we talk about cortisol, one thing that's really clear and. And again, implementation. If you want to reduce cortisol levels, I'll tell you one of the easiest ways to do it. Spend the first 15 minutes of your day in the sunlight. Spend the last 15 minutes of your day in the sunlight. Now, maybe you wake up super early and you go to bed when the, when the, or you get home when the sun's down. Okay, great. Just go out and go on a walk. Being out in that nature actually helps. But another truth is cortisol is usually induced from stress. The truth of the matter is, a lot of people are afraid of the word stress because, you know, you kind of get this feeling in your stomach as soon as you hear the word. But the reality is, think of any great thing you've ever done, man. You just put out a number one selling book, right? A number one on Amazon. And so in order to do that, you had to sustain a level of stress to. To provide enough pressure to act.
[00:24:20] Speaker B: Yeah, right. So stress is, is necessary just too, it's too much of it is when. That's anxiety and stuff.
[00:24:25] Speaker A: That's the key.
[00:24:27] Speaker B: Yeah. You got to have a balance. But you're right, you need to have that. The bad butterfly feeling in your gut. The cortisol is released in the gut as opposed to some other chemicals released out of the brain. So that's why when you get stressed, you feel that, that pulling in your stomach because that cortisol, you just don't want to let it turn into anxiety and panic because that's when. So that. Then there's that breathing will keep you kind of, kind of level. This is fascinating stuff, man.
You know, I don't want to end this. I'm gonna have to. We're gonna have to get at some point. But a couple things I want to ask you is, I guess we're at that point. I'd like to know, Keegan, you're gonna give advice to 7 to 10 year old Keegan about life?
What are you going to tell them?
[00:25:22] Speaker A: Mindset is one of the most powerful tools that you have.
And the second to that massive action is the cure all to everything.
If you feel like you don't have control, you don't have the life you want, shift the mindset and then act, get to work right away. I promise you it will change and it's gonna feel a little rocky the first week or two, but once you get into that system and you recreate and restructure those habits, you've got to keep going.
[00:25:59] Speaker B: I love that. And you say don't wait. Because if you wait, you let your mind, your brain talk you out of it.
[00:26:06] Speaker A: The best time to act is when you have those feelings and emotions.
[00:26:10] Speaker B: I always say do it scared. I love that. Great advice. So now you put your entrepreneurial hat on and you're talking to young Keegan, the boy, the man who start wants to get in to business.
What advice are you giving the young business man, Keegan?
[00:26:32] Speaker A: Create a clear vision for the future.
Create proper systems and find a way to impact others. You know, Drew, in my eyes, you can have all the money in the world, you can have all the material goods and that's great, but that does not create fulfillment. It's about the person you become in the process. And in order to fully reach fulfillment in my eyes, you've got to tie this into purpose. And purpose is a fusion of our gifts and how we can use those gifts to impact other people's lives.
[00:27:03] Speaker B: Love it.
[00:27:04] Speaker A: So that, that's the ticket.
[00:27:06] Speaker B: Yep. Love it. All right, well, one last question and I want to promote you. So if you were going to give a, a grabbing title to this podcast to get people to listen, what would it be?
[00:27:23] Speaker A: It does not matter where you start.
[00:27:27] Speaker B: Love it. That's going to be the name of it. So I like getting it from, from the, the person who I'm speak with, whom I'm speaking. Tell the audience is now going to want more of Keegan. Please tell them how to get more of you. What are you involved in and how do they reach you?
[00:27:45] Speaker A: Great way to find me www.ckc.coach Very simple. The four primary avenues where I really love to serve people is through communities, one on one coaching retreats and speaking engagements. So those are some of the really big things that are going on right now.
[00:28:06] Speaker B: And we can find all that at your website?
[00:28:09] Speaker A: Yes, sir.
[00:28:10] Speaker B: Beautiful. Tell us the name of your books and where to find them.
[00:28:14] Speaker A: First book is Selfish to Selfless. It's on Amazon. The second book is Growing through Adversity. We're actually in final edit right now and then we're tying that into the third book, which is about halfway complete. And that is going to be a three part series. But right now you can get them separately. But the first one is Amazon right now.
[00:28:33] Speaker B: Beautiful. Well, Keegan, thank you so much, my friend. I am grateful that you're in my life and we met how we did and we're just going to be building a better and better relationship. But keep doing what you're doing.
You're helping men become better, better human being. So I appreciate you.
[00:28:52] Speaker A: Thank you so much for your time, for the opportunity and for your friendship.
[00:28:56] Speaker B: Absolutely. You take care now, my friend.
[00:28:59] Speaker A: You too, Drew.
[00:29:02] Speaker B: Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe and give us a review to help others find it. If you find yourself immersed in adversity and would like to find support from other men in time times of struggle, please become a member of my Men's Supporting Men Collaboration Tribe by emailing me at drew at profitcompassion. Com expressing your interest and I'll get in touch with you. Speak to you soon.
